Lost interest after second date



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2018 11:06 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2018 9:20 am
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Approached an HB7 at a bar and struck up a conversation. Talked for a while, ended up with some good Kino and k-closed before she got in her Uber to go home with her friend.

I set up a date a few weeks later. Date goes well, however she was throwing some tests at me. One about my physical appearance, I bite my nails sometimes. College has me stressed. I acted like it was no big deal and maintained composure. She was busting my balls here and there, but I turned it on her and teased her as well. I like the banter. I escalate with kino over the course of the evening, end up making out with her for a little at Topgolf and it's going well. She asked me several times if I bore her. Didn't know how to calibrate that as a shit test or general concern. I laughed it off and said "Why would you think that?" with a smile on my face. We all went to dinner, I paid for hers and mine. I have a nice job so I didn't think twice about it. Just grabbed the bill like it was no biggie. She thanked me in the car and I rewarded her with some kino and kissing.

At the end of the night, I escalate quite nicely with her in bed. Massage, kissing, and eventually I'm about to f-close. Put the condom on and as she's riding me my dick gets limp. Had no feeling whatsoever, the condom was thick, it was 4am and I drank a lot of alcohol. This had never happened to me before so I was confused to say the least. I'm one horny bastard. She was definitely offput by the situation. I tried to mitigate the issue, I told her it was just the alcohol and the lack of sleep. I definitely tried to not come off weak. I couldn't really leave either as it was a decent drive back to my place. Before I crashed I laughed and said, "Fuck, I'm so sorry that happened".

Woke up next day acted like everything was a no big deal, she made me coffee and we talked for a bit. I probably came off too weak by apologizing again but I said, "Damn I know I made that awkward for the both of us, that's my bad." That's the last thing I said about that.

On our second date 3 days later. At the beginning it was tough to get the conversation flowing. We get a few drinks and the socializing starts well. One hiccup, I got someone to take a picture of us. I do have other females that look at my snapchat, so obviously I have some motives. But the pictures slightly showed her thong and I had already posted it. She got butthurt about that, I wasn't sure if she was shit testing me so I told her "Nah, I like the picture and I didn't even notice that until you pointed it out". She got really salty and was legitimately upset. We were in a loud setting so I tell her in her ear "You know what, you're right, that was my mistake I'll take it down. Are you ok?" She was still a bit annoyed and I probed her as to why. She said "That's not how I wanted you to act.." I brushed it off and we move past that, the choices were to go to a movie or go out to Austin for Halloween. I decided go out to Austin although I kind of regret it now. We had a lot of fun, a lot of walking around and showing her bars. We get really drunk, I'm using kino as usual and kissing her in good spots. She busted my balls about being limp in bed and attributing it to her being unattractive. I laughed it off and told her to stop, that wasn't the issue. We go to IHOP, still some good banter back and forth. I lowkey get annoyed because other dudes are staring at her but nothing serious. I think that might have been a turn off. I said "Damn that was annoying, the guy behind you wouldn't stop looking over at our table". I pick up the check again without thinking and we head back to her place. We get to her bed and I try to escalate with her a bit but I'm really drunk and so was she so I basically closed my eyes and passed out instantly.

Wake up next day and we talk for a bit. I ask her what her schedule is like. She had an offday that day and had work the next 6 days basically.

Me : well damn since you got such a long work week let's do something more casual tonight.
Her : "Idk, maybe."
Me : " Hahaha fuck maybe."

I gave her a quick kiss and left. I had a lot to do that day.

Her : "I can't hang out tonight cuz I have to get ready for my shift tomorrow blah blah blah"
Her (several hours later) : "Are you mad"
Me after an hour later, just got out the gym : "I'm so mad ;). Lol nah I clocked out of work late and hit the gym hard. How's your night?"
Her (several hours later) : "Just woke up from a nap"

She's a nurse so she has odd hours. After this point I could tell she was starting to distance herself from me. So I laid back for a few days and did some stuff with friends. I would kinda call it a freezeout but I wasn't sure what my goal was or if there was any reason for it other than giving her some space. Texted her last night after a few days and asked "Hey! How are the shifts going". She texted back maybe 8 hrs later after her shift ended giving me an explanation of her workday. I texted her several hours later and broke some ice by saying I saw a drunk dude eat some food off the ground at Wurstfest just like we saw out in Austin. Kinda trying to reel her back in and associate some more good vibes with me. She didn't reply back. This was at around 3pm

I hit her with a snapchat earlier tonight at around 10pm that she replied to and laughed at, just an inside joke we had. Then later I sent a pic of me with my shirt off in the gym locker room captioned "Lemme see you in those hot scrubs. Send a pic!" I assumed she was into that because she goes to the gym and has sent me one as well. Her demeanor was pretty cold toward me

Her : Nope, in bed
Me : Well shit, that's a bummer. Anyways, lets go see that movie tomorrow that you kept me from :D
(A joke because I'm the one that chose to not see the movie)
Her : I'm going to be honest, I had a lot of fun but I don't see us as a good couple

I probed her a bit

Me : Anything in particular that pissed you off?
(Asked because I have a tendency to laugh off most of what woman say to me, not sure if I legitimately offended her)
Her : No, I just think we are really different people
Me : How so? Is it because I talk to a lot of chicks?
(She's seen my phone and other chicks I have gamed)
Her : No I just don't think we would mesh well together
Me : Ya you're right, I was just giving it a chance. Good luck with the grind
Her : Thanks, you too

She clearly read this whole situation as me being needy. I think I should've pulled back hard when I got those vibes and let her reach out to me. But I also wasn't sure if she was really concerned with work. Afterall, she is a nurse who works a 12-14 hour shift. Idk if it's needy to probe her on her reasons why she's not interested. Does that come off as insecure? Ultimately I feel like my whole demeanor was mainly confident and collected. Much more than it has been in the past.

Is this salvageable in any way or do I no-contact and move on. Was the way I handled this decent? What could I have done better?


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 4:01 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2018 3:51 am
Posts: 1
I think you missed a very important issue for her on one of the most recent dates you had - particularly when she got upset at you once you had a picture of her thong present.

"I didn't think you were like that" is a huge red flag. Something changed in her mind about who you are and what she perceived you as. Either you presented yourself as someone else - or she misread you - one way or another, it notes that the relationship has drastically changed now that you're not the same person she originally met.

Because it wasn't properly addressed - this escalated to the point that other issues like bedroom problems became bigger than they already were, which then also meant she no longer felt attractive.

Once they no longer feel they can trust you or are safe in your company, it's pretty hard to get them to open up again, especially if they've come to believe it was due to them not perceiving you correctly/you being a liar.

Not sure if you can salvage this. I think being as forthcoming may actually help you the most, as you need to re-establish trust with her, if you continue playing any form of mental games with her - she'll continue to run away.

Good luck


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