PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Changing my social circle
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=41902		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Luca_J [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Changing my social circle
Okay guys Im 17 currently at college and I was in a relatively low status social circle that didnt really do myself any justice, I'm looking to change my social circle and start hanging around with the real popular group.

They consist of what you might call jocks, the most gorgeous women ever and just generally cool people. Basically I want in on this group as they seem to get all the action and the attention. I'm not interested in fucking all the women at all as I have a GF already, I just want to be friendly with these guys, Now today I was speaking to one of the girls who is really popular amongst the group and we're quite friendly. I can talk to her about a lot as we talk about our relationships to each other.

I sat down with 3 of the others as HB invited me to sit down with them. One was another HB and the other was a BIG built guy lol. Things went well we talked a bit, the Alpha male didnt say much just pretended he was tired.

Now my question is obviously I want to change my social circle and chill with these guys more often, how can I use HB to my advantage? and also how can I not appear a threat to all these dominant males and befriend them without looking beta or trying to hard or whatever..

This is purely down to a social aspect Im not interested in any of the women.
Author:  dmacfour [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
No offense, but it seems pretty shallow to switch social groups purely on a status basis. Unless you are having big problems with your old one, don't abandon them. If they are good friends, there is no reason to. Just hang out with both; expand your social network to include both. Neither group has to really mingle; Just divide your time between them.

P.S. I tried doing what you are thinking about doing in High School and ended up having no friends for years. When I actually got in with some people I thought were "cool", I began to realize how superficial it was, and became depressed. For the sake of your mental health, don't make the same mistake I did.
Author:  Luca_J [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
I understand what your saying, but Im not shallow. My old friends have pissed me off, left me because I have changed for the better of me... they try taking the piss out of me because I am SOOO much more confident than them, Im doing well for myself and they dont like it.

I guess that did come across as being shallow, what I really mean is that I dont fit in with my old group because of what they've been like plus I am different in terms of fashion confidence etc, and the group im trying to get in with arnt the coolest or whatever they just better represent me.. do you understand what im saying?

I dont feel out of place with them :)
Author:  dmacfour [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I understand what your saying, but Im not shallow. My old friends have pissed me off, left me because I have changed for the better of me... they try taking the piss out of me because I am SOOO much more confident than them, Im doing well for myself and they dont like it.

I guess that did come across as being shallow, what I really mean is that I dont fit in with my old group because of what they've been like plus I am different in terms of fashion confidence etc, and the group im trying to get in with arnt the coolest or whatever they just better represent me.. do you understand what im saying?

I dont feel out of place with them :)
K I totally understand now. You could either confront your current social circle about it; If they are being dicks, you have every right to cut off contact with them. Or you could slowly lose contact with them.

I don't really have any advice for starting to hang out with the new group. Whenever I make friends, I usually either get invited to do something, or invite them to do something. After that, I just start hangout out with them more and more. You may have to put out some effort to be included to begin with, but if they like you, they'll probably start inviting you to do stuff.
Author:  l0ck [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
I hear ya man I am in a similar situation now. All my friends that have been my friends for so long have been getting into drugs n shit.. Best to make new ones in a bad situation
Author:  Luca_J [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeahh you know what I mean.. they're acting like dicks.. its their loss because I could've hooked them up with soooo manny girls.. but they'd proberly have blown it the stupid AFCs

Theres no talking to them, I've given it enough time and its made me miserable.

NEXT!
Author:  l0ck [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
ya good choice man, their bad attitutudes and dickhead ways will rub off on you... And what I have learned the hard way is NEVER EVER hook anyone up with a girl unless they have done you the favor... Its a dog eat dog world man... Nothing comes easy
Author:  Luca_J [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
True true.. so has anyone got any advice whatsoever?
Author:  expat_of_love [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dump all your so called friends. You don't need them. Boys that age are usually very insecure. That is why they are such jerks. Drop out of social society for the rest of your college years. That is right. Society is your enemy. It is crippling the real you. Be the real you and live your real life. Find yourself from within. You might discover that the real you is pretty damn cool to be with.
Author:  Swoop [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
I hate to say it, but youre gonna have to beat someone ass right in front of them. Like, if theyre having lunch in one particular area, walk by and wave to the hb then actually bump into someone. Then just fuck them up cus they got in your way (make sure you dont lose!). lol, jkjk. Dmac has the right idea. Invite the hb to something cool, with a friend of yours. Hopefully you have at least one you can still rely on. Tell her to bring a friend or two. I like spring training games personally.

