PUA Forum :: How not to feel AFC in a club?

Thanks for the advice, some lame stuff, but mostly very good stuff.

I wrote this after coming home from a club on a below average night.

So you are standing there with your buddies after they ordered drinks, you look around for sets, but there are like 75% dudes, and there isn't anything over a HB6 in the entire place.

So maybe this isn't a time to think about sarging and instead just enjoy the time with your friends? They are just AFCs.

---- After reading the comments, I think that maybe its best to try to find 1 wing man, who is not AFC or go out alone.

Question :

In this situation, already losing value, is it better to just leave and try to find a different place?

Whats the best way to enter a place like this? Just open each group and spreading accross the bar/club until you've talked to everyone? Once you've opened every group in the place, then you'll know if there is anyone worth pursuing or not.

Author:	AdamVanWildest [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 2:20 am ]
Post subject:	How not to feel AFC in a club?
I know i'm supposed to open sets, but it seems like the last few nights i've been getting the same scenarios. I goto the club with my same 2 friends. We walk in, they get drinks and then we kinda stand around the bar. I'm thinking I should go open sets, but its pretty loud and crowded in a small place. So I just stand there with my buddies and feel so AFC that I just want to leave the club and go home. Advice?

Author:	Raykast [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:38 am ]
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Read Mystery Method.... 3 second rule.... it works

Author:	Methuselah [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:44 am ]
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Roll this thought over in your mind for a few minutes. Try to imagine a few things for me...okay? The average human being lives about 26,000 days, if he/she is healthy, lucky, smart, and a whole slew of other factors. 26,000 days. That is it. 75 years. Next time your standing around at the bar wishing you were doing something. Think about that. Don't let the day slip away. And...grow some cahones!

Author:	RooksMgook [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:06 am ]
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you go out... go to a bar..order ur drinks..and stand there doing nothing...you should feel like a chump. if the bars too loud to talk to someone, find a new place to be. ur best bet if ur trying to pick a girl up is to talk to her first

Author:	The Doctor [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 7:04 am ]
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Quote: Roll this thought over in your mind for a few minutes. Try to imagine a few things for me...okay? The average human being lives about 26,000 days, if he/she is healthy, lucky, smart, and a whole slew of other factors. 26,000 days. That is it. 75 years. Next time your standing around at the bar wishing you were doing something. Think about that. Don't let the day slip away. And...grow some cahones! Fuckin A! Also you may need to think about going out by yourself or with diffrent people when your wanting to sarge. I think we all have AFC friends... but you learn after awhile that though you may have fun with those guys, you don't want to be hanging around them when your sarging. If for some reason thats not an option, then your just gunna have to man up and leave them at the bar when you go sarge and astonish them that you can actually talk to girls. Eventually they may get fired up and want to help... then you can introduce them to the arts and make proper wings of them.

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Author:	AdamVanWildest [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:38 pm ]
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Thanks for the advice, some lame stuff, but mostly very good stuff. I wrote this after coming home from a club on a below average night. So you are standing there with your buddies after they ordered drinks, you look around for sets, but there are like 75% dudes, and there isn't anything over a HB6 in the entire place. So maybe this isn't a time to think about sarging and instead just enjoy the time with your friends? They are just AFCs. ---- After reading the comments, I think that maybe its best to try to find 1 wing man, who is not AFC or go out alone. Question : In this situation, already losing value, is it better to just leave and try to find a different place? Whats the best way to enter a place like this? Just open each group and spreading accross the bar/club until you've talked to everyone? Once you've opened every group in the place, then you'll know if there is anyone worth pursuing or not.

Author:	Artist617 [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:47 pm ]
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BEST thing you could do is JUST HAVE FUN dont think about approaching a girl. I know this might sound stupid but you are right get into that mode. Dont just think about picking up girls that will come naturally believe me on that. Learn some material and when you do talk to a girl you will see what everything means. Body language learn that. Then just be yourself talk to her about shit that you and your friend is talking about. Damn there is so many dudes in here so me and my friend is talking about this and i think he is........ make her talk about what ever subject yall is talking about. JUST HAVE FUN and BUG OUT when girls see this they will follow! Artist

