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Advice please guys!
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Author:  Kaine [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 12:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Advice please guys!
OK so here goes.

Will try to make this as short as possible. I met this girl randomly one night, invited her out for drinks after work one day. Went really well, negged her all the way. Toward the end of the date, (while we were still in the bar) she had her tongue in down my ear. So naturally i took her home and shagged her. (it was Tuesday). The next day I light heartedly convinced her to take the day off work and we spent the ENTIRE day in my bed, eating pizza and watching The 300 Spartans. (great film!)

Anyway, we continued to flirt on text messaging. Both of us were busy for the next few weeks. Then (about a month later) I ask her out again (next Tuesday), she is really up for it. A couple of days before, I texted to cancel, saying can we rearrange. She says "No problem, but on a more serious note, I really find you fun but would like to meet up just as friends, dont want anything else."

FYI, my reaction to this was (even though I competetly didnt feel this way): "Haha, no worries, that works out great! Think you'd make an awesome friend! Plus things with this girl im seeing have started to get a little serious, and was going to be difficult, so that works out perfectly!"

She replies "Cool. How exciting! Look forward to meeting up."

I have set a date to meet up, and negged/flirted with her since... texted things like, "you are aware when we meet up you will have to stop yourself sticking you tongue down my ear", etc. She replies "Ill see what I can manage ; )"


What the F*ck is going on? Why has she lost interest?! She doesnt know me through any friends, so if she was totally uninterested I assume she would just ignore my messages!

HOW DO I SALVAGE THIS ONE GUYS!? WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?
Author:  TRS [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
If I know anything about game, this is nothing but her playing with your mind. Continue acting like you don't give a shit, hang out with her and take her over mentally and the rest will follow ...
Author:  Jaybot [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
sounds like she was trying to test how into it you are and you played it well. Just hang out and carry on with your game.
Author:  Kaine [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 4:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dont know if it was a good move or not. But we all get those AFC moments, but i thought id pull her up on this shit because it was pissing me off:

I texted her saying "Haha, you know, I must admit you have me intrigued now... satisfy my curiosity. You spent our evening together with your tongue in my ear, then you took the day off work to spend in my apartment with me. And you want to be friends? Something doesnt add up here young lady? Got something you want to tell me? ; ) "

Her reply: "I though you had a girl anyway! Yeah had a lot of fun with you! What more is there to life? Just dont see it getting serious and dont want a regular bed buddy or anything at the moment. Still think you'd be a fun friend"

Me: "Yeah am seeing someone at the moment. Would totally love to have you as a friend! Just thought your peculiar behaviour warrented some questioning. You obviously have issues! Haha ; ) "

"Haha, I dont! Just dont to be accussed of leading guys on or anything!"

Then we arranged to meet up in a couple of weeks, and I told her to "Resist the urge to put her tongue in my ear this time"

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?
Author:  saqchek [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 5:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
/face palm


They seriously need to make a emoticon of the facepalm guy.

Quote:
I texted her saying "Haha, you know, I must admit you have me intrigued now... satisfy my curiosity. You spent our evening together with your tongue in my ear, then you took the day off work to spend in my apartment with me. And you want to be friends? Something doesnt add up here young lady? Got something you want to tell me? ; ) "

Something tells me you are coming off too needy and clingy. You are projecting something serious to her in terms of relationship and she's backing off.



For the love of god, don't fucking send shit out like you did. Either just play with it or move on. Women are fucking emotional trainwrecks as is. One day they want to fuck your brains out, the next minute they are cold as ice. Just learn to adapt and move on.

Also, stop with the "resist the urge to put your tongue in my ear" shit. It's lame and SCREAMS WHAT YOU WANT HER TO DO WHEN YOU TOO MEET UP. She's not fooled by it.
Author:  Fin [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
/face palm


They seriously need to make a emoticon of the facepalm guy.

Quote:
I texted her saying "Haha, you know, I must admit you have me intrigued now... satisfy my curiosity. You spent our evening together with your tongue in my ear, then you took the day off work to spend in my apartment with me. And you want to be friends? Something doesnt add up here young lady? Got something you want to tell me? ; ) "

Something tells me you are coming off too needy and clingy. You are projecting something serious to her in terms of relationship and she's backing off.



For the love of god, don't fucking send shit out like you did. Either just play with it or move on. Women are fucking emotional trainwrecks as is. One day they want to fuck your brains out, the next minute they are cold as ice. Just learn to adapt and move on.

Also, stop with the "resist the urge to put your tongue in my ear" shit. It's lame and SCREAMS WHAT YOU WANT HER TO DO WHEN YOU TOO MEET UP. She's not fooled by it.
He was negging her like fuck, plus the fact that he didn't care about a non-sexual realtionship, balances out the compliance. If anything I would honestly try rewarding her, compliments etc.

Give value let her know that your good to be around. Negs suggest your high value, if she is going to have along standing relationship, she wants to see that value, she wants you to make her feel emotionally good every once in a while.


How's your overall comfort level? Are you over-riding it with pure attraction, or taking care of it and building some deep emotional rapport?
Author:  Bonita [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
My advice is don't "act" unavailable...."BE" unavailable. This girl will see right through it that you dont have another girl. You will say that you have someone, but if she calls you to hang out spur of the moment, you will be available. So safeguard against that and go date some other women. As for what to do with her now, you already sent her a text that conveyed that you were interested in her so you can't deny that now. She knows she has you wondering about that one night...and day. Truth is, sometimes, women just want a night of meaningless sex just like guys. But for girls, it isnt socially acceptable so they try to justify it by hanging out a few times or making friends with the person.

My advice for the future is, if this happens again...don't lie about how you feel. If you tell her you like her and she says she just wants to be friends, "truly" just want to be her friend. If you cant accept that and want more...move on...there are other girls. As for now, just keep this girl as a friend I'd say because you already headed down that path. But don't make plans for weeks from now unless it is something big like a concert. If it is plans to go get a drink or something, that should be done no more than a week in advance, but most likely wed/thurs for a saturday night out
Author:  Kaine [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 7:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
My main point is... whatever her fucked up motivation. Is this situation still savable despite the fact she said "I just want to be friends, etc."

If yes. What to do next?
Author:  Prolific [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
I remember you saying something about asking her out at work.
maybe try this:
since you know where she works take a pivot with you and "accidently" run into your target girl with the pivot on your arm (make sure she knows what u r doing". Introduce the two woman, maybe allow a few seconds of awkward conversation, then be on your way. Wait a few weeks like Bonita has advised, then call your target with news that you and the pivot are no longer seeing one another, and you have an extra concert ticket or great dinner reservations and now no one to accompany you. Hopefully you play it off right, a wounded animal doesnt survive long in the wilderness, she will most likely come to your rescue.
good luck bra
Author:  Kaine [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 7:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sorry mate. you misread, i met her randomly in a bar. Theres no way i can accidently bump into her...

Any other suggestions?
Author:  Lucius [ Tue Sep 16, 2008 2:09 am ]
Post subject: 
ha, I had similar thing happening to me.

Pretty much there is nothing that you can do, become her friend, and get other girls and make her jealous, it will eat her up, make sure the other girls are hotter than she is..

sometimes girls need more time to get to know you, dont think that you knew this girl for couple days and she is going to be ur girlfriend.
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