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Me and my wingman have approach anxiety.
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Author:  Shadowboxer [ Sun Jul 29, 2012 4:25 am ]
Post subject:  Me and my wingman have approach anxiety.
Me and my wing have approach anxiety. We are equally bad! XD

What do we do to overcome it?[/url]
Author:  nighcrawler [ Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
basically if you have approach anxiety make yourself a goal lets say your goal is to approach 20 girls if you can't do 20 then shoot it down to 10. if you can't do 10 shoot it down to 5. if you can't do 5 then do 1 each day which shouldn't be that hard. always remember the three second rule and do not hesitate. i recommend looking up the sticky notes posted by chief. the "newbie mission"
Author:  Snatch88 [ Tue Jul 31, 2012 1:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just start talking to random people, guys/girls on the bus, people in stores etc..
Small talk if you have the chance..
If you have a problem talking to people you're attracted to, begin with people you don't feel attracted to, build up some self esteem..
And if they are rude to you, than remind yourself these people aren't probably worth meeting anyway 8) good luck!
Author:  vcwriter [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Both of you might end up holding each other back if you're not careful. At least if one of you has that initiative, then sometimes that can add some momentum to the night, and set a good example. Two guys who feel weird about meeting new people: you're destined to talk to each other.

Aside from pure balls (at least one of you resists the comfort of clinging to your wingman)... there's one more thing you can try.

(1) Find a spot in the bar that is kind of high traffic. Not the washroom or the entrance, because people are in a hurry. But close to the bar is a good one.

(2) Talk to each other and have FUN. Don't talk about game. Don't be creepy. Talk about funny shit. Make hilarious observations. Make fun of each other. Everything that your wingman says is the most hilarious thing you've ever heard.

(3) Any girl who is standing next to you, opportunistically bring her into the conversation. "Can you believe this guy? He just said that girl's face looks like Jack Nicholson. Yeah, that girl right over there!" / "It's true though! Look!" Don't be needy or pushy. Just look over your shoulder and act like she's a buddy.

(4) After you show initiative, don't act like you NEED her to be in the conversation. Be prepared for anything: she smiles then walks away, she reacts badly because she doesn't get your sense of humor, or she straight up ignores you. It's cool if she walks away. But if she actually gets pulled into your little party of two, transition to a better topic.

If that won't work for you... it's back to pure balls. Just be ready to walk away from your friend and start a conversation. Or finding a new wingman, before you reinforce bad habits.
Author:  IOWA [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Drink more Think less
Author:  Melodical [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 4:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Give each other £100 at the start of the night. For every HB you approach your wingman gives you £10 back and vice versa. If you kiss close or declare an interest in a HB you have approached (it's on) then he gives you all your money back.

Approach anxiety is controlled by the amygdala which reacts to fearful stimuli so something unpleasant (losing £100) will depotentiate it's activity allowing your prefrontal cortex to tip the balance.
Author:  InstantClassic [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 4:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
well you could try using the "have you met..." opener from the tv show how i met your mother. Basically when your at the bar/table/wherever turn and face a hb and say "hi, have you met (insert friends name) then leave and force the interaction between them, the awkwardness soon goes away and often can lead to good conversation if you follow up with a line like "i dunno why he called me (name) im really called (different name)" when she says really just say "no im messing with you, i really am (name) but i try to keep it on the down low, too many stalkers in this worl" smile, wink, whatever to pull it off as funny and viola your done with the approach


hope that helps

Carl
Author:  fajitaman89 [ Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
How to overcome it? Go first. Don't rely on your wing. Go for it. It's all about breaking past your bullshit. Do some pushups, slap your face around, ANYTHING to get you in your body and out of your mind. Meaning...calm your mind and FOCUS in on the present. Easy now.

Or you can try this...

Excite yourself to the point of frenzy. Dance...laugh...become ecstatic.

