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| fear of comming off as creepy https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=138396 |
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| Author: | thatdude156 [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | fear of comming off as creepy |
I've long since gotten over AA, but the fear of coming off as creepy has been with me. How can i destroy this obstacle? |
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| Author: | Robokok [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 3:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: fear of comming off as creepy |
Quote: I've long since gotten over AA, but the fear of coming off as creepy has been with me. How can i destroy this obstacle?
In the beginning this is normal but with more exposure you will " reprogram" your thinking patterns. The "creepy factor" is not about what you say/do with the girl but its your little voice inside your head trying to protect you from rejection. It is up to you to acknowledge that voice not judge it and move on......we are animals men/woman and seeking each other is normal and expected.
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| Author: | Natural at college [ Mon Jun 18, 2012 7:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I relate to you completely. Hell, just today in class a guy and girl were a couple rows in front of me. The guy looked over to the girl to say something after the instructor asked us to discuss the problem on the board. Something just told me it was creepy. I highly doubt it was though seeing as I had to clue what was said, tonality, past experiences with each other. It was just my mind set that set it off as creepy. Maybe it was because he looked creepy to me or something. But either way, its a mind set. I'd also love if some1 could elaborate on this, I by no means am experienced. |
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| Author: | thatdude156 [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
i thought about it some more and i think it may be the fear of being humiliated. I didn't have this fear until i saw a guy get beaten up by a bunch of bfs for gaming girls on fb. |
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| Author: | clearspeak [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think this is a really important thread and I hope more people chime in on it. The "creepy" thing is an issue in all communication. How do you keep your audience/listeners/conversation partner from feeling that? How can you proactively address it so it doesn't even become an issue in the interaction? |
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| Author: | meetjoeblack [ Fri Jun 22, 2012 12:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I saw Jeffy Alan of rsd free tour this past year. One of the things he spoke about was being enough and this is it. Take it or leave it so, it removes the fears of rejection and worry. Books like how to win friends and influence people are great for removing worry. Tons of tools and things to do to prevent it. Also, I can make you confident by Paul Mckenna is a great book that comes with a hypnosis cd and activities to help you. You could also look into business communication classes or courses over the summer or maybe look into a sales job for the summer. Not just the money but, the approaching aspect nonstop and being comfortable with it is priceless. |
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| Author: | rakeal [ Fri Jun 22, 2012 2:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Fear and creepiness are one and the same. A creepy person is someone who is telegraphing fear. If you are fearful on the approach your behavior will be subtly altered. They will notice and lose attraction. 99% of attraction is pretty much not being fearful in a general sense. The whole three second rule for example is to avoid hesitation that makes you appear awkward. To me the rule doesn't exist, because maybe it's awkward for her, but it's not awkward for me. I don't really give a shit. Like what's going to happen? What is the worst possible thing that could happen? Rejection? HA! I don't need to avoid awkward silence. Because I'm not even on that level of thinking. I can say anything. In fact I'm certain I say the wrong things. Instead of avoiding the awkward situations, I actually go out of my way to allow them to happen. Then I deal with the awkwardness with absolute calmness and a smile on my face. If she feels awkward but I feel calm HER hesitation gives me the opportunity to lead and reopen with anything I want. |
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| Author: | Chicoman69 [ Wed Jun 27, 2012 4:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Be more interesting. Have cool hobbies besides just playing Diablo 3. |
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| Author: | clearspeak [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Fear and creepiness are one and the same. A creepy person is someone who is telegraphing fear.
I don't think that's complete enough of a statement. Someone who never has any reaction to things and is stone cold could also seem very creepy. I think the issue is inappropriateness in any direction. Seeming afraid when there is nothing to be afraid of could come across as creepy. But being completely unfazed by something that should lead to a reaction could also make one seem creepy.And beyond that, creepy is sometimes in the eye of the beholder. You might be acting perfectly appropriately, but interacting with a person that was once harmed by someone that looked like you and now they have a knee jerk reaction of feeling creeped out by you for no reason of your own doing. |
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