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heart beating too fast
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=133407		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  thatdude156 [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:  heart beating too fast
I'm still a teen, but when i see an 8+ girl my hearts beats a lot. sometimes i'm scared to approach her. It may be my low self esteem. I hate myself for not approaching her. how can i overcome this?
Author:  keith666555 [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 10:12 am ]
Post subject: 
The best way to get over approach anxiety is to desensatize yourself to it. Start opening more often. Even if you get rejected. That's the point to desensitation is to get over the fear of approaching. Its not the approach your afraid of, its the rejection. Its just a natural thing we all have. You just have to be confidant and be comfortable in your own skin. Rejections sting goes away after you don't care about what it does to you

Good luck,
Dangerous
Author:  Lionel [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 1:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
I know how you feel. I have been there too. Well, the steps you need to take depend on were you are at the moment. It al depends from individual to individual. What works best is a CBT (cognitive behavorial therapy) approach. But if you want some advice of how to help you get over it, I need to have more details of the problems you are having:

Are you afraid of talking to strangers ? Or are you only afraid to talk to women ? Or are you only afraid to talk to hot women ? Or can you talk to women, even if they are not, but you are scared to ask them out ?

There are 2 things you need to do:

1. Change the way you think about the world. If you think you are not worthy, or she is too hot for you, or you can't talk to women ... change that way of thinking. If you are scared of rejection ... reframe rejection. It is not about if she rejects you or not; it is all about if you can express your feelings to her or not. Also, not all women will like you and you will get rejected. In fact, the guys dating the hottest women have probably got rejected 1000 times more than those dating an ugly woman. If you want to be a player, you will get rejected. But that's OK. There will be lots of women too that like you, even really hots one. So approach and go find those hot women that like you.

Try to read some inner game stuff. This can also help you change the way you see the world.

2. You got to approach. But in small steps. If you are scared of speaking to strangers, please don't even try to go up to a HB9 and tell her she is cute. Your emotions will blow you away; you will not approach; you will feel horrible about yourself and your AA gets only bigger. Try to do something that scares you, but not too much. If you have social anxiety, just try to ask directions to a man, or an old man. Practice this on a daily basis. The more you practice this the better you become at it. If you feel reasonably comfortable about this, try to ask directions to women you are not attracted to. If you feel comfortable with this, try asking directions to women you think are hot. Next time try to compliment a less attractuve girl about something she wears ....

You see ? You need to practice consistently and always make it more difficult but not too much. Always take small baby steps. If you do this, you will get over your fear.

And a great advice I can give you ... don't wait too long with solving this problem. Don't think that by reading stuff behind your computer you will conquer this issue automatically. Get off your lazy ass and go approach people in the real world. Don't make the mistake I made. I waited too many years to go in the real world. While I did that, I made 0 progress. I started to make progress when I decided to go in the real world and approach.

Whatever approach you make ... be proud of it. If something as silly as asking directions is difficult for you ... but you manage to ask directions ... you should be proud of yourself.

You are young. Fix your problem NOW !!! You can get cured much faster because you are still a teenager. I started fixing this at age of 30 !!! I suffered a lot because at that age it is hard to change your thinking patterns. And if necessary ... GET HELP !!! Maybe you need someone to guide you with this. If so, then do it !!! And if possible, even discuss your issue with your parents. They might help you with it.

Good luck !
Author:  thatdude156 [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I know how you feel. I have been there too. Well, the steps you need to take depend on were you are at the moment. It al depends from individual to individual. What works best is a CBT (cognitive behavorial therapy) approach. But if you want some advice of how to help you get over it, I need to have more details of the problems you are having:

Are you afraid of talking to strangers ? Or are you only afraid to talk to women ? Or are you only afraid to talk to hot women ? Or can you talk to women, even if they are not, but you are scared to ask them out ?

There are 2 things you need to do:

1. Change the way you think about the world. If you think you are not worthy, or she is too hot for you, or you can't talk to women ... change that way of thinking. If you are scared of rejection ... reframe rejection. It is not about if she rejects you or not; it is all about if you can express your feelings to her or not. Also, not all women will like you and you will get rejected. In fact, the guys dating the hottest women have probably got rejected 1000 times more than those dating an ugly woman. If you want to be a player, you will get rejected. But that's OK. There will be lots of women too that like you, even really hots one. So approach and go find those hot women that like you.

Try to read some inner game stuff. This can also help you change the way you see the world.

2. You got to approach. But in small steps. If you are scared of speaking to strangers, please don't even try to go up to a HB9 and tell her she is cute. Your emotions will blow you away; you will not approach; you will feel horrible about yourself and your AA gets only bigger. Try to do something that scares you, but not too much. If you have social anxiety, just try to ask directions to a man, or an old man. Practice this on a daily basis. The more you practice this the better you become at it. If you feel reasonably comfortable about this, try to ask directions to women you are not attracted to. If you feel comfortable with this, try asking directions to women you think are hot. Next time try to compliment a less attractuve girl about something she wears ....

You see ? You need to practice consistently and always make it more difficult but not too much. Always take small baby steps. If you do this, you will get over your fear.

And a great advice I can give you ... don't wait too long with solving this problem. Don't think that by reading stuff behind your computer you will conquer this issue automatically. Get off your lazy ass and go approach people in the real world. Don't make the mistake I made. I waited too many years to go in the real world. While I did that, I made 0 progress. I started to make progress when I decided to go in the real world and approach.

