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The Importance of Not Doing Anything
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Author:  Tao108 [ Thu May 14, 2009 1:27 am ]
Post subject:  The Importance of Not Doing Anything

A girl who works with me is, without a doubt, my one-itis.

For so long the thought of it would creep in to my mind but one day it was so apparent to me that I couldn't deny it.

I've been talking to this girl since November of '08. My sticking point? Definitely not pulling the trigger when I needed to. However I've learned that one of my strengths is being a comeback king. In other words, when things get a little dry and it seems like interest is dying out-- bam! -- I'll have days where it all gets rekindled and I'm back to where I need to be.

Anyways, lately it's been dying out (the worst it's ever been) and the lack of sarging, prospects, and social functions is severely hurting my game as far as energy, interesting topics, and confidence. So today I decided not to do anything at all. I was tired of stressing.

Well it turns out she kind of had the same idea in mind. She didn't visit me today like she does 99% of the time but it didn't bother me too much because I was going to do NOTHING.

The whole day she'd watch me from far away. She'd strategically stand behind a playground (I work at a school) and watch me (thinking she was hidden), a second time she'd watch me as I conversed with stories and positive energy to everyone in the room but her. Another time she was outside and she'd align herself with a doorway and watch me from far away because I was inside (when I caught her she quickly turned away), and the last time was at the end of the day when she lined up with the window of a door and was watching me talk to a teacher (I caught her movement, looked in her direction and she quickly moved).

It was all so funny because she was acting like a lot of the little girls that go to the same school. This reminded me that there is no difference between them and little girls. Girls that we game are just taller but they really act the same.

The one time we really did talk all day was when I walked in on her talking to another teacher. I paid attention only to the other teacher (even gave her kino) and the One-itis intentionally started talking to me and being extra sweet, then lightly teasing, and also calling me "stranger" (so my absence was apparent). I smiled, used a little C&F, reacted positively, but quickly left because, hey, I've got a lot of work to do!

(There's where I think a lot of people mess up. I've read a lot of people's field reports and when things don't go their way they get emotional. In the same situation, many asiring PUA's would've neglected and ignored harshly and arrogantly. I've learned this is not the answer. There's an art to ignoring! I was still a positive, playful, social person I was just... busy! Can't talk to you right now!)

Here was the true lesson in all this-- sometimes non action is the best course of action.

Experiencing it is very different than reading it, and me being philosophically Taoist, this lesson was especially profound to me. In one day there was a complete shift in the balance of power and frame. It was so apparent that I left work today as content as when I've run successful routines on her or when I've received flirtatious kino from her ...

And all I did was nothing.

Author:  870 [ Fri May 15, 2009 6:52 am ]
Post subject: 

Since this post wasn't about a sticking point, I moved your thread to the Lounge. Please post in the appropriate sections.

Your boy,
870

Author:  veryEnglish87 [ Fri May 15, 2009 10:00 am ]
Post subject: 

Really good post, there is a real art to doing 'nothing' and actually doing it well involves quite a lot ironically. Have had plenty of similar days myself when using a little cat-string or push-pull with girls at work.

Keep up the good work dude, and analyse exactly what made the day so successful so you can rinse and repeat when necessary. :)

Author:  Mr E [ Fri May 15, 2009 10:33 am ]
Post subject: 

Yes it is true.
it is good to ignore in a positive way- hadnt realised it.

I work in a school. loads of female teachers. one or two are pretty decent.

find I dont always have loads of conversation. but using jugglers idea of writing stuff down about your day to then use in a conversation is useful.

also, dont know when to cut thread and start a new one. with regards to the conversation, women reply to my questions but if I dont continue talking the whole thing just drops dead.

Gotta work out ways to get a little bit of conversation from the chics. So, I dont always have to be busting my balls carrynig the whole conversation all the time.

take it easy.and sorry if i have gone off subject guys.
women got me thiking 24/7 :roll:

Author:  Wolfus [ Fri May 15, 2009 11:00 am ]
Post subject: 

I think it's a blend of calibrating use of attention, emotions and frame. Loved your post.

Wolfus

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