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LTR turning me into AFC, (sexless)
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Author:  ls_integra [ Sun Aug 26, 2007 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  LTR turning me into AFC, (sexless)
So ive had a gf for 3 years or so, and were both in our mid 20's. This is really AFC'ish, and I dont want to let it go on any longer, so im not putting up with it anymore.

My major problem, is that she isn't as sexual as I am. I'd be happy having sex 4+ times a week, but it ends up being more like 4 or less times a month. She has no problem giving me head all the time and stuff like that, but absolutely never wants anything in return. At first you might say, thats fine, just take the bj's and dont worry about it, but that gets boring IMO. She tries to use bj's and such in exchange for me giving her massages, which ultimately lead to her falling asleep.

Ive come up with various solutions to this problem, probably the best just being to not try having sex, and dont let her do anything to me, until shes ready to F#%k me. This may work, but what do you guys think? Is this out of my hands, and she's always gonna be this way?
Author:  Methuselah [ Sun Aug 26, 2007 5:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
It sounds like you've got a real problem on your hands here. It may be possible that she isn't a very sexual person, in which case you have to evaluate your situation and your feelings for her to see if its worth staying with her. This is entirely up to you, no-one can tell you what to do there.

However it also appears that, like you said, she is using the sexual favors and activities against you, as a means of getting what she wants. I would recommend that you just try to shut her out, be very cold to her and show no interest. If anything show that you are growing very bored of her, give her a few days with no contact at all. Appear very busy and unattached to her. When she does try to initiate a blowjob, which you can lead her up to by acting like you might want it, but then refuse it and act disinterested once again. Remain cocky, witty, and unattached throughout this period of time and see how she reacts to it. If it works, you will see her automatically try to initiate sex with you, in which case you should give in willingly.
Author:  EvoJ [ Mon Aug 27, 2007 2:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Meth is right. Teach her that if she is giving sexual favors for what she wants then you are gonna get the sexual favors that you want.
Author:  ls_integra [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 3:33 am ]
Post subject: 
kk im taking your guys advice. Im going to be as disinterested in sex/her as possible.
Author:  Romeo7 [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 4:45 am ]
Post subject: 
But do it brother.

One thing I wanna add

And I'll be damn to be wrong on this one,

It would suck to know that she is not enjoying the sex you're giving her, but it's most likely to be true.

When previous to sex, make her want it, beg you for it, don't be afraid to dirty talk with her.

You see, women want to be treated like ladies on the street

But like sluts on the bed.
Author:  ls_integra [ Tue Aug 28, 2007 3:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Its funny, she tried to place my hands on her back and her neck to get me to massage her a bunch of times, but when she did this, i just made my hands limp.
Author:  ls_integra [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:16 am ]
Post subject: 
So Ive got some more questions, after reading some of the "mystery method".


1. She's not interested in sleeping with me, but willing to give me head, and wants cuddling/massages. Is this an indicator that she's not interested in me, or is it simply she's just not that sexual?

2. Could it be that ive demonstrated too much value (or too little value)?

3. For the most part of our relationship we only had sex at the driveins for various reasons. My friends have recomended that we get a hotel room, but while that may be viable for a "hook-up" it would be too costly for an LTR. She seemed a bit more intersted at the driveins, should we try doing it there again?


Mainly, im just wondering if she's not sexual and its hopeless, or if there are other factors at play here? Did she just use sex in the early stages of the relationship to "reel me in"? And now she feels shes got me?
Author:  xLINKx [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Do you guys have your own places to live? You're not still at home?
Author:  ls_integra [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:19 am ]
Post subject: 
I am still at home. :( Im a student
Author:  EvoJ [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She seemed a bit more intersted at the driveins, should we try doing it there again?

Mainly, im just wondering if she's not sexual and its hopeless, or if there are other factors at play here? Did she just use sex in the early stages of the relationship to "reel me in"? And now she feels shes got me?
It is possible all those things are true. So, what you do is narrow down the playing field. Figure it out by a process of elimination. And make sure that you try each one more than once. I mean, hell, you have the time.

Also, see if she just needs some place more fun than the bedroom. Like maybe something more risky.

Narrow things down and figure it out. If you do it right, it is only a matter of time.

OR then again, you could just come out and ask her.. but that is freakin scary and you don't know if she will tell you the truth. Or do you?
Author:  Valmont [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
You ever tryed just talking to her about it?
I know a freeze out or some other routine is the kind of advice to rise from this forum but from my own experience it's gd to just chat with your LTR.
Maybe when your are walking through town together just wander in an Ann Summers (or other sex shop) and say 'ooooh this looks interesting'. If you buy something there, chances are she'll want to try it out. Could help to draw out whatever fantasies she may have.

Also one thing which could help. There is a type of contraceptive pill which kills a woman's sex drive. My LTR was on it for a while. it sucked.
Author:  ls_integra [ Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
we've already been to sex shops, and we're fairly open about this stuff, but she has really shut down.


I tried to mention something about birth control to her, and her response was "Im not worried about it." Thats what really got me wondering about this.
Author:  Charisma#1 [ Thu Aug 30, 2007 11:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
i came out of a very similar relationship last year, i just had it out with her and turns out she just had really low sex drive, thats how some people are, i got out as no point as i knew i would not spend the rest of my life with that situation.

I tend to get bored of the same pussy after 6 months anyway and move on :wink:

I would say confront her and then decide or you will go round in circles forever until you resent her for it, like i was getting towards
Author:  qpidred [ Sat Sep 01, 2007 8:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It sounds like you've got a real problem on your hands here. It may be possible that she isn't a very sexual person, in which case you have to evaluate your situation and your feelings for her to see if its worth staying with her. This is entirely up to you, no-one can tell you what to do there.

However it also appears that, like you said, she is using the sexual favors and activities against you, as a means of getting what she wants. I would recommend that you just try to shut her out, be very cold to her and show no interest. If anything show that you are growing very bored of her, give her a few days with no contact at all. Appear very busy and unattached to her. When she does try to initiate a blowjob, which you can lead her up to by acting like you might want it, but then refuse it and act disinterested once again. Remain cocky, witty, and unattached throughout this period of time and see how she reacts to it. If it works, you will see her automatically try to initiate sex with you, in which case you should give in willingly.
man damn i wish couldve gotten into PUA before hand:l
Author:  Difference [ Sat Sep 01, 2007 11:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Ok, most people are saying freeze out, go cold etc. Probably the best thing to do, although if that isn't working, and she's still getting you go give her massages, why not give a massage that will turn her on so much she'll be gagging to be banged? Look around, learn some sensual techniques, buy some massage oil or something. Body butter is nice.

Also, I wouldn't be doing the drive-in thing, at least not until you've built things back up. If you have a history of hooking up there, then it might be obvious to her that you're just trying to get some, which may turn her away.
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