Whatever approach you make ... be proud of it. If something as silly as asking directions is difficult for you ... but you manage to ask directions ... you should be proud of yourself.

You are young. Fix your problem NOW !!! You can get cured much faster because you are still a teenager. I started fixing this at age of 30 !!! I suffered a lot because at that age it is hard to change your thinking patterns. And if necessary ... GET HELP !!! Maybe you need someone to guide you with this. If so, then do it !!! And if possible, even discuss your issue with your parents. They might help you with it.

Good luck !
would the 3 second rule help?
Author:  Lionel [ Sun Apr 15, 2012 2:17 am ]
Post subject: 
If you can manage to do this, "yes". But for people with real AA I have never found that they could manage to do this. But give it a try.
Author:  tay [ Sun Apr 15, 2012 6:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have approach anxiety because I feel like I won't be able to keep the conversation going. I am afraid of that silent moment when it feel awkward. This would mostly happen during the day. At a party it's a lot easier and laid back to talk to anyone.
Author:  Lionel [ Sun Apr 15, 2012 6:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
[quote="tay"]I have approach anxiety because I feel like I won't be able to keep the conversation going. I am afraid of that silent moment when it feel awkward. This would mostly happen during the day. At a party it's a lot easier and laid back to talk to anyone.[/quote]

The only way to learn how to keep the convo going is by approaching and starting convo's until you get at the point you don't know what to say anymore. If you are stuck, you friendly tell her goodbye and you start thinking about things that you could have said to make the convo 1 minute longer. With this knowledge you approach a new woman. If you get stuck again, you do the same as before.

I think this works better than canned routines. If you do this, you will learn to have spontaneous conversations. But don't worry too much about what to say. You can always leave whenever you decide. In worst case, you can even just run away from the woman. So what ? Nobody will put you in prison for behaving weird. And if behaving weird is what you need to become good at convo ... well, then start behaving weird ;).
Author:  thatdude156 [ Sun Apr 15, 2012 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
lionel have u ever felt bad about playing a woman? A very nice woman?
Author:  liam79 [ Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
It all comes with practice my friend. When I was 13 I once passed out while trying to talk to a beautiful girl I liked and could never say more than a sentence. Now my heart only beats faster when i'm about to cold approach hb10s.
Author:  thatdude156 [ Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It all comes with practice my friend. When I was 13 I once passed out while trying to talk to a beautiful girl I liked and could never say more than a sentence. Now my heart only beats faster when i'm about to cold approach hb10s.
i managed to desensitize myself to this feeling. i calmed my thoughts and it worked out fine today.
Author:  Lionel [ Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
[quote="thatdude156"]lionel have u ever felt bad about playing a woman? A very nice woman?[/quote]
Ey dude156, first of all I don't want to pretend like I am a smooth guy. I also have AA. But I have less AA than I used to have. And I am still working at getting even more over my AA. I just gave you the things that I learned that helped me improving. I hope my advice will be useful for you. But advice is only useful if you go in the field and do something, now matter how silly and easy stuff you do.

I perfectly understand the moral dilema your having. In fact, I don't see a reason why you should have this dilema. If you see a girl you like and you are honest about your intentions with her, why would it be bad to play her ? It is OK to tell her you don't want to get into any relationship, but just go with the flow and see where life brings you. I would feel bad if I would ly to her and tell her I want a relationship with her just to get in her pants.
Author:  thatdude156 [ Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
lionel have u ever felt bad about playing a woman? A very nice woman?
Ey dude156, first of all I don't want to pretend like I am a smooth guy. I also have AA. But I have less AA than I used to have. And I am still working at getting even more over my AA. I just gave you the things that I learned that helped me improving. I hope my advice will be useful for you. But advice is only useful if you go in the field and do something, now matter how silly and easy stuff you do.

I perfectly understand the moral dilema your having. In fact, I don't see a reason why you should have this dilema. If you see a girl you like and you are honest about your intentions with her, why would it be bad to play her ? It is OK to tell her you don't want to get into any relationship, but just go with the flow and see where life brings you. I would feel bad if I would ly to her and tell her I want a relationship with her just to get in her pants.
yeah, a very nice girl. its sad for me to see her get hurt
Author:  Wigster [ Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Like all the guys above said, but I am going to hit you with a slightly different angle. I have to because I am no PUA, but I AM confident.

I started my career in law about 14 years ago and I still remember my first day in court. Could barely speak, heart thumping in my chest so hard my vision was actually blurred - it actually does that!

But I had no choice. I had to go on and perform. And the next day. And the next.

It doesn't always feel like it is getting easier, but it does. Slowly but surely. 14 years on, and in court, believe me, I'm the legal equivalent of MPUA. In fact I made a positive position to diversify a few years back.

But here's a thing. A few years back I was asked to do a reading at a wedding. Scared the bejesus out of me. Same thing but different fall-out if I ballsed up. But I had also learned not just confidence but how to push through the anxiety and do it anyway.

So. Get out there and do the stuff that terrifies you.
Author:  Crypto [ Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Approaching over and over helps calm the fear of approaching, the fear is always there but you learn that it is ok to have the fear! Most people have the wrong mindset going into the conversation!

People think PUA and automatically think "I gotta say the right thing to get her to like me" or "I hope she likes me" or "I hope I don't screw this up". Don't worry about the end of the conversation before you even get to the beginning of it!

Do the first 2-4 days of the 30 day challenge over and over. Don't give up....It will get easier!


Crypto...
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