Hey guys,
I had something really strange happen to me lately. A girl I know (and dated for a while) was living in Okinawa (married to a Marine). She recently got divorced and came back to upstate NY. Now here's the thing: I play music and I got a definite IOI when she emailed me and said, "Hey, when you have a show coming up, let me know...I'd love to see you play!" So I wrote her back and told her the next one is June 23. This is her reply:
"I won't be able to make it June 23rd thanks for the invite though. I will try and make it to one of your shows here in the future as of now I have to get my internal clock back on track and my daughter's...birthday parties..family gatherings..separation papers..finding a job...looking at schools and all that stuff. I also don't really have the money to be going out too much right now...so once I get settled in and everything and start
working I will be sure to come visit and see you play."
This struck me as a weird reply right off the bat because she says "thanks for the invite." My first thought was: invite? She ASKED me for the next show date! Now she's making it sound like I brought it up out of the clear blue. And another thing: my gigs are all at night. Who the hell does job searches and looks at schools at night?
Right away I realized what I was doing: I was guilty of using REAL logic instead of "chick logic." So I discussed the problem with a friend who is also working on his PUA skills, and he helped me refine the following reply:
"All righty. Well, you had written me previously saying you wished to make one of my shows, so I was just letting you know the next date is June 23. However, since your life will be so hectic that you won't even
be able to leave the house for an hour or two during the evening (when most people don't do job searches and schools are closed anyway
), I will leave it up to you to contact me as to when you may be free tomake it to a show. I am far too busy these days to remember to email my show dates to everyone I know. As for the issue of you not having money to go out, I just thought I'd reassure you here that only two or
three of my shows have ever had cover charges. Naturally if you go to a bar/coffee house to see me play, the unwritten rule is that they will expect you to buy at least one beer/cup of coffee. In this case I'd be happy to buy one for an old friend...hell, I do that even for the old friends that I HAVEN'T slept with.
"This was written a few days ago. No reply. I thought it was a decent reply; it got in some jabs of logic but not too much, and it displayed some moments of cocky funny, even a little bit of time restraint (too busy to remember to email everyone).
I don't feel like I'm guilty of one-itis here...I just want to know what the hell I could have done different.