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GUYS WITH NO AA PLEASE SHARE WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR MIND
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Author:  JACKAL RONIN J000 [ Mon Jan 16, 2012 2:45 pm ]
Post subject:  GUYS WITH NO AA PLEASE SHARE WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR MIND
CAN GUYS WITH NO AA OR VERY LITTLE SHARE WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR MIND.

Cold Approaching.

Please do not copy and paste the obvious advice that u can find. I wanna know what really confident guys are saying inside their heads, that's if they are saying anything at all.

I am not a newbie. I have done 100 sets in 1 night. That was a mission I had set myself. I cannot see why I cannot be motivated to do this all the time. I felt not stopping between set did not give my brain time to resist. I enjoy the interactions, but the approach part, I get tonnes of bullshit reasons to not do it.

My brain likes to perform in front of friends but not on my own, it cannot rationalize the approach.
Author:  [deleted] [ Mon Jan 16, 2012 4:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey there,
I think everyone has AA to some extent. I used to have it more but I have very little anxiety these days. Here are a couple things I did at first to get over it:

1) Imagine the worse case scenario before approaching. When you realize that the worse thing that can happen is the girl ignores you or someone laughs at you, it's not that bad. You feel like you can handle it.
2) Expect the girl to blow me off. I would tell myself over and over that my ego has to die. I would walk up to the girl expecting to get rejected. That makes things much easier.
3) Also you really have to train yourself to go with your gut instinct. The more you think about approaching the less likely you are actually going to approach. Because I have trained myself, approaching girls is very automatic these days.

Now however, when I approach a girl I am more or less just thinking about what I can do to keep her around and see her a second time. I also record my approaches so I know what happened and how many I have done. You do a lot more approaching when you keep records. Right now I am doing 10 approaches a week. This is the minimum number you have to do to get good with women.
Author:  JackBNimble [ Tue Jan 17, 2012 7:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Make it a competition. Get your wing, and make a bet on who can can approach and strike out with X HBs first.

Your only goal is to strike out. Approach, open, strikeout within 30s, eject gracefully.

You're going to have a good time just letting loose and failing in spectacular form, and at the same time desensitize yourself to rejection.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Fun fact: people and their opinions only have what power that you give them over you. Setting out with rejection as your intent takes that power away, gets you into the state you need.

Edit :
Told one HB I was having a strikeout contest with my buddy this weekend. Was a massive DHV spike, displaying total disregard for rejection. Another good friend of mine literally says "Not bad, yourself?" to every girl he passes in a club. Just dive in head first, and you'll be fine.
Author:  Lionel [ Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think it is a real pity people are not answering to the question of the OP. He didn't ask how to overcome AA. He asked what people without AA are thinking. So could you please only answer the question or not answer anything at all ?
Author:  JackBNimble [ Tue Jan 17, 2012 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
My mind is in a state where failure does not exist. Clearer?
Author:  JACKAL RONIN J000 [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:35 am ]
Post subject:  HI
Quote:
My mind is in a state where failure does not exist. Clearer?
Are u always like this.

Do have this attitude in all aspects of your life.

Is this a sober attitude.

I need to know if this is constant, because we all have good days and bad days

How did u get to this stage. were u always like this.

Please provide as much detail as possible, this is a question worth asking.

Do u feel look confident as well as feeling it.

Anyone else please feel free to pitch in, I feel this is the holy grail.

Most naturals or confident guys can rarely explain what they do.
Author:  7000 [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
It is tricky to explain. A lot of the time I haven't really got anything going on in my head. Probably I would say that that is because I have sort of trained myself not to fret the outcome. Now, I can go into a conversation with anyone, for the sake of conversation, if you know what I mean. I'm not thinking "oh I need to talk about this", or "oh I should use this opener".

Really all I'm thinking is that she is someone I would like to talk to. That's it. Then I go and talk to her.

But in the first place to get to that sort of place where you're not worrying about the outcome, I would say a lot of it is practice. And when you're practicing, there will be thoughts in there. It's just a matter of getting over those thoughts, and when you've approached enough, you start to realise (and you have to realise it yourself, not juts because someone has told you on here) that the outcome doesn't matter as such. You'll either close, or she'll blow you out. Either way, it's not a major deal, and when you know that, you sort of empty your mind about the doubts etc.

That's my take on it anyway.
Author:  where_is_my_mind [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm pretty sure I used to have slight AA. It manifested itself as thoughts going through my head about all the likely outcomes. In fact, the analytical/critical approach I normally take when studying I also applied on approaching women. This led to myself thinking in for example the following way:

- I arrived here alone at this party, she might think I am a lonely stranger
- If I tell her about the stuff I do in daily life, she might mark me as a weirdo and tell her friends, too
- The people around her might be "protecting" her, giving me no chance to ever approach her.

You can well imagine that I got totally fed up with this. And if I could manage to strike up a conversation, it felt so forced. So what I did was trying to find a way to empty my mind, not think about ANY likely outcome except that rejection was there anyway when I would not approach her. If there would not be an outcome, or the girl would behave beyond my capacities of negging her (which can always happen if you set the bar too high) I would go away, neglect her or something similar. These were actually really simple measures that required no deep thinking like (what opener do I have to use, what should I say to make me look less stupid). By approaching her friends first, it would also feel much less awkward.

Although I still experience AA sometimes (apparently, this is natural) I more and more get the feeling that my approaches are natural and relaxed. So, what goes to my mind are not thoughts that are a critical analysis of what bad things could happen, but more the oppurtunities that I have when talking to a girl.
Author:  black_hat [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hey there,
I think everyone has AA to some extent. I used to have it more but I have very little anxiety these days. Here are a couple things I did at first to get over it:

1) Imagine the worse case scenario before approaching. When you realize that the worse thing that can happen is the girl ignores you or someone laughs at you, it's not that bad. You feel like you can handle it.
2) Expect the girl to blow me off. I would tell myself over and over that my ego has to die. I would walk up to the girl expecting to get rejected. That makes things much easier.
3) Also you really have to train yourself to go with your gut instinct. The more you think about approaching the less likely you are actually going to approach. Because I have trained myself, approaching girls is very automatic these days.

