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WTF is "good conversation"/ Why is rapport inching
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=22379		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  slyder2412 [ Mon May 26, 2008 12:40 am ]
Post subject:  WTF is "good conversation"/ Why is rapport inching
I don't get it....so many guys here say "i engage them in good conversation" and that wins their hearts. Whenever i make conversation more in depth, not much value is seen with it/rapport doesn't seem to increase. It appears that these girls seem more invested when i banter/fluff talk.

Just now i was talking to a girl on how lyrics just don't "reach" me on a emotional level and i can never feel empathy for the person singing the words. Something along the lines that i feel that broken hearts and going out clubbing are cliche things that happens to EVERYONE, so i have a hard time feeling legitemately moved by their message unless it's a friend who wrote it of which i feel it's more genuine.

Then i asked her what lyrics mean to her and if she feels sympathy for the person singing or takes the meaning into her own life and applies it.

I thought this was an interesting topic but yet didn't seem to strengthen rapport at any extent. It feels like whenever i try and talk about something which i would consider "good conversation" ...being introverted or extroverted..how they see the world...wut gives them more stimulus, their thoughts or other people....just "thoughtful" conversation.

Maybe i'm talking to half-wits but i can't believe they don't have a longing for understanding themselves more and enjoying a conversation about it which may clear things up about their own identity as well as learn about someone else's . What do you guys think on this please? I'm at a loss for what to do.....non stop attempts at negs/witty humor is really boring me. My witty humor shouldn't be forced, but i feel that when i DO actively think of some funny comment, rapport is enforced MUCH more so then what you guys have considered "engaging/good conversation". Any tips...philosophies on wut i'm doing wrong(if i'm doing something wrong)

Thanks guys!
Author:  Romantic100 [ Mon May 26, 2008 12:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Well your not doing anything wrong Unless your bragging about your self or your revealing way to much about yourself way too early. Its best when meeting someone to let them talk and you do the listening they will feel much more connection to you. Who wanted to talk more you or the girl well your the one who did the approaching means your the one who has to find out alot about this girl before you can really see her or anything. get it? So to build rapport means you have to find something you both have in common its very simple people use fancy words to stress this but thats what it really means Gratci :D
Author:  Difference [ Mon May 26, 2008 12:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Maybe you are just talking to air-heads. Also depeds how quickly you are jumping in to these more in depth conversations. After a few minutes, 10, 20?
Author:  stevenadrien [ Mon May 26, 2008 1:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Also, it could be because of how you present the conversation.
If you use complex words, or long seemingly interminating phrases, then of course they will get bored and won't really be in the conversation.

But if you make it seem really interesting, by putting energy and making them seem like something they should check out, then that would create rapport and make them want to participate into the conversation.

Just calibrate and make sure to find something that seems interesting/fun to them too, that way they can put input in the conversation.
Author:  Introvert [ Mon May 26, 2008 2:16 am ]
Post subject: 
The deep stuff should really be reserved for a different setting than wherever you're trying to pick up women in my opinion, unless they bring it up. If you are out not thinking too much, just doing whatever and someone tries to engage you in some deep stuff, what are the chances you'll be really into it?

By good conversation, in terms of pick-up, I think most mean light, funny, and with emotion.
Author:  mozyFresh [ Mon May 26, 2008 2:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds pretty dodgey to me 'what lyrics mean to her...do you feel sympathy for person singing...meaning into your own life and apply it'
Why would you feel sympathy for the person singing it?

Is this what girls really want to talk about?

Man up abit, its a comfort phase, not a romance them share your soul phase.
This might be intresting conversation to you, but i can why people would'nt agree.
Keep on flirting whilst also getting to know each other alittle better.
Author:  Chief [ Mon May 26, 2008 3:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WTF is "good conversation"/ Why is rapport inc
Quote:
Just now i was talking to a girl on how lyrics just don't "reach" me on a emotional level and i can never feel empathy for the person singing the words. Something along the lines that i feel that broken hearts and going out clubbing are cliche things that happens to EVERYONE, so i have a hard time feeling legitemately moved by their message unless it's a friend who wrote it of which i feel it's more genuine.
You're rationalizing an emotion to become negative, therefore taking emotion out of your expression in communication. Stop that. You would have built so much more rapport if you talked about how music and lyrics actually move you on a deep level instead of dismissing your feelings from the equation. You are basically telling her that you are an unfeeling robot, which is a DLV. Girls can't feel rapport with robots.

Expose your emotional vulnerabilities to build trust and rapport.
Author:  slyder2412 [ Mon May 26, 2008 6:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you all for your answers so far! To dismiss a few responses about bringing up such a topic too early. I've met this girl numerous times throughout the year or so...we've spent full days together with friends so it wasn't a right off the bat thing. I also brought it up b/c she seemed to interest me in a "intellectual" way as she would talk about meditation/fasting/being introspective....basically reflecting on life a lot.

That being the outline of such a girl, i thought the topic at hand would have had more of an impact. (granted i'm not just spitting complex words/ideas or even topics like this b/c i WANT to appear a certain way....if people know me... i'm always like that)

I get what you mean chief on portraying myself as "a unfeeling robot"....but even w/o realizing it at the time...i canceled out that possible inference by stating how much the MUSIC ITSELF effects me. How one cannot dance to a consistent beat in classical music or even hear what the "message" of the song is about......but the instrumentals alone is moving.

I would think that would then not be DLV as i did include my love/connection with music on a strictly instrumental level. I guess if this topic ever arises again i have to explain HOW it moves me instead of just stating that it does.

Mozy i think that's what girls will want to talk about....girls love chick flicks about a guy and a girl getting mixed up in love as well as songs ABOUT love/relationships. Also out of all conversation that day...topics such as this would maybe have been 10-20% so i simply wasn't attempting to "romance" but just b/c it was a thought that came up as conversation was rolling.

Again! thank you for your answers and although conversations like this ARE interesting to me so i will continue them....i'll try and remember to keep it emotionally appealing and apply more "energy" whilst in such a conversation to try to keep "boredom" out of the equation.
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