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Don't date single mothers
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Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Sun Sep 04, 2016 5:00 am ]
Post subject:  Don't date single mothers
This is from experience. Just keep them as fuck buddies or in the dating loop indefinitely (difficult)

Most of the single mothers are on the hunt for the next daddy figure and the next provider. Trust me, she won't say this out front but she will try to make you their dad. Single mothers will be single for the rest of their lives majority of the time. I don't blame men from not marrying them. You will be stuck paying child support if you adopt them and are married to her. Imagine getting divorced and paying child support after marriage for kids that arent yours.....LOL. I understand that there are men that are okay with providing but these men are in the minority when it comes to raising another mans kids. That's like voluntarily driving a crappy car when you are able to have the car of your dreams. All you have to do is not purchase the crap car.


I think the most important lesson I ever got was after I broke up with a single mom. Her friend (a single mother too lol) came up to me and told me how she wished we worked out, it's tough raising kids on your own as a mom, especially if the dad isn't in the picture, blah blah blah.

She didn't see the problem with what she said. She is basically telling me that I should have absolved her from her sins because she decided to date a bad person and created a baby with that bad person. I did not feel bad at all. That's all she was doing, trying to make me feel bad. I only felt bad for the kids, but it's not my job to save someone from a predicament that was caused by their actions. You date bad men, you get pregnant from bad men, and you expect someone else to wash away your mistakes ? Please.


What is it like to date a single mom? You will not be a priority on her list. Her kids, the dirty clothes, the homework that needs to be done, the food, the bills, the child support, and anything you can think of will come before you. Of course, they expect YOU to be available at the drop of a hat when she finally is available to some free time for you and her.

So your needs will not be important at all. But the woman will damn sure express HER needs and she will expect you to abide by her schedule. One sided.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
There's a very low chance I'd ever date a single mother.

I don't mean to sound biased but that's just my preference. The concept of a kid is more baggage than I'm willing to deal with at this point in my life. That alone is enough reason for me to pass.
Author:  Stoliar [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
How big is your pool of experience? Cause I dated a single mother once, and I don't recognize anything that you said in my experience. She had more respect for me than what you describe, although (and to me it's a matter of course) she expected me to consider her and her kid as a whole (we had a decent amount of dates pushing the stroller). She didn't see me as a guy who'd come up to save her from the toughness of raising a kid on her own, to her her kid was her responsibility alone and I had nothing to do with it.

You sound like you had one bad experience, and you're judging a whole population out of it. Rather, you should think that, regardless of their background, there's people out there who won't mind stomping on you in order to push their own agenda.
Author:  Chief [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 9:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Quote:
Imagine getting divorced and paying child support after marriage for kids that arent yours.....LOL. I understand that there are men that are okay with providing but these men are in the minority when it comes to raising another mans kids.
I may be in no position to argue for or against putting yourself in this sort of situation, but in my mind there is a huge difference between "raising another man's kids" that were there before you and "raising another man's kids" because she cheated on you. I don't see any problem with the former aside from the regular problems of raising kids that exist already. Sure, the latter situation where the man has been cheated on and ends up raising some other alpha's kids is shameful and we'll all say he's a "cuck," but choosing to take such a role in an already-established family like that seems pretty cool to me, actually. The differences in connotations are huge. While the cuck is a fool who has been tricked, the guy who chose to take responsibility for another family is generous and pretty alpha if you think about it.
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She didn't see the problem with what she said. She is basically telling me that I should have absolved her from her sins because she decided to date a bad person and created a baby with that bad person. I did not feel bad at all.
I hope you'll see the problem in what you just said. Sins? Who are you to judge? It certainly isn't our role as PUAs to judge any woman for their sexual history or potential "mistakes" she has made that has anything to do with sex. In fact, it's our role to actively fight against such sexual conservatism. Being sexually progressive does help everyone get laid more, after all, if you (anyone reading this) are the type who needs such utilitarian reasoning.
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You sound like you had one bad experience, and you're judging a whole population out of it.
We should all remain conscious of these tricks our minds can play on us and strive to withhold our judgments. Thanks for that.

I'll stop here, though, because this thread topic is mainly about being in relationships with single mothers, and I don't plan on getting into any serious relationships any time soon whether it's with single mothers or not :P
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Quote:
How big is your pool of experience? Cause I dated a single mother once, and I don't recognize anything that you said in my experience. She had more respect for me than what you describe, although (and to me it's a matter of course) she expected me to consider her and her kid as a whole (we had a decent amount of dates pushing the stroller). She didn't see me as a guy who'd come up to save her from the toughness of raising a kid on her own, to her her kid was her responsibility alone and I had nothing to do with it.