Author:	Alphagame [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 3:27 pm ]
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Ermorden, Here is my advice and it's good advice. Going out with friends can be really helpful because after you get a girl interested in you, if you're the leader of your friends, she'll sense that and you'll get some attraction points. Plus, you look like you have good social skills. The problem is, when you go out with your friends, your friends become your comfort zone. It's much harder to approach women when you're in your comfort zone. Another risk you run when sarging with friends is, they may make fun of you if you approach a set and get blown out, which only adds more approach anxiety to the problem. Sarging alone is critical. When you sarge alone, you walk into the bar and you don't know anyone. You're out of your comfort zone the minute you walk in the place, which is good. That's where you need to be. I recommend opening up an all male set first. This gets you into a social, conversational mood. The nice thing about doing this is, other people in the bar don't know you're there alone. They assume the guys you're talking to are your friends. And they are, they're just your new friends that you'll probably never see again. After you get into the conversational mood, find a set and approach. If you get blown out, you can re-enter the previous set...the all male set. That's a million times better than standing around the bar by yourself looking like a desperate loser. Personally, I think the three second rule is bullshit. I guess if you are totally new to sarging and talking to women, it may not be a bad rule, but I never follow it. Once you realize that you can sarge alone, then when you go out with friends, you don't keep them as your only comfort zone. You walk in with friends, but immediately start opening sets...even all male sets...your friends look up to this because you are being social. When you do meet a woman and introduce her to your friends, she'll sense that your friends look up to you and she'll be that much more attracted. As Mystery says, lead the men and the women will follow. I make it a point to go out alone at least once a week. Sometimes I totally don't even feel like it, but I think this is critical practice to keep your social skills in tune. Another HUGE advantage of sarging solo is more often than not, your friends will screw you over by approaching a set you've opened and blow it for you. Or they'll hit on your target. There's a bazillion different things that your friends will do to destroy your sets. When you're alone, you don't have these problems. One last piece of advice: When you see a set you'd like to open, a mixed or all female set, DO NOT make eyes at them after the first round of eye play. If you catch her checking you out, that's fine. Hold eye contact until she looks away. But DO NOT look back in her direction again until you decide to approach. Making eyes from across the bar and not approaching will usually come off as creepy. Either get over there and approach immediately or ignore her until you decide to approach.

Author:	AdamVanWildest [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 3:34 pm ]
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Thanks AlphaGame. Pefect Advice.

Author:	L.A. Tripp [ Tue Oct 30, 2007 8:55 pm ]
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Quote: Thanks for the advice, some lame stuff, but mostly very good stuff. I wrote this after coming home from a club on a below average night. So you are standing there with your buddies after they ordered drinks, you look around for sets, but there are like 75% dudes, and there isn't anything over a HB6 in the entire place. So maybe this isn't a time to think about sarging and instead just enjoy the time with your friends? They are just AFCs. ---- After reading the comments, I think that maybe its best to try to find 1 wing man, who is not AFC or go out alone. Question : In this situation, already losing value, is it better to just leave and try to find a different place? Whats the best way to enter a place like this? Just open each group and spreading accross the bar/club until you've talked to everyone? Once you've opened every group in the place, then you'll know if there is anyone worth pursuing or not. 75% dudes, but how many of those dudes are alone? How many are standing around wishing a chick would open them? Forget about the dudes. Hell, talk to the loners. See if they are there to pick up girls. If so, maybe you'll find a better wing than your friends are anyway. Some of Mystery's best wings came from guys he talked to IN the club. And, who CARES if the girls aren't above a 6? TALK TO THEM ANYWAY. You always need the practice. It helps to calibrate. I'll talk to a girl, whether she's a 10 or a 4, I don't care. It helps the social skills and helps to calibrate. It also builds social proof. You're NOT doing yourself any good with the mindset you have on this issue. And yes, if you're social value has already just completely bottomed out, I say you might as well find another place for the night, but from what you are saying, you CAN prevent that from happening. I've had that happen to me once recently, and I did just leave, but it was after basically a serious disagreement in the club with me and the girl that was my current g/f. I DID have social proof, but my mindset was not right. I had THREE HOT girls checking me out and my mindset was blown so I didn't open them. After that, I knew it was over for me there for the night. Because at that point I was about as AFC as I could get. Standing on the dance floor, STANDING NOT DANCING, trying to loosen up and dance and get my mind straight. Standing along the edge of the dance floor at that. I was gone.

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