Now however, when I approach a girl I am more or less just thinking about what I can do to keep her around and see her a second time. I also record my approaches so I know what happened and how many I have done. You do a lot more approaching when you keep records. Right now I am doing 10 approaches a week. This is the minimum number you have to do to get good with women.
I think you contradicted urself a bit here..
in 1 you say think about the worst cenario, and 3, go without thinking..

but I think 3 is the best..

think 1 at home.. lol
Author:  rakeal [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Who cares if you have AA. I remember one time I saw a 10 eye me up. I said to my friend. Watch this. I'm going to get her number. I was scared shitless because 1. she was a 10 and 2. My friends were watching me. I started talking to her about getting something for my mother for mothers day. Great opener by the way. I was telling the truth actually. Another part of my style is real honesty you feel less anxiety when you feel you aren't trying to pull something over on her and that you have something to offer. That's probably the key there. Why would you be anxious about giving value? Anyway, I actually left then came back and said: "Look, I'm actually in a huge hurry. Give me your number and I'll take you out." She laughed and immediately went to get a pen. I was so nervous at that point that it worked. lol. My knees started to give out on me and I literally had to use my arms to support myself. But I fought through it and thought to myself. "Who cares, this is fun! I feel alive!!!". That's when I noticed. She was trying to write her number down but kept getting it wrong and scribbling everywhere. She went so far as to write her name, cell and home number. All with a bunch of scribles. I looked at her hand while she was typing and lone behold, SHE WAS SO NERVOUS THAT SHE COULDN'T WRITE PROPERLY. She was trembling. It was quite the moment. I grabbed her number and literally ran away. lol.
Author:  Sam Mac [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I'm pretty sure I used to have slight AA. It manifested itself as thoughts going through my head about all the likely outcomes. In fact, the analytical/critical approach I normally take when studying I also applied on approaching women. This led to myself thinking in for example the following way:

- I arrived here alone at this party, she might think I am a lonely stranger
- If I tell her about the stuff I do in daily life, she might mark me as a weirdo and tell her friends, too
- The people around her might be "protecting" her, giving me no chance to ever approach her.
I find I used to have the same mindset, and sometimes these thoughts still fly around in my head...but i try to reframe them

-Rather than think "I arrived here alone at this party, she might think I am a lonely stranger" I think "I arrived here alone at this party, that makes her intrigued"

-Rather than think "If I tell her about the stuff I do in daily life, she might mark me as a weirdo and tell her friends, too" I think "If I tell her about the stuff I do in daily life, it makes me confident in the way I live"

-Rather than think "The people around her might be "protecting" her, giving me no chance to ever approach her" I think "The people around her will like me, and that will give me peer approval"

Try to reframe all of your negative beliefs like this and see if it helps
Author:  Donston [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 8:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I lower my success criteria to solely open girls. That even though they reject me, I've accomplished my goal of just opening. Lowering your success criteria reduces the fear and provides positive momentum. If you have high goals like getting a number, or taking a girl home, then the fear is increased. Plus, if you don't accomplish those high goals then you get disappointed and give yourself negative momentum.

If you have a wingman you can shift your goals to playing games. For example give 20 bucks to your wing and every approach is 5 bucks back. Therefore to get you money back you must approach 4 times. This shifts your goals from approaching girls to getting your money back.

Or your wing can count down from 30 seconds for you to approach anyone, once that 30 second has expired, he punches you. This shifts your goals from approaching girls to not getting punched.

Basically, what I'm thinking is to have small easy to achieved goals. This results in decreasing my approach anxiety and always be building up momentum to reach state!

Hope I was of help!

Sincerely,

Donston
Author:  meetjoeblack [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:23 am ]
Post subject: 
I guess I am just not shy and talking to people I find fun. I never really had cold approach. I worked with my dad in sales before the accident that ended his and my sister's life. I been rusty with game since, this issue brought on depression, and made me alienate myself. I was mad with god and with girls to cause, after getting day 2s, dates, numbers, a sex life, I was really lonely when I lost my family. Its taught me to be stronger and not to rely on anyone. I realize I will eventually have better game then I ever did before and I will be a much stronger man. After you speak about someone like your dad and sister in front of everyone by yourself for a eulogy, there is nothing to be afraid of every again. I did it like a man, I was nervous, and I waited till I went home, and I cried. I am fighting the tears back right now as I type this. It is hard to be a man but, men shouldn't cry. I love my sister and dad and I take back every time I ever got mad at them.
Author:  mostjuanted [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Everyone has AA but what goes on in my head is this little speech:

ARE YOU HERE TO GET THE GIRL? OR ARE YOU HERE TO GET THE SKILL?
EITHER WAY ITS A WIN WIN SITUATION SO WHY DOES APPROACHING EVEN MATTER? REJECTION HAS NO EFFECT ON YOUR LIFE WHATSOEVER! DONT LET FEAR CONTROL YOUR LIFE, FEAR IS AN ILLUSION, DONT LET ILLUSIONS HOLD YOU BACK FROM ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS!

I have it written down in my wallet and whenever AA starts kicking in real bad; ill read it; and I end up just approaching! :)

saw a video of pua DJ Fuji recommending something like this; works for me.
Author:  Ezo [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 5:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
I dont get AA.

For a simple reason, it doesnt matter if I win or fail. Its just another set.

What goes through my mind is basically "Hm, 3 set, which one do I like the best?"
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