PUA Forum :: Friend needs some help

So here is the deal: A few months back, a friend and myself both told each other that for a while, we had really liked each other. Problem was she had a boy friend. For a while, we were completely unsure of what to do. She is actually a very emotional girl, even for girl standards. She has always been bad with breakups and can't seem to let him go. We kept trying to kill the relationship, and did everything to stop it. However, it just got worse every time. We went from being attracted to each other, to falling in love with each other, to the point where one day she just jumped on me and we started making out.

The weird thing about the last one is that she has never cheated on any boyfriend she ever had. I've given her ultimatums (him or me) and some how every time she can't break up with him and we stay in the same weird relationship. Her friends and family are starting to suspect us and its just getting worse. I really am at a total loss at what to do here. Just leaving doesn't seem to work, in everything I've read I have never heard of anything like this.

I'm no amateur when it comes to girls, I've had my share of girlfriends and no how to handle a situation. So guys, what do you think? I really do care for her and I know (don't ask me to explain) that she loves me too.

Author:	Rapture [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Friend needs some help
Hey guys, my friend Rik posted this in the newbie forum since he can't post here. The poor guys is really in a jam and I want to get him some help so I'm re-posting this here so more of you experienced guys can try. Original Post: Quote: So here is the deal: A few months back, a friend and myself both told each other that for a while, we had really liked each other. Problem was she had a boy friend. For a while, we were completely unsure of what to do. She is actually a very emotional girl, even for girl standards. She has always been bad with breakups and can't seem to let him go. We kept trying to kill the relationship, and did everything to stop it. However, it just got worse every time. We went from being attracted to each other, to falling in love with each other, to the point where one day she just jumped on me and we started making out. The weird thing about the last one is that she has never cheated on any boyfriend she ever had. I've given her ultimatums (him or me) and some how every time she can't break up with him and we stay in the same weird relationship. Her friends and family are starting to suspect us and its just getting worse. I really am at a total loss at what to do here. Just leaving doesn't seem to work, in everything I've read I have never heard of anything like this. I'm no amateur when it comes to girls, I've had my share of girlfriends and no how to handle a situation. So guys, what do you think? I really do care for her and I know (don't ask me to explain) that she loves me too.

Author:	Luau [ Wed Sep 10, 2008 3:11 am ]
Post subject:
Well the only way you are able to gain anything is that you have to be willing to lose it. You need to tell this girl to make up her mind because for all you know she is having a good time with you and her boyfriend. You have to lay it all on the line and tell her hey im not going to be waiting around for ever. A similar situation happened to me a while ago when I got together with this girl and she kept telling me that she didn't have a boyfriend and everyone else said she did have a boyfriend. So i told her she had to make her choice and she chose him. Dont get me wrong it sucked but I definently learned from it a lot. Whatever you do dont get yourself sucked in too deep because you could end up losing it all.

Author:	Abdul-aAfc [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:57 pm ]
Post subject:
She obviously loves him more than you. If she tells you she loves him more well she is lying. You have to tell her to choose him or you before things start to get nasty if her boyfriend finds out. Besides i think what you are doing is wrong how would you feel if your girlfriend was cheating on you put yourself in his shoes.

Author:	elmercredi [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:
As you say, you'd already said that so used sentence of "it's him or me!", but even when she doesn't choose, you are going on making out with her. So, be honest with what you say! If you say "it's him or me", and I think you should say it, you have to make her choose. Three options: She chooses you above her BF: Great, but if you think of beginning a long-term relationship, beware she could do with you the same thing she has done with her BF. She chooses her BF above you: That means that, in fact, she was not so in love with you. She doesn't choose at all: That's the thing you're doing wrong, I believe; if she does this, just ignore her. She won't accept that and she will try to regain your attention and, why not, your love. In the end, that will become the first option, as she will decide to have you, because you're actually more interesting than his BF.

Author:	Stygian [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:48 pm ]
Post subject:
I will sum up my feelings on this subject in one line: Ultiimatums are a sign of weakness, they are the person's last resort.

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