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Friend stops talking to me after she get bf.
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Author:  nrjose27 [ Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Friend stops talking to me after she get bf.
I remember I used to be close with this one girl, but when she got herself a bf, all of my connections with her ceased to exist. She doesn't call or text me anymore, and if we're both eating in the same venue, she doesn't approach me to say hi because she's eating with her bf. It's as if we never met in the first place :(

I don't have one-ities because I've stopped chasing her. I've moved on. I got other bitches under my belt.

I've stopped communicating with her on all levels because, shit, what's the whole point of it all? I can't fuck her cuz she's taken, which means I'm doing counterproductive things if I tried seducing her, like chasing wind - it's gonna lead me nowhere. She's too busy spending her time and energy on her bf. Usually, when girls get bf's, they still talk to their friends because they need a social circle to convey status, but in my case, she's stopped talking to me, and that's the problem I don't understand. What does it mean???
Author:  Robby [ Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend stops talking to me after she get bf.
Ask her?
Author:  Donny G [ Thu Jan 10, 2013 6:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend stops talking to me after she get bf.
Unfortunately this happens with girls. They get boyfriends and are no longer able to manage their male friendships as they fear aggravating the new boyfriend. Call her on it. In a text, start off with "hello stranger". Then just ask her straight. She will probably come with a pretty standard response "I'm sorry. I know I have been bad. I'll make time for you soon, I promise".

Don't take it to heart. You're still friends, its just you can't be close while she has a fella.
Author:  nrjose27 [ Fri Jan 11, 2013 7:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend stops talking to me after she get bf.
Quote:
Unfortunately this happens with girls. They get boyfriends and are no longer able to manage their male friendships as they fear aggravating the new boyfriend. Call her on it. In a text, start off with "hello stranger". Then just ask her straight. She will probably come with a pretty standard response "I'm sorry. I know I have been bad. I'll make time for you soon, I promise".

Don't take it to heart. You're still friends, its just you can't be close while she has a fella.
Alright, so this is how the text conversation went:

Me: "Hey, stranger."
Her: "Hey. Whats up"
Me: "Just got back from the city with a couple of friends."
Her: "Ive been here all week. On the subway lol"
Me: "I know you got your hands tied cuz of [bf name], but I'd like us to catch up like old times. Maybe sometime after classes start?"

How's my bolded response? I've sent the "Hey, stranger" text just last night, and the last time I texted her was 17 December. (In the time period between, neither of us texted each other.) She hasn't responded yet, but if she really wants to ignore me and treat me like shit, then it's her problem, not mine.
Author:  Donny G [ Mon Jan 14, 2013 2:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend stops talking to me after she get bf.
Just to confirm, you sent that response?

I would have gone with a bit of gentle humour designed to make her feel guilty. Something along the lines of "You so busy you have no time for me nowadays lol.

But she sounds like she doesn't care. Which sucks.

Girls are F*cked up, man. As she is just a friend, you can tell it how it is. I would just text my female friends like "I never hear from you anymore, what's up with that?". But I am known for my honesty and frankness.

It is her loss. She will come running back when things go sour. It is how things work. She just can't have two close males in her life. She can't manage them.
Author:  nrjose27 [ Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend stops talking to me after she get bf.
Yeah, I did send the the text, and guess what: She still didn't respond! I was just trying to be friendly with her, but like you've said, she's giving me zero[\i] fucks. I think that the only time she's ever going to talk to me is when her relationship is in trouble, but what am I, her relationship counsellor?

Plus, if I tried to make her feel guilty, I think it'll send her the sense that I'm being needy, therefore spending my free time trying to get her attention.

I also did call one of my good female friends about this matter, and she said the same thing: When girls get boyfriends, they tend to avoid talking to their other male friends so as to not upset the boyfriend. It's childish, to say the least. But at some point in the future, I'll see her, then she'll see me, and the only thing left for me to do is just ignore her, just like how she ignored me. There are other HBs in the Field, and spending time and energy chasing one babe really isn't worth the prize.
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