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wtf? LJBF, sexual attraction, one-tis all at once. answers?
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Author:  bahumbug [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:05 am ]
Post subject:  wtf? LJBF, sexual attraction, one-tis all at once. answers?
long story short, she's my one itis for at least 4 yrs and i've been gaming her.

to her defense, she's super mormon (started about 8 mo again, she was regular before then)

i want to date her but i dont want to turn mormon! what's the solution?

oh yeah, background story to this convo: we hung out for once tonight after 2-3 weeks of me not tlaking to her and trying to get over her. we went to go see my new house and when we got back to my place, i cave man'ed the shit out of her in my bedroom then as i walked her out the house (refer to wall comment)
Quote:
9:24pmHB
oh my gosh
9:24pmME
seriously
my essay isn't going to finish itself.
9:25pmHB
okay sorry
9:25pmME
what's up
9:25pmHB
i can't breathe
9:26pmME
why can't you breath?
9:26pmHB
because if orgot how, you always do this to me
is it not possible for us to just talk and be around each other, cuz i miss you like hell, but I am eventually not going to leave and I am telling you, i'll hate myself the next day
9:27pmME
i dont know. i feel the same way.
yeah. oh i read that wrong.
9:28pmME
yeah. it's tough when we want each other so badly.
9:30pmHB
what i want is you in my life, as a friend, I was trying to be serious asking you about girls your dating and stuff, we have both said it's better if we're just friends but then we tiptoe around each other and avoid each other at times and then when we finally see each other we pounce lol
9:33pmME
wwjd?
9:35pmHB
you're such a shit
jesus would tell me to stay away from you
9:35pmME
thanks. i feel all fuzzy inside
9:36pmHB
you know i can't stay away from you, my best efforts have faltered time and time again :-P
9:36pmME
maybe i just have to be a total dick and piss you off really bad
9:36pmHB
that would hurt
i just think we can't be alone in a room together
cuz when you threw me up against the wall, I swear I almost fainted when I tried to walk to my car lol
i forgot how to open the gate
9:37pmME
LOL
9:37pmHB
i know right? lol
9:37pmME
i'm sorry. i'll stop being so damn seductive.
and sexy
and handsome and cute and have awesome abs and whatever else you listed
9:38pmHB
lol cocky arrogant hot and sexy brat
i don't want to be w/o you in my life, you kinda make me happy :-) but seriously just friends ME, no more cuddling, no more holding hands, no more kissing and definitely no more throwing me up againts a wall
9:39pmME
oh you forgot the smart and going to be super rich part
9:39pmHB
ewww
9:39pmME
lol.
ok
what do i get out of it? r u going to introduce me to that 19 year old or what?
9:40pmHB
ME [last name], i want you to tell me about your new girlfriend when you find her, and i will even double if you want, and I will be glad to meet her, but if you think that I will in any way be a part of introducing you to anyone, you're severly dillusional
i may accept the fact that we are just friends, but that doesn't change the fact that I have intense feelings for you that aren't going to go away over night, and I am an extremely jealous person :-P
9:41pmME
yeah, i wasn't serious
9:41pmHB
well good
cuz it wasn't funny!
go get your paper done
i'll call you next week to set up dinner
you better not flake on me
9:42pmME
i'll try not to
remind me so i dont forget
9:42pmHB
you better try and rephase that right now
or i'm going to drive over there and make you tell me in person
that you WILL NOT flake :-P
9:43pmME
you wont dare drive over here.
9:43pmHB
dont' try me
9:43pmME
so i'm not going to reword. it.
9:43pmHB
ME [last name] please reword it
because if i drive over there right now i will do something dumb because my hormones are bouncing off of walls
9:44pmME
which is why you wont drive over :-p
i win. see ya later!!!
9:44pmHB
fine, good night
Author:  David~ [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:18 am ]
Post subject: 
wtf? she has intense feelings for you, but she just wants to be your friend.

you need to give us reasons why she can't or doesn't want to date you.

too me it sounds like you basically bagged the chick, she's all yours, theres just one final obstacle, and she wants you to break it.

whatever that may be, you not a mormon maybe? see, she wants you to be her friend, don't settle for that shit. tell her the ultimatum, either we can date, or you're out of my life and i'm moving on. you have to be willing to lose a girl to win her. got it? say yes :D
Author:  bahumbug [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:40 am ]
Post subject: 
i'm not sure why she wont date me. i think alot of it has to do with the mormon part (getting married in the temple, not having sex till marriage)

or it could be my age. she's always had a problem with being 2 years older than me, even though we graduated hs and started college the same year. i think she got over that though.