Its gonna be hard to switch BAM, just like that. Its going to have to be a transition. Meet the other peeps in that group. "Hey, your friends with so-and-so right? Ya we have 2nd period together; she always tries to cheat off me!" Just be friendly and likable with the group, slowly they should accept you. Oh, go to school sporting events and functions. Invite a few with you. You should be fine. Like attracts like. LOA.
Author:  Luca_J [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Haha Swoop :L your gunna have to beat someone lol ahh. I was thinking oh great :D something violence CAN solve..

yeahh I wasnt expecting it to be easy. In fact I think its a LOT harder than I'm making out.

I've gotta drop these insecure guys, they just beat me down with their lack of confidence and irritating habbits.. god i feel like such a AFC around them.. they want to stand and entertain girls whilst theyre eating.. im the only one who gets a girl out her seat and steals it lol.. i dont give a fuck!

One even tried to give me advice on women :L apparently I just need to tell this girl how I feel and buy her some flowers and send her a nice LOVE you text.. (this was my ex) oh my god what a fool.
Author:  DontBeFickle [ Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:25 am ]
Post subject: 
yeah man, life is about pleasure. The pain/pleasure scale must BALANCE!! or have greater pleasure of course.

pain/pleasure old friends

|------------Pain-----------|*|-Pleasure-|
SADFACE!!!!!!!

pain/pleasure new friends

|-Pain-|*|---------Pleasure---------|
HAPPYFACE!!!!!!!

if something can bring you more pleasure, in your example hanging out with more confident people that dont try to bring you down then do it.

look out for number 1
Author:  GrannySnatcher [ Fri Mar 20, 2009 1:16 am ]
Post subject: 
this is so damn easy. organize a fucking ill party, and make sure that they are there. problem solved. parties are the answer to everything. along with alcohol, haha.

you'll get social proof like a mother fucker. ==> major dhv

--- Snatch
Author:  madals [ Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Dump all your so called friends. You don't need them. Boys that age are usually very insecure. That is why they are such jerks. Drop out of social society for the rest of your college years. That is right. Society is your enemy. It is crippling the real you. Be the real you and live your real life. Find yourself from within. You might discover that the real you is pretty damn cool to be with.
expat, please, I am all for getting to be the best you etc but saying things like that is retarded. Society isn't your enemy, cutting yourself off from everyone for years to find the real you might help you find zen or whatever but it wont help the authors question.

Back on topic -
Going up a social group is hard, its nearly impossible to be frank. Being a guy in a "top" social circle if someone new comes along I wont be a dick, but after the first day I am not going out of my way to make you feel welcome. What I mean by this is that IF (and this is a big if with jocks) you get one who really understands how to get social status you will get one "welcome" session where they will try and bring you into the group, that is your chance. Take it or you will miss out. Assuming that goes ok you will be able to just hang around, its then your job to get your ass into gear to get into the conversations etc.
This HB your friendly with is brilliant though, just stay friendly with her and just spend a few hours with the group, then a few more hours building up slowly. If your always around from the word go you will come across as the wierd kid trying to be cool.

I love the idea above of a party. If you can throw a party do it, simply go over with your HB friend and after a while talking (so its not a random invite) mention your having a house party and they're welcome to come.

The above is ideal though, 99% of "popular guys" aren't socially calibrated. They are popular because they are hot and good at sport (generally), this means that when a new guy comes along they will take the short term laughs of taking the piss out of him rather than the long term gains of getting another cool guy with them. Stand up for yourself in these situations, it will start off as just banter, give it to them back.

I am not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. It will be worth it though. If your 17 I am guessing your in your first year of college, by this time all the social groups are nearly set in stone. People know who their with, they have history with them and inside jokes etc etc. Good luck though!
Madals
Author:  Myth [ Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Because you already have an in (that girl) it wont be as hard
as it normally would. Just make sure when your in their social
group be fun. Dont be the "quiet guy" or they wont want you
there. Also, you need to be the one creating fun to, dont just
always being going to there stuff. Do something and invite them
to it. If there sports guys (some probably are) you could invite
to a sports bar, it march madness right now, plenty of games to
watch.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/