You sound like you had one bad experience, and you're judging a whole population out of it. Rather, you should think that, regardless of their background, there's people out there who won't mind stomping on you in order to push their own agenda.
How long did you date this broad.

I could say the reverse and that would be my stance on experience. I have dated 5 of these broads. Each one had a different situation. They all still wanted me to commit at some point. You are dating her and her kid. If you commit to her, then you will be expected to be involved in the childs life unless you straight up tell her that the raising of the child is her responsibility. You will see her pout. Even if she said she doesn't need a man, she will conveniently change her mind down the road "i think you should spend more time with....." is all you need to hear before you realize that you are parenting.
Quote:
I hope you'll see the problem in what you just said. Sins? Who are you to judge? It certainly isn't our role as PUAs to judge any woman for their sexual history or potential "mistakes" she has made that has anything to do with sex. In fact, it's our role to actively fight against such sexual conservatism. Being sexually progressive does help everyone get laid more, after all, if you (anyone reading this) are the type who needs such utilitarian reasoning.
If she has one kid by the man that's a pass....but if she has two kids by two different men and they are both not involved and they are bad men, then that's her fault. That's like a woman dating bad boys and getting pregnant by them and THEN she is like "i need to find a good guy now" after she has two little ones because of her decision making. how many times do you have to get shitted on to realize the pattern, i think one time should have been enough. I know there's a red flags post on the forum somewhere and it's worth a look at.
Quote:
The differences in connotations are huge. While the cuck is a fool who has been tricked, the guy who chose to take responsibility for another family is generous and pretty alpha if you think about it.
Unless this guy has kids of his own then I would agree on taking responsibility is alright. But if he is a single man with no kids and the world as his oyster, he is voluntarily putting himself as a dad and voluntarily taking on the expenses and time to raise a family that isn't his. That's why I said it's like voluntarily driving a crap car when you could go get yourself a Mercedes.

Quote:
We should all remain conscious of these tricks our minds can play on us and strive to withhold our judgments. Thanks for that.

I'll stop here, though, because this thread topic is mainly about being in relationships with single mothers, and I don't plan on getting into any serious relationships any time soon whether it's with single mothers or not :P
You know how this works. Once you start falling for a woman your logic and reasoning starts waning. Unless your constantly battling this everyday to remain who you are.
Author:  Stoliar [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Quote:
Quote:
How big is your pool of experience? Cause I dated a single mother once, and I don't recognize anything that you said in my experience. She had more respect for me than what you describe, although (and to me it's a matter of course) she expected me to consider her and her kid as a whole (we had a decent amount of dates pushing the stroller). She didn't see me as a guy who'd come up to save her from the toughness of raising a kid on her own, to her her kid was her responsibility alone and I had nothing to do with it.

You sound like you had one bad experience, and you're judging a whole population out of it. Rather, you should think that, regardless of their background, there's people out there who won't mind stomping on you in order to push their own agenda.
How long did you date this broad.

I could say the reverse and that would be my stance on experience. I have dated 5 of these broads. Each one had a different situation. They all still wanted me to commit at some point. You are dating her and her kid. If you commit to her, then you will be expected to be involved in the childs life unless you straight up tell her that the raising of the child is her responsibility. You will see her pout. Even if she said she doesn't need a man, she will conveniently change her mind down the road "i think you should spend more time with....." is all you need to hear before you realize that you are parenting.
Lol your message is so loaded with negative sentiments. I'm really sorry that you had bad experiences, but I can't help wondering whether you could have been more upfront about what you would put up with and what you wouldn't. If you tell her that you only want to date her, not her kid, and she comes one day with the stroller, it's up to you to remind her your conditions. If you tell her you don't want to commit and she later changes her mind, it's up to you to remind her what you agreed on.

As for my girl, when we dated she asked me to commit, I said I couldn't, I didn't know where I'd be one or three years from then. That was the end of the discussion, we kept on dating, then after three months we broke up. Today she's one of my best friends and we occasionally hook up. But again, she was smarter and more mature than most women I've met, so you're right, I'm not gonna judge all single mothers based on my experience with her.

Also, to me if a woman has good sense of responsibilities she'll put her kid above anything else--her job, her friends, her sentimental life. And to me it's only being considerate to accept this fact when you're dating the girl. I'm not saying that you should become the father of the kid, I'm not saying you should share her responsibility, but just that you should take the woman and the kid together in whatever relationship both of you agree on. Otherwise to me it feels like "I totally want to date you, but I don't wanna hear about your mother who's dying from cancer, cause that's your responsibility and not mine."
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Lol. I am just sending a warning out for the fellas who think single mothers meet their needs. Most of the time their kids will come first as it should be. Kids should always come first. I wouldn't respect a single mother who didn't do that


So unless they want to be waiting around for her to find a babysitter, the only option is to be involved in their lives or wait until she gets a babysitter for you to see her. The problem with getting involved is that it means parenting at one point or the other.