maybe she has a mental block that i need to have her overcome somehow? i've said shit like "this wont work out. i'll make a bad bf" and she'll shoot right back with "wow. you did not just say that. i do not agree with what you just said"

shit like that...

last time we cuddled and got REALLY close to having sex, she started crying thru her clothes back on and ran out of my room (this was 3 weeks ago) :shock:
Author:  David~ [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:48 am ]
Post subject: 
ah i gotcha. see you dlv'd yourself by saying i wont be a good bf and all that shit.

and as for the sex thing, i wouldnt try it unless i've said I love you too her.

give her the ultimatum after having a really good fucking date.

"Listen HB, I really care about you, and I have a great time with you. I want to date you, its either that or I have to stop seeing you and talking to you all togethor. Do you know why? Because I'm starting to fall in love with you and I can't take it anymore."

that will settle the score, she'll realize you dont want to settle as friends. honestly you cant be friends with girls like this. this is LTR-girlfriend quality here. So give her the ultimatum, give her time to think about it, and let the reality of loss settle in her.
Author:  The Doctor [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
ah i gotcha. see you dlv'd yourself by saying i wont be a good bf and all that shit.

and as for the sex thing, i wouldnt try it unless i've said I love you too her.

give her the ultimatum after having a really good fucking date.

"Listen HB, I really care about you, and I have a great time with you. I want to date you, its either that or I have to stop seeing you and talking to you all togethor. Do you know why? Because I'm starting to fall in love with you and I can't take it anymore."

that will settle the score, she'll realize you dont want to settle as friends. honestly you cant be friends with girls like this. this is LTR-girlfriend quality here. So give her the ultimatum, give her time to think about it, and let the reality of loss settle in her.
Why are we giving an ultimatem? That seems ludacris to me... what type of precedent are you starting that way?

And dude seriously... telling a girl you love her so you can get in her pants is one of the most jerkoff things in the book.

This post upsets me because it represents everything a PUA should strive not to be.
Author:  Waffle [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
ah i gotcha. see you dlv'd yourself by saying i wont be a good bf and all that shit.

and as for the sex thing, i wouldnt try it unless i've said I love you too her.

give her the ultimatum after having a really good fucking date.

"Listen HB, I really care about you, and I have a great time with you. I want to date you, its either that or I have to stop seeing you and talking to you all togethor. Do you know why? Because I'm starting to fall in love with you and I can't take it anymore."

that will settle the score, she'll realize you dont want to settle as friends. honestly you cant be friends with girls like this. this is LTR-girlfriend quality here. So give her the ultimatum, give her time to think about it, and let the reality of loss settle in her.
Why are we giving an ultimatem? That seems ludacris to me... what type of precedent are you starting that way?

And dude seriously... telling a girl you love her so you can get in her pants is one of the most jerkoff things in the book.

This post upsets me because it represents everything a PUA should strive not to be.
Isn't being a PUA about being the exception to the rules Doc? :lol:
But seriously, Ba, if you feel that Beschatten's advice is the way to go, then go. Don't tell this girl you love her just to bed her though. Only say something like that if you actually mean it. I just said we are about being exceptions to the rules but one rule must always be unwavering. "Leave them better than you found them".
Author:  bahumbug [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"Leave them better than you found them".
good reminder. that should always be in all our heads.

anyways, back on topic... any help?

she wants to come over and make dinner tonight (rather than next fri/sat)

i told her to be at my place 6 but now i'm thinking about just canceling cause i'm going to be busy (gym and lots of hw for summer school).

if i dont hang out with her, it's hard. if i do hang out with her, we get so close that it's also hard to not let her ride me... :P

she said that she'll hate herself the next day if we do it.... i hate it when when things get complicated, especially due to religion.
Author:  David~ [ Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
i never said tell her you love her to fuck her

what i meant was to in order for sex to happen with a girl like this, is love. she has to love you and you have to love her.

and what it sounds like is you are actually starting to fall in love with her. so there is no harm in saying "im starting to fall in love with you". sometimes girls need to be lead and given a direction, that much i do know and it sounds like this is relationship material. so giving an ultimatum would be much better than sitting back and letting her let it go and stay as friends. its selfish of her to say i want you in my life while you get emotionally scarred and she is satisfied with it. so make it a relationship and date her.
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