PUA Forum :: Problem with talking

I think you have to get used to the idea that you might have to get worse before you get better. You can be mildly interesting by shutting your mouth. (Body language and good dress go a long way. Sometimes a really long way.) But you need to learn to talk if you want to get through these other situations. That means going out there and making mistakes. Maybe talking too much. Maybe being boring. Maybe saying stupid things. But that's the only way you can find the few interactions that ARE good, and try to follow that pattern more than your failures. You may even surprise yourself.

It's the same thing with touching. Some guys are so afraid of touching that they just don't do it, and come off as frigid or uncomfortable. Sometimes you have to try being overly touchy, to the point of being creepy, before you understand how much touching you can get away with.

Author:	AFCPG [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 12:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Problem with talking
Hi guys Thank you a lot for helping me up to this point. So I followed ur advises I went to a lot of parties talked with alot of girls. But I still have an intense fear and dont even know what to say to girls in normal talking when they come up to me and say whats up I just say Nothing and thats it.And I'm just talking bout a normal conversation here not bout PUA stuff like push and pull,negs etc...I got really big issues even to make a small talk with girls I know.And this is killing me...........So many parties and still nothin.U saying at parties to try and get the attention to some of the girls.But there everybody's talking and its so loud and there other guys who dont shut up even for a moment and I cant say anything.... Can u tell me why is that.And what should I read cuz for about 7 months of trying I aint got no results. Thank u and sorry for bothering u.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 1:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Problem with talking
Quote: sorry for bothering u. Start by getting rid of this mind set! Read this link, hope it helps Bro confidence-how-to-show-it-even-if-you-d ... highlight= Oh and this one: funny-stories-and-how-to-tell-them-vt13 ... highlight=

Author:	vcwriter [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 6:22 am ]
Post subject:
Come on dude. You're a smart guy. If you know that girls are gonna say "what's up", you can actually prepare for this. If you actually put your head to it, you can come up with SOMETHING, even if it takes a WEEK. Ask yourself, if your best friend came up to you and said "what's up", what would you say? Almost anything, right? That's what you can tell her. Keep it positive, of course. Don't go off talking about bored you are, or how tired you are from work. Talk about anything from "yo! having a good time. i think i need another drink" to "the craziest thing just happened to me this week." What if nothing crazy happened to you this week? It could still be from this month. It could actually be a real simple occurrence that you'd tell a friend about, like someone saying something really funny to you, or seeing someone wearing something stupid. Or, if you can honestly say that nothing worth talking about has happened to you in a month, maybe the problem is you aren't living an interesting life. I'm willing to actually put words in your mouth, if you ask me. But you owe it to yourself to actually think it through and realize you have plenty to say.

Author:	clearspeak [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 7:04 am ]
Post subject:
Communication is a skill. What would you do if you were having trouble with fixing cars or playing baseball? Probably you'd do two things: 1) Look for people who are really good at those things and study their advice and what they do 2) Practice, practice, practice to prepare ahead of time Even most of the very best speakers in the world don't come into it cold. They do the things I just mentioned. Many of them find the people who were the best before them and even hire them as coaches. And you better believe they practice like crazy and prepare what to do in every possible scenario. This is why so many people suggest having a few practiced routines when you're just getting started.

Author:	AFCPG [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 7:52 pm ]
Post subject:	dsda
Thank u all for the answers.For now I can only use social cirlce game. when I dont talk girl already find me as creepy.And If I just go from not talking to talking too much... is gonna get bad.Girls just go to the guys that get more attention.And I dont know how to ... get attention.But those guys are actually my friends..

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Author:	vcwriter [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:50 pm ]
Post subject:
I think you have to get used to the idea that you might have to get worse before you get better. You can be mildly interesting by shutting your mouth. (Body language and good dress go a long way. Sometimes a really long way.) But you need to learn to talk if you want to get through these other situations. That means going out there and making mistakes. Maybe talking too much. Maybe being boring. Maybe saying stupid things. But that's the only way you can find the few interactions that ARE good, and try to follow that pattern more than your failures. You may even surprise yourself. It's the same thing with touching. Some guys are so afraid of touching that they just don't do it, and come off as frigid or uncomfortable. Sometimes you have to try being overly touchy, to the point of being creepy, before you understand how much touching you can get away with.

Author:	clearspeak [ Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:54 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I think you have to get used to the idea that you might have to get worse before you get better. You can be mildly interesting by shutting your mouth. (Body language and good dress go a long way. Sometimes a really long way.) But you need to learn to talk if you want to get through these other situations. That means going out there and making mistakes. Maybe talking too much. Maybe being boring. Maybe saying stupid things. But that's the only way you can find the few interactions that ARE good, and try to follow that pattern more than your failures. You may even surprise yourself. It's the same thing with touching. Some guys are so afraid of touching that they just don't do it, and come off as frigid or uncomfortable. Sometimes you have to try being overly touchy, to the point of being creepy, before you understand how much touching you can get away with. This is a very good point. When it comes to public speaking, there are many groups where you can go and they are extremely friendly to beginners and fully expect them to make certain mistakes. It's a shame it isn't like this socially. But you have to just be willing to be a beginner to make progress. That's why some people actually have students go out and purposely fail at first. Fear of failure is even more of an issue than not having skills. You have to be willing to make mistakes and expect to in order to gain practice.

Author:	AFCPG [ Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:
Thank u people! I gotta ask one more thing.I have a group of friends and they call me to hang out almost everytime but when I ask them in person to go out with me no one is coming.So how can I try to change that?

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