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So how long do grudges last anyway...?
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Author:  anthrohahacock [ Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:01 am ]
Post subject:  So how long do grudges last anyway...?
This really has nothing to do with anything PUA related, hence why I put this in the Miscellaneous board. I know I'm about to get all "Yahoo Answers" on you guys, but I'm looking for male advice on this subject.

Basically, I'm an insecure dude, more or less (I'm working on it!). I live with one of my best friends here in my apartment & she and I (yes, she's a girl) were super close. Apparently she has this thing about getting too close to friends (We had talked about this before), so she inadvertently shied away from me recently. This has me all confused, since I thought everything was going well. So I try to talk to her and see what's up. Then I ask again, and so on. I didn't realize that I'd been pestering her, since I don't really catch on to my shit quickly, and now she's just straight up cold & ignoring me. Basically I feel like an outcast in my own apartment, and I'm pretty sure that I'm the last person she wants to see right now.

I haven't seen her in about a week, due to the Thanksgiving holiday, but I have no idea what mindset she's in now. Maybe her being away from me helped, or maybe it didn't. I'm wondering if there's honestly anything else I could do. Confronting her will only make things worse. Anyone ever deal with a similar type situation, where you fucked things up with a friend or girl or whatever without realizing it?
Author:  MHFenix [ Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
god yeah, I do it all the time.

My advice; tell her straight up that you understand and that she can talk to you when she needs to and then just drop it. don't ever mention it again unless she brings it up.

I usually find that it's something about being hurt or betrayed whenever you form an emotional attachment, if she ever does open up to you, just tell her you would never betray her trust and again drop it.

In a nutshell: Don't ask questions, tell her something hard and factual. "I understand and if you need to, you can talk to me." *walk away* then wait. she may open up, she may not. Roll with it.
Author:  J-Dub [ Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. Move out...If you don't you will stay in the 'Friend Zone'. But try to move out on good terms.

2. Stop being her friend. Let her initiate the conversation and phonecalls. She might and then again she might not.

3. Start seeing other girls. You are stuck on her and she knows it. Which is bad for you cause she thinks you are needy.

4. Start seeing other girls (I know I already said this).
Quote:
Apparently she has this thing about getting too close to friends (We had talked about this before), so she inadvertently shied away from me recently
What I find is that once a girl has something stuck in their head or believes in something like the above quote, it will be VERY difficult if not IMPOSSIBLE for you to change her mind.

So, with that said, it is what it is, so you should move on before more damage happens.

Best,

J-Dub
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