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| Really lost in what to do here... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=2415 |
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| Author: | Element [ Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Really lost in what to do here... |
I don't know if I should go into specifics or not... I'll give a quick summary. Sunday, have a minor conflict with the girlfriend. Among other bullshit that day. Later on, I decide to go to the club with Gizmo, and some old female friends. I don't tell my girlfriend, and everybody hides it. She finds out, trouble trouble trouble. I'm not going to get way too into it, but here. I've been with this girl for a year and a half. And I'm not sure if I want to continue this any longer. We're supposed to talk about how we've been lately, etc, tonight or tomorrow. This would be the optimum time to end or save. Here's an additional complication to add here. The one girl who invited me to go to the club also invited me to go to a party with her this friday. This was a girl that I used to have a thing for a few years back, but she had a boyfriend. We started talking again, and vibing well (I'm getting in touch with a bunch of old friends), etc. Anyways, you can probably guess my girlfriend doesn't like her much. Multiple scenario questions: Scenario #1: I stay with my girlfriend. If I stay with my girlfriend, I'm thinking it's not a wise idea to go to the party with the other girl, even though I'm not drinking or staying there. Any opinions on that? Scenario #2: I leave my girlfriend. This is an odd one, cause I'm the one who lied to her, she did nothing. But the thing here is, our relationship had it's peak a long time ago, and hasn't been the same for awhile. How can I let her down easy? Scenario #3: I remain undecided. This is what I'm primarily going for. Me and her are going to talk... what can I say that will let her know I'm not sure about us anymore, without her getting super upset and thinking I'm guaranteedly going to break up with her? And if I do pull that off, will I be putting the nail in the coffin if I still go to that party with the other girl? I'm lost, boys... |
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| Author: | Bose [ Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Keep it simple my brotha. Adding more grey area is only going to make things work. You gotta make a decision and stick with it. So look at situation #3 not even being an option. Now the only woman I respect is my mother, therefore I would right off the bat, without even reading your entire post, say leave the broad. But, after reading it closely you said that the relationship had it's peak a long time ago. Well who wants to be in a boring relationship? If these type of things are happening maybe it's just not meant to be. Don't you want to be with someone who is only going to make things better in your life? None the less your question is how to let her down easy. Gah is there ever an easy way? I say be honest with her, and try not to care about how "sad" she gets. Cause if you can be on the level with her despite her cries of desperation or outburts of anger, you can easily close the relationship despite the fact she may not be over it. Then it just takes a matter of time. Now would you still consider being friends with her after you guys break up? |
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| Author: | Element [ Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I have never been friends with an ex-girlfriend. I've never been broken up with... I always lose attraction first. Not sure why. But yeah, everytime I put an end to a relationship, the girl always asks about being friends, talking, etc. I always say yeah, sure, but never end up keeping it up. On that note... I've never been in a relationship this long. And I care for her immensely. So yeah, if we broke it off, I'd still want to try to be friends. As odd as that might end up feeling. That's probably the biggest problem with all of this. I care about this girl alot, and I don't want to hurt her, I don't mean to hurt her. Things just aren't the way I imagined they'd be. |
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| Author: | Bose [ Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well man you sounds like you are in a bit of a bind. Now if you care about this chick, but not enough to be in a relationship with her, then you know what you gotta do. It is totally possible to be friends with an ex, I am livin it right now and it aint so bad. I would reccomend giving it time first before you see each other. Having your own space is always nice. What it boils down to is being easier said then done. It's a simple matter of just telling her the truth, but that isn't easy to do. Just be forward with her and expect some drama, but you'll get through it bud. |
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| Author: | Methuselah [ Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: But the thing here is, our relationship had it's peak a long time ago, and hasn't been the same for awhile. How can I let her down easy?
If you feel that way, I think you should go with your second option bro. Just because I've been there before where I knew the relationship wasn't where it was by any means, and I ended it and took her back once. 2 months later we broke up, and it honestly was just a waste of my time, energy, and money. As far as ways to let her down easy...thats always a tough situation, you say its been a year and a half or so. The best way I can think of is just to tell her exactly what you said, you feel the relationship doesn't have the fire it used to. At least you'll be being honest with her, you can't really get mad at someone for their feelings or loss there of. She will be hurt I'm sure, but if you feel its time to move on then its time to move on. Go with your intuition on this one, not your logically reasoning. Side note: If you do feel its time to cut loose, make sure this new chick is worth loosing what you have. Measure their weight in your life. Good Luck |
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| Author: | Brianstorm [ Thu Feb 22, 2007 12:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
The only descion you can make is how you feel, period. if you feel its voer and nothing worth while then there is your answer but if you think you really want to be with her then you got shit to work on. I can't tell you what to do nor can anyone else. Follow your heart strictly on this one |
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| Author: | Climax [ Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Exactly! Im sure we have all been there before we started learning about the whole PUA thing Personally i was with my ex for over 2 yrs, and by the end, cos i basically stayed with her, even tho i knew it wasnt working it was so bad! In the end i couldnt fool myself - I WASNT HAPPY!!! The Breakup was bad - tears, anger, the usual - and you should have seen her! Lol But On a Serious Note - You cant Kid yourself! If your not happy then it wont Work! Since i broke up the women i slept with went up by about 400% lol and im now with an AMAZING girl! Who over the last 6 months, there hasnt been 1 dull moment. The Grass is Looking Greener on this side mate! :p |
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| Author: | Custom [ Thu Feb 22, 2007 7:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think yer giving too much thought... In my experience... You can't force anyone to feel you like you feel them... If you lost that spark brother, I would suggest to move on... You said it yerself, you peaked out, more and more people are coming into yer life, you need a change, you need to move around again... She seems like she has been holding you back... Also, you ain't even feeling her like before, but you still don't want her to get heated if you got to a party with another girl??? Why should that matter... I think there is a lot more going on here...You mos def have a lot of feelings for this girl, but not in the sense you hoped for... I believe you and her lack in communication... Some where down the line of yer relationship with her, communication changed, feelings change, and now you want to move on... This is norma, but have you made this aware to her once you realized the situation at hand... A lot of people tend to stick it out only because of the comfort and convienence... In the long run you both will be wasting yer time... Seeing how you had a relationship, methods can not be applied nor do you want to... Yer natural game won't work either because feelings are in the way, and you seem confused with what you want... Take a step back, and ask yerself what you want, fuck what anyone else thinks, cuz in the end when you die, yer the only one that is gone... Second, don't make any decisions on feelings... Observe and analyze, and do what is right for yerself first!!!!! I believe if you just take that time to look at things from all angles, you wouldn't have to worry about letting her down easy, it should just work out as something mutual... |
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