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Dealing With The Breakup
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Author:  Ziggy [ Wed Oct 24, 2007 11:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Dealing With The Breakup
My HB10 model girlfriend broke up with me this past Sunday. I went through several stages. The first one was acceptance and trying to play it cool and DHV myself so that she would take it all back. Then it turned into me saying hurtful things, genuinely hurting her to the point where I've DLV'd myself past the point of no return. Then I went through the denial stage where I did everything I possibly could to convince her and show her that we were going to turn this around. Finally she just hammered the final nail in the coffin and it is without a doubt over. And it hurts. A LOT. This was my first truly 10+ girlfriend, and not only that -- she was a great person and we were madly in love.

Aside from the "keep sarging" advice, is there anything you've found that really helps in the "forget and move on" process. At this point, it is nearly impossible for me to stop thinking about her and the relationship we had.
Author:  Satyr [ Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
try to be very active. work hard, sport hard.
Author:  Ka [ Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
You could always cut yourself...

...or you could realize that you dont need her. You ARE your own person and were making her a better person by allowing her to be in your world.

She is no more special then any other girl.

David Deangelo i think says something along the lines of...

"She is not a unique snowflake..."

Im sure someone can post the quote.


Overcome your sorrow by being overlly social and meeting new and intresting people, as opposed to wallowing in your own self pitty.

gl
Author:  Aceospades12 [ Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeah dude i went through a real tough break-up about 9 months ago

i got over it by focusing on all the bad things about her
delving into music
spending more time with friends and fam
taking a vacation with friends
then discovering the community and sarging more girls

u have to be optimistic and see the good with everything life throws u

what have u wanted to do but couldnt because u were spending so much time with her b4? GO DO IT

turn it into a positive

the worst thing u can do is sit by urself asking why and having regrets or hating urself etc.

fuck that
ur a PUA dude - ull get over it (not at first but realize u WILL)

You met and were together for a reason; be it fate, destiny ,God, or whatever. And it ended for a reason. You are different now. Better. They made you better. You have grown. You have finished learning whatever it was you were supposed to learn from that person and the universe is telling you that. It's time to face what's in store for you next. To learn something else from someone else, or learn something from being alone at this particular time in your life. The scariest thing was feeling that I had forgotten how to be alone, or live my life alone, or face my future alone. Try to remember that this is your life and they were a part of it, not that they or your relationship was your life.

and whatever u do NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN (trust me - makes it worse and itll take longer to get over)

u said it urself
Quote:
it is without a doubt over
now just start getting over it dude - u will

one quote i like a lot "live each day of your life"
i took that to heart
i realized that every second i wasted thinking about her or "us" was literally a waste of my life because i KNEW we would never be together again!

need any more help pm me

cheers man
Author:  Ziggy [ Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You met and were together for a reason; be it fate, destiny ,God, or whatever. And it ended for a reason. You are different now. Better. They made you better. You have grown. You have finished learning whatever it was you were supposed to learn from that person and the universe is telling you that. It's time to face what's in store for you next. To learn something else from someone else, or learn something from being alone at this particular time in your life. The scariest thing was feeling that I had forgotten how to be alone, or live my life alone, or face my future alone. Try to remember that this is your life and they were a part of it, not that they or your relationship was your life.
That really resonated with me. I have been thinking about it pretty much non stop and I came upon those exact same thoughts late last night. I've grown a lot through my experience with her and I thanked her for that. I don't know if we will keep in touch. It's a very sad thing thinking our time together is over, but I don't see any other way around it. Life is funny. She is an amazing girl, and she was only meant to be in my life for a short amount of time. My standards for my next girlfriend have been set very high, that's for sure.

Thanks guys. Really appreciate it.
Author:  skittlepimp [ Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
this helped me and its real cool cause the whole thing can be read in like 20mins. it helped me with my 2year LTR

http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htm
Author:  Aceospades12 [ Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
That really resonated with me. I have been thinking about it pretty much non stop and I came upon those exact same thoughts late last night. I've grown a lot through my experience with her and I thanked her for that. I don't know if we will keep in touch. It's a very sad thing thinking our time together is over, but I don't see any other way around it. Life is funny. She is an amazing girl, and she was only meant to be in my life for a short amount of time. My standards for my next girlfriend have been set very high, that's for sure.

Thanks guys. Really appreciate it.

no problem man
glad i could help
thats what this forum is about

cheers
Author:  Advice [ Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:54 am ]
Post subject: 
take all that emotion of sadness, anger, depression and all else you're feeling and use it as motivation to better yourself... use it to work out, advance your career, bring your friends and family closer, improve your look or wardrobe and anything else you can channel it towards to better yourself... the more you stay busy the less time you'll have to sulk over it... sulking draws attention to yourself in a negative away, draw attention, but on your own terms... I know the "keep on sarging" has already been dropped on you but go sleep with a dozen girls and see how you feel then...
Author:  qpidred [ Fri Oct 26, 2007 10:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
this helped me and its real cool cause the whole thing can be read in like 20mins. it helped me with my 2year LTR

http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htm
To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose
under the heaven.

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.


beautiful :cry:
Author:  DanJE [ Fri Oct 26, 2007 10:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Get a new hair cut.

