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Shy girls... catch 22
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Author:  theoldman [ Thu Jun 23, 2016 7:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Shy girls... catch 22

This applies to first dates with shy girls: (I just met her and it's a first date and know absolutely nothing about her)

In my mind the one doing most of the talking is usually the one qualifying. What I have noticed is that with really shy girls they will usually not talk much because they are shy which makes it difficult to get them interested in me for future dates. In such a situation there are usually one of two ways it can go.

1. I will stay quiet waiting for her to open her mouth to qualify herself to me and hope we don't get trapped in a spiral of awkward silences. When these silences occur it might be difficult to bounce back to a good state of positive rapport. (I want to get or keep her in a fun state so that I can get her to laugh and have fun)

2. I will open my mouth and do my best to get her to laugh to get her comfortable. In doing this I'm talking about myself because I know absolutely nothing about her. I will also ask her questions to try and get her talking... (if she is very shy she is a closed book) A weakness I have is that I'm a chatterbox... which is bad because I need her to do most of the talking to get her to qualify herself to me. Not the other way around.

................

What is better? Being quiet to try and get her to do most of the talking so that she can qualify herself or me doing most of the talking to avoid awkward silences?

If she had fun and enjoyed herself then the second date and on is usually predictable - but I think me doing all or most of the talking is anti-seductive which is going to cost me because I'm going to have to work harder in the future to build attraction.

I just had a date with a really shy girl and I did most of the talking and with me being a chatterbox I know I'm screwing it up because one thing you don't do is give woman full disclosure about your life on the first date - yet, I got her to laugh a lot and have fun... but she did not qualify herself at all or was very mysterious where that is supposed to be me being mysterious so that she can qualify herself by asking me questions and doing most of the talking. (I got a second date with her and was actually amazed that she texted me first after the first date.)

Perhaps some woman are using their shyness as a sh*t test? If you pass you will create attraction - if not she will kick you to the curb.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Jun 23, 2016 8:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Shy girls... catch 22

Quote:
I did most of the talking and with me being a chatterbox
I have no doubt.

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