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| Its like theres a wall https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=131328 |
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| Author: | applesauce22 [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 8:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Its like theres a wall |
Its in my head and i know its there. I go to a pretty prestigious university, girl to guy ratio is like 4:1, complete PUA heaven. I know i have looks going for me too, 8s and 9s have told me I look like Jake Gyllenhaal, Anthoty Kedis, Johnny Depp when i have a moustache (seriously though i try to make myself Johnny Depp as my avatar and frame of mind). My problem is despite my looks and my growing convo skills i feel it nearly impossible to cold approach at school, i feel right away as though im bothering the girls and the polite thing to do is not talk to them, stupid i know. See, of the few situational openers ive done i have no problem, i fire right off. Fir instance last week i ended up talking to a HB 8 because i noticed some spelling mistakes on her essay. She fired off about how she had been distracted because her G pa died. I was able to turn her away from that got her talking about funner things, lots of kino now that i remember, didnt number close, stoopid i know. I want this to happen all the time though, but i just cant break through this mentality that i cant talk to girls as a purely cold approach. Also i kind of over think things, i overly interpret people reactions and body language and if i dont think they atleast enjoy my company then i assume they dislike me, pretty self defeating i know. Right now im trying to make my motto The worst thing that can happen is that you learn something. Im just gonna try and jump in with both feet and see where it lands me but any advice would be wonderful. |
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| Author: | AmazingArt [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Apple you got all the tools to success all your missing is self-esteem. Right now you think that girls are more important than you're and they're the prize. It's totally false. That's the perception the media creates for us but it's not true. Throughout the whole entire history of mankind woman desired men more than men desired woman. Think of caveman. A man was always able to protect himself because of his strength but woman couldn't therefore needing a man to protect them. So you have to know that you're the prize in this situation. The steps to raise your self-esteem is pretty simple. 1) Write down all your strengths and achievements on a paper and read it in private out load to yourself every single day. You have to realize how good you are. Yes you might have negatives like not confident but that doesn't take away from your accomplishments. 2) From now on instead of thinking "ohh, this probably wont work for me" think instead "this will work". Don't think negatively of yourself. Some guys can be so successful but the fact that they think negative of themselves prevents them from reaching success. 3) Whenever you do accomplish something with a girl for ex: a date, a good convo, or things not related to girls you should reward yourself and take time to think how good you were. So when you feel you accomplished something reward yourself. The main thing is to not take things too seriously. Have fun approaching girls talking to them and feel relaxed all the time there's nothing more attractive than that. Good luck! |
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| Author: | applesauce22 [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 10:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the tips man. You hit the nail on the head though, self-esteem is a pretty big issue for me. My appearance may be different but inside im still that fat kid who got made fun of. Im only finally changing the mindset that when i hear someone laugh they arent laughing at me. Changing my mind set has been a big focus, girls want to have fun, i want to have fun, whats the big deal? The thing you mentioned about focusing on the good is something ive begun to do, for sometime i only focused on the bad. Im gonna make it my goal to talk to atleast 10 different girls this week, even if its just a hi and a smile. Thanks for the confidence boost Art! |
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| Author: | eduardo2 [ Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
you may think this is pretty cheesy but have you tried going for positive affirmations? like writing a bunch of compliments to yourself so you can say it about you out loud? if not, and you do it for a few months these stuff stick in your mind. also, visualization is a cool tool too, if you vividly imagine yourself being the hotshot, good looking man you are. if you change your mindset you'll reflect this outside and girls can sense it. not all of them would bounce all over you, but you want women to be attracted to you, spice up your day to day conversations with some sexy jokes and have a dating reputation at college. maybe this can help |
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| Author: | applesauce22 [ Sun Apr 01, 2012 5:16 pm ] |
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ive done the affirmations thing before but not consistently, its something i know i need to dedicate myself too. Ive been opening girls fairly casually over the past week. I noticed i absolutely need to say hi within the first 3 seconds or i dont sound confident or natural. If i stand around and over think i ramble and just push through my sentences but if its out of the blue im confident relaxed and my body language is explosive. Its funny now that i realized this |
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| Author: | eduardo2 [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 6:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
here's another tip that works for me. sometimes i fumble the talk or it does not go my way, so i say it like it is: "you know? , I've totally messed this up, you seemed cute so I wanted to talk to you to see if there's more than just your pretty face..." and than maybe the conversation will take a new angle. you can always go back to a closing like "and u know what? we can meet up, I'll buy you a glass of water or something.." and usually that does the trick for me and changes the environment from an awkward situation to something better. If you lose your control, you can admit it, that's a powerful tool too because girls are so crazed about their self-confidence too. even harsher |
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