Either RELAX or EXCITE. Put yourself in either state. Try it.
Author:  raggamuffinstylez [ Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
basically if you have approach anxiety make yourself a goal lets say your goal is to approach 20 girls if you can't do 20 then shoot it down to 10. if you can't do 10 shoot it down to 5. if you can't do 5 then do 1 each day which shouldn't be that hard. always remember the three second rule and do not hesitate. i recommend looking up the sticky notes posted by chief. the "newbie mission"
1 a day is harder than 5 a day. the more girls you approach at once the easier it becomes because you have more positive reference experiences.
Author:  skillmatiic [ Sat Aug 18, 2012 3:02 am ]
Post subject: 
I agree with nightcrawler and snatch88 they are right, follow what they say and you'll be freed from what keeps from approaching women.
Author:  SE23 [ Sat Aug 18, 2012 10:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Its like jumping into a swimming pool, the first 3 seconds are uncomfortable but after that it feels perfect and nice, and you can keep on swimming without any trouble. The same applies to socialising, its only a ancient biological hardwired response which makes you fearful to approach women.
Author:  Pickwick [ Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:30 pm ]
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Next time you go ANYWHERE, do this.

Bar, club, store, park, little league baseball game, airplane, beach, I don't care.

Sit there for a minute or two. A MINUTE OR TWO. Tell yourself you're a spy. And not a fresh blood spy, you're a fucking experienced motherfucker who gets the job done. JUST PUT YOUR MIND IN THAT ENVIRONMENT. Yeah, you don't look like a spy. Why!?!? Because you're such a good fucking spy! Most important, you know you're going to get the mission accomplished. Just remember that you NEED to get shit done. Why? Because you love your country. Why? Because it pays you.

Anyway, you need to get your shit done any way possible. So you're going to look up and see the target. Your mission is to find out who that person is. Doesn't matter who it is, woman, man, teenager, dog, cat, ant, it doesn't matter. But stick to woman or man. You just need to find out who that person is. For your mission. Not for yourself, but for your job. And you're going to do it, because your an old school experienced James Bond/Dos Equis kinda fella. Classy, good looking, and charismatic like it's your middle name.

Once you have the target, think of an opening point. You don't care what the opening conversation is. You're a spy, you have a shit ton of tricks up your sleeve. Talk about news, weather, their cool phrase on their shirt, how you like their shoes, if they're waiting for somebody, the bus they're waiting on, it doesn't matter. Hell, you can be walking next to them, trip, fall, and see if they'll help you. If they don't, get up, and start talking about your fall. You're a master spy and you will get shit done. I'd suggest talking about something that interests them. BUT you're the master spy so you know your shit better than I do. Once conversations starts, just talk. To get information out of them, be polite, smile, and be confident. But since you're a spy, you can fake that like it's a piece of cake. Just remember, you need to find shit out for your country, not because you want to make beautiful love to that person. That person can think anything they want about you, but you don't care. That person only interests you from the perspective of your job. Once you find out who they are, you won't ever see them. You have other shit on your mind. Like your beautiful wife and son, or a bunch of other females that you will go have sex with after your mission. So it doesn't matter what the person thinks. Because you're a spy. And you don't give a shit.
Author:  Bezy [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well anxiety isnt going anywhere so get used to it, every one has it from the AFC to the best mPUA's, it is an instinctual response that is ingrained in your DNA from 10's of thousands of years of evolution.
With that being said, how you deal with anxiety is what sets apart the winners from the losers, if you wallo in it you will be crushed if you accept it and do everything you can to push through it you WILL succeed!
Sometimes it takes a certain way of approaching, maybe a few drinks maybe a little bit a weed, some use harder drugs but I am wholey against that as it is addictive and can ruin your life.
Anyways, look back on your past and think of things that put your anxiety to a minimum and try to recreate that in you approach, I always have found that after one or two you realize its actually a lot of fun, so just FORCE yourself through the first few and the rest will flow.
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