Buy some new clothes.

Join a gym.

Get a tan.

When she sees you continuing your life normally, continuing your physical and mental self-improvement, she will be jealous and regretful.

Even if she is not, you now have stepping stones to build on for getting on with it and meeting new people.
Author:  qpidred [ Fri Oct 26, 2007 10:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing With The Breakup
Quote:
My HB10 model girlfriend broke up with me this past Sunday. I went through several stages. The first one was acceptance and trying to play it cool and DHV myself so that she would take it all back. Then it turned into me saying hurtful things, genuinely hurting her to the point where I've DLV'd myself past the point of no return. Then I went through the denial stage where I did everything I possibly could to convince her and show her that we were going to turn this around. Finally she just hammered the final nail in the coffin and it is without a doubt over. And it hurts. A LOT. This was my first truly 10+ girlfriend, and not only that -- she was a great person and we were madly in love.

Aside from the "keep sarging" advice, is there anything you've found that really helps in the "forget and move on" process. At this point, it is nearly impossible for me to stop thinking about her and the relationship we had.
tell me what was the reason why she broke up with you....my ex soft pedaled it to me, just to be kind...meaning she didn't want to hurt my feeling's by saying that she didn't have feelings for me anymore instead that she was supposedly had some sort of feelings for me and I had a chance in the near future :?
Author:  Ziggy [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 6:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing With The Breakup
Quote:
Quote:
My HB10 model girlfriend broke up with me this past Sunday. I went through several stages. The first one was acceptance and trying to play it cool and DHV myself so that she would take it all back. Then it turned into me saying hurtful things, genuinely hurting her to the point where I've DLV'd myself past the point of no return. Then I went through the denial stage where I did everything I possibly could to convince her and show her that we were going to turn this around. Finally she just hammered the final nail in the coffin and it is without a doubt over. And it hurts. A LOT. This was my first truly 10+ girlfriend, and not only that -- she was a great person and we were madly in love.

Aside from the "keep sarging" advice, is there anything you've found that really helps in the "forget and move on" process. At this point, it is nearly impossible for me to stop thinking about her and the relationship we had.
tell me what was the reason why she broke up with you....my ex soft pedaled it to me, just to be kind...meaning she didn't want to hurt my feeling's by saying that she didn't have feelings for me anymore instead that she was supposedly had some sort of feelings for me and I had a chance in the near future :?
She soft pedaled me too. Saying she has feelings for me and believes I'm "the one" but it's never going to happen (Ouch!)

She's moved to New York to restart a modeling career she left last year and now she's "too independent" to keep a long distance relationship with me. Didn't even give me any options, just did the move and everything all on her own.

There are other reasons I don't want to discuss, but that's the jist of it.

Thanks for the help guys. I've been thinking about this a lot, and while there's still pain, I'm coming to grips with it a lot better than I have with past breakups.
Author:  Starbuck [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 2:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing With The Breakup
Quote:
Aside from the "keep sarging" advice, is there anything you've found that really helps in the "forget and move on" process. At this point, it is nearly impossible for me to stop thinking about her and the relationship we had.
You mean you were overwhelmingly infatuated with her, and you shared some great moments. So great from your perspective you wanted them to continue.

Obviously she didn't feel the same way. Or perhaps she found a higher bidder, and felt she could do better. Welcome to the world. :lol:

The 'forget and move on process'?

Yep.

Another girl.. And the realization that if you put your happiness in the hands of another person, or the choices they make you're going to be disappointed a lot.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=N7BmrewitiA[/youtube]
Author:  f0nx [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
it can be tough i kno what you're going through, the first thing advice im gona give you is just cut the bitch out, DO NOT KEEP IN TOUCH (for two reasons, a the less you know the better, b the less she knows the more shes going bugg out). As far as the soft pedaling goes DO NOT BELIEVE IT ITS LIES IF SHE HAS GENUINE FEELINGS FOR YOU SHE WOULD NOT BREAK UP WITH YOU, trust me i've made this mistake twice, let them lead me on and i ended up being a miserable mess for almost 2 years (because of 2 dif girls).

as far as getting rid of those feelings you have, well thats a bit of a dosey, one night stands wont help, sarging probably wont either I might be wrong here but in my experience only another girl in whom you can get emotionally invested will help you get rid of the feelings for you're ex.
Author:  Ziggy [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 9:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Well I went out tonight with two friends to clear my mind and enjoy myself. For the past few months, every single weekend has been busy, and for whatever reason this was the first Saturday in a long time where I had nothing planned. It was a bit depressing and I was worried I was going to spend the night at home dwelling on the breakup. Was really glad to hear my friends were going out so I jumped on that. They're both PUAs in training who I met at a Mehow seminar earlier in the month, so there was a big theme of "let's pick up". I haven't told them about my breakup and that I was just glad to be out and about. Had a really cool conversation with an older woman (I post about her in my Being Opened thread) who recently went through a breakup of her own. For whatever reason, talking to her gave me a sense of peace about things. Not sure if you can tell by my posts, but I'm getting very serene lately. LOL. But yea, so far so good. All the feedback has helped tons.
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