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Help! HB leaves me miserable
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Author:  Mungo [ Fri Jul 23, 2010 6:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Help! HB leaves me miserable

I'm pretty new to this PUA thing. Over the last few years, my confidence has gradually grown stronger, making me more attractive to girls, so sure, I've met girls every now and then. However, it's not until I started studying venusian arts that I started to feel really confident.

I thought, of course, that being able to pick up more girls would be the best thing that could ever happen to me. I've been struggling with a bit of one-itis in the past, I guess because whenever I found someone who liked me back, I subconsciously thought that I had to take the opportunity to make the most out of it. Breaking up was therefore a hard thing to do. Now, I feel like I can get someone new pretty quickly, so it's not such a big deal to lose someone.

At least thats what I thought. Until now.

First of all, there is the problem that, even if I think that I don't need to get too serious with a girl, that I should not make any strong bonds with anyone and just keep playing the field even when I'm seeing someone, I can't really help developing feelings for them. I suppose it helps a little to have someone else to go to if one girl let you down, but not as much as I thought.

Sleeping with someone to forget is just like drinking to forget. I plan to do both tonight, even though it really doesn't solve anything.

Yes, there is this girl that I've been dating for a while. I thought I could see her without getting too attached. I even planned to leave her after the summer, as I'm about to move. I was gonna tell her so too, and hope for us to just keep having fun for as long as it lasted. It would be easy. I didn't care.

Yeah right.

Before I got around to talking to her, she started acting funny. She made excuses not to see me ("I need to sleep, working really early tomorrow", then her facebook status would go something like "Crazy party yesterday" the next day), she started being really unfriendly on the phone and the only time she called to see me was when she wanted someone (not me, someone) to comfort her when she was sad.

I tried freezing her out, but with no success - it just lead to us not seeing or talking to each other at all. Being a sucker, I was always the one to give in. I was turning AFC for her.

So, decided to have a talk - saying something like this: "I wasn't looking for anything serious here, I just liked hanging out with you. I'm even gonna leave pretty soon. But we could have had fun together. However, you blew it. I'm not the kind of guy that you can use for a plan B if all your other friends are busy. I deserve and demand that you're straight with me instead of making stupid excuses. If you have any interest of having me in your life, you're blowing it big time. I couldn't care less about a girl who acts the way you do."

Some of that stuff sound a bit AFC, but on the other hand:

1) Making a stand and showing that I don't take this kind of shit may actually serve as DHV
2) I'm honestly sick of it. I WANT to make a stand
3) If I blow it by being AFC, maybe that's for the best anyway. Either she responds the way that I hope she does, or we're absolutely and positively through. I don't think I can take much more game with this one.

So, I called her the day before yesterday, to arrange for a meeting to talk to her. However, I just told her that I wanted to meet. She dissed me! "Well, I'll have to see, first and foremost I need to make sure I survive work and my life in general". Facebook has clearly stated that this means going out both yesterday and tonight, both times on a whim.

She also said "I'll call you tomorrow", but of course, she didn't.

Well, that's pretty much it. I'm being so AFC right now, so please help me get straight with my problem.

Author:  Mungo [ Fri Aug 20, 2010 11:38 am ]
Post subject: 

Well, I'm over it now. :D And what's more, I feel that, after freezing her out and running into her a few times, and casually conversing a few times with one of her best male friends who works at a coffee place that I frequent, I feel like I have the upper hand again. I don't care, but I get the sensation that she does care after the time that I met her in a hamburger restaurant late at night and picked up some realy cheap scores:

OK, so this girl once told me that she started to believe she was developing an alcohol problem, so she said she would stay off drinking for a while. This was right before she started acting funny. Instead, she started going out short to every fucking night. Good job...

So I met her in the hamburger restaurant.

Me: Heeey, how nice to se you!
She: Hi! How are you doing?
Me: Not bad at all, so what's going on tonight?
She: I'm going out sober tonight, still having so much fun.
Me: Proud of ya! So, how's everything going?
She: Well, I'm on the sick for my kidneys.
Me: What's with your kidneys?
She: Well, I bashed them..

And here it comes.. Cheap, I know. But it felt good, she had it coming and she needs to hear it:

Me: Okeeey, keep staying sober then! (hand on her shoulder) Really nice to meet you, gotta go back to my friends! (take off)

Next time I ran into her, I could sense that she was hung up on this conversation. I feel good about it. Even tho it was cheap, I think I'm the only one in her life who says the uncomfortable things that she needs to hear. I even have a theory that maybe that's the reason why she pushed me away - she seems to surround herself with self-destructive people and people who won't say no to her.

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