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Socializing problem Maybe?
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Author:  CockStaR [ Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:04 am ]
Post subject:  Socializing problem Maybe?
Ok, YOU TELL ME WHAT U THINK THIS IS. 'cause i cant figure out what my issue is.

One night wit a bunch of friends playin cards crackin jokes and makin everyone laugh next day didnt feel like talking to anybody, also i've noticed when people i dont know at all i hold back alot what im gunna say, 'cause i have a problem saying what ever ons my mind when i DO talk. (which i rarely do know what to say/ or feel like talkin period.)

FUNNY thing is. I work at a retail store as a cashier/stock etc. etc.
So im answering phones, talking with all different types of people young and old. But i realize thats im either ignorance as FUCK or they just think im a retard. 'cause all i can think up to say is "Hello, how are you?" "good" "Have a great day." Sometimes ill have an older customer TRY and spark up a convo wit me but i just shoot him down by saying like "oh ~yeah?" or just smile or something stupid like that. then some days im fine and i have some basic Convo Skillz. (Hmm i better stop here or i could possibly write a newspaper acrile on this issue.)

Anyways, so whatd think am i crazy or something, I've been trying to figure out what my problem is FOREVER. But im still the say, i thought its like a personality problem :D I found one post that some what has my issue in a nut shell but leaves some stuff out. I have a problem wit OVER thinking, such as ill have the convo speedin through my brain and ill think about how i think itll go, but the words never seem to come out the same way, if they even come out at all. A co worker thinks i analyze and overanalyze to much.

hmm, maybe i should consult a therapist or consulter?

~Jay
Author:  Mike [ Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
You're not crazy, you just have a problem with small talk, as do I. I'm looking forward to the responses from the more experienced...
Author:  Ka [ Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
My guess is that you probably do not have any serious mental problem, the only things i can think of that might be a cause of these issues are; Bi-polar, depression, any anxeity related illness (OCD, social anxeity, etc).

It can never hurt to goto a pyschologist. I like you used to be unable even to converse with family and friends. Some days id be on top of the workd chatting and being the life of the party...but more often then not i was the guy just sitting there wishing i was at home.

To me it sounds like your most likely just not socially experienced. Due to your position at work, and dependant on how much time you actually have with each person...DO ingage in small talk. Ask them how thier day was, Compliment them (yes i know not PUA like...but keep it to things like, nice hairstyle, nice shirt..etc).

Im finding out more and more that finding something relative to talk about is not how you head conversations. Ask questions, be it direct (Whered you get that shirt), opinion based (similar to openers), self directed (what should i do, or what would you do in my shoes).

All this advice is general and not realted to picking up girls. It sounds to me like you have to get comfortable with open and engageing conversation.

Say hi to random people, ask random people for the time, converse with your customers, converse with friends and family...eventually you will feel good about talking and will be comfortable with doing it in sets.

Hope this helps
Author:  Roads [ Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Socializing problem Maybe?
Quote:
Ok, YOU TELL ME WHAT U THINK THIS IS. 'cause i cant figure out what my issue is.

One night wit a bunch of friends playin cards crackin jokes and makin everyone laugh next day didnt feel like talking to anybody, also i've noticed when people i dont know at all i hold back alot what im gunna say, 'cause i have a problem saying what ever ons my mind when i DO talk. (which i rarely do know what to say/ or feel like talkin period.)

FUNNY thing is. I work at a retail store as a cashier/stock etc. etc.
So im answering phones, talking with all different types of people young and old. But i realize thats im either ignorance as FUCK or they just think im a retard. 'cause all i can think up to say is "Hello, how are you?" "good" "Have a great day." Sometimes ill have an older customer TRY and spark up a convo wit me but i just shoot him down by saying like "oh ~yeah?" or just smile or something stupid like that. then some days im fine and i have some basic Convo Skillz. (Hmm i better stop here or i could possibly write a newspaper acrile on this issue.)

Anyways, so whatd think am i crazy or something, I've been trying to figure out what my problem is FOREVER. But im still the say, i thought its like a personality problem :D I found one post that some what has my issue in a nut shell but leaves some stuff out. I have a problem wit OVER thinking, such as ill have the convo speedin through my brain and ill think about how i think itll go, but the words never seem to come out the same way, if they even come out at all. A co worker thinks i analyze and overanalyze to much.

hmm, maybe i should consult a therapist or consulter?

~Jay
I have this too. I am working on it by sarging a lot and generally pushing myself to have conversations with strangers. Try it, when you have nothing to say just say the first thing that comes to mind...or better yet, grab a retail item and start reading the box instructions to the customer. :D

Sounds crazy, but it works. Just...talk man!
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