I guess you lucked out.
Author:  Darkie [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Although they usually are easier to fuck, don't date single mothers. Leave them all to me!!! :lol: 8) :twisted:
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Quote:
Although they usually are easier to fuck, don't date single mothers. Leave them all to me!!! :lol: 8) :twisted:

I said date. Not fuck. I'll still be there ;)
Author:  HT23VWY67 [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
You've dated FIVE, ehem, 5, women with children.
Who is making mistakes now? One, fine. Two, last chance. But you've dated FIVE of them. You're pointing fingers at these women but you've slept with FIVE single mothers. I'm not sure who is more to blame here.

You're not happy with them...but you keep dating them? Because?

I've dated certain men before. When the 3rd guy in that category came around (because you know, 2 was giving them a chance), you know what I did. I ran the other way.

Don't date them, period. I have sympathy for single mothers. Some of their partners are dead beats but others are quite successful but refuse to own up and pay child support.

Single mothers are looking for a good man and yes, a good man for their kids too. Can you blame them? I've dated a single dad before. He didn't expect me to be a mom to his kid, but I knew going forward I couldn't just be like, prioritize me over your kid. Doesn't work that way. Didn't expect him too either. But I didn't go forward anyway.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Quote:
You've dated FIVE, ehem, 5, women with children.
Who is making mistakes now? One, fine. Two, last chance. But you've dated FIVE of them. You're pointing fingers at these women but you've slept with FIVE single mothers. I'm not sure who is more to blame here.

You're not happy with them...but you keep dating them? Because?

I've dated certain men before. When the 3rd guy in that category came around (because you know, 2 was giving them a chance), you know what I did. I ran the other way.

Don't date them, period. I have sympathy for single mothers. Some of their partners are dead beats but others are quite successful but refuse to own up and pay child support.

Single mothers are looking for a good man and yes, a good man for their kids too. Can you blame them? I've dated a single dad before. He didn't expect me to be a mom to his kid, but I knew going forward I couldn't just be like, prioritize me over your kid. Doesn't work that way. Didn't expect him too either. But I didn't go forward anyway.

Oh stop it lol. I took the blame already and I am sending out a warning is all. I just said keep them at casual level or date them but never commit. They usually leave when you don't commit. They want their perfect family. Men and women think differently. A man won't be like "oh I want my perfect family" he will be a man and do what needs to be done. He won't be asking for child support he will be raising that kid on his dime.


If a women has 3 baby daddies. Are you still going to blame the men ? Let's be serious, they have to be held accountable
Author:  HT23VWY67 [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
There's more single mothers out there than single dads. Yes, he will raise it on his own dime but a friend of mine, her mom paid child support for her.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 8:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Quote:
There's more single mothers out there than single dads. Yes, he will raise it on his own dime but a friend of mine, her mom paid child support for her.

I bet if custody of children was awarded to the dad more often, there wouldn't be a problem. I know I wouldn't ask for money from the mom. I'd tell her ass to get a job. I'll raise the kid and make sure he is doing well.
Author:  HT23VWY67 [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 8:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Quote:
Quote:
There's more single mothers out there than single dads. Yes, he will raise it on his own dime but a friend of mine, her mom paid child support for her.

I bet if custody of children was awarded to the dad more often, there wouldn't be a problem. I know I wouldn't ask for money from the mom. I'd tell her ass to get a job. I'll raise the kid and make sure he is doing well.
Most single mothers have jobs. I only know of one who didn't, out of 10. Lots of ill feelings on your part.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Mon Sep 05, 2016 8:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Don't date single mothers
Quote:
Quote:
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There's more single mothers out there than single dads. Yes, he will raise it on his own dime but a friend of mine, her mom paid child support for her.

I bet if custody of children was awarded to the dad more often, there wouldn't be a problem. I know I wouldn't ask for money from the mom. I'd tell her ass to get a job. I'll raise the kid and make sure he is doing well.
Most single mothers have jobs. I only know of one who didn't, out of 10. Lots of ill feelings on your part.
So then what's the problem ? She has a job. Good for her. If raising a child is hard for her give it to the dad. Simple. I'd just tell the judge , think of the children :cry: . I'd be raising that kid to be a role model citizen
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