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| I Need Confidence https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=184788 |
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| Author: | Natedrake96 [ Mon Oct 20, 2014 3:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | I Need Confidence |
I am painfully unconfident when it comes to girls and I don't know why. Im pretty good looking and girls are always looking at me when I'm at work but I'm to shy to say anything and its killing me  . Can someone tell me what my problem is and how I can get some confidence. Also if anyone has any openers or patterns I can use at my work that'd be great, Im a host at a restaurant.
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| Author: | Chief [ Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I Need Confidence |
I'm sorry to tell you this, but you can only get real confidence through experience. If you're not experienced, there is no possible way to become confident BEFORE you try things. A black belt in a martial art is confident because he's had a ton of matches. He's won a bunch of times and he's lost a bunch of times. He's learned from his losses and he knows what he can do from his wins. A white belt cannot possibly be confident before taking his first step into the ring. You have no confidence simply because you are inexperienced. There's nothing wrong or abnormal about that. Anyone with little experience will have little confidence. And that's OK. That's normal. If a white belt wants to become more confident in a martial art, what does he need to do? He might be scared of stepping into the ring because he knows that he might lose, but he should get in the practice anyway. If someone is inexperienced, they may not have confidence, but they don't need confidence to get experience. A white belt doesn't need confidence to step into the ring to get experience. YOU don't need confidence to start approaching girls and flirting with them. The only thing that white belt needs is to not care about losing his matches. He needs to care more about learning from experience rather than caring about winning right away. The only thing you need is to not care about getting rejected. You need to care more about learning from experience rather than caring about getting the girl right away. TLDR Since you can't rely on confidence to talk to girls just yet, rely on outcome indifference and just focus on the process instead. |
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| Author: | ProfessorHardKnocks [ Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I Need Confidence |
Quote: I am painfully unconfident when it comes to girls and I don't know why. Im pretty good looking and girls are always looking at me when I'm at work but I'm to shy to say anything and its killing me
The way to get confidence, is to get laid; otherwise they'll know you're desperate, and it'll scare the fish. But if you are getting regular sex with a number of women, you'll be fairly indifferent-- and that's what attracts women, for many reasons (i.e. wanting what they can't have, wanting what they think other women are getting, thinking that you must be getting lots of other women, and in general having no fear of them whatsoever; in short, you won't be a wussy "nice guy" who women walk all over in the Friend-zone). . Can someone tell me what my problem is and how I can get some confidence. Also if anyone has any openers or patterns I can use at my work that'd be great, Im a host at a restaurant.Go for the sure thing, the easy lay, the low-hanging fruit etc. I've heard that it's best to have at least 5 or 6 women you're "dating" (i.e. DOING) at any given time. And if you want names of easy tail, just ask any woman who she thinks are the biggest sluts, and be sure to set your iPhone on "voice-record" because you'll get too many names to remember. Also the other way to confidence, is to realize that women have little-- it's mostly a facade. Don't believe for a minute what women want to be "treated as equals;" 90% of women always want a man who earns more, and I learned the above through experience; i.e. there was a woman who was an acquaintance (Ms. X), and I wanted her for along time, but couldn't say anything; but then I got some action with a different woman), and the next day I came onto Ms. X since I had confidence from the night before; she even refused, but I didn't CARE! In fact I was even glad that I finally got it over with; and in fact she thanked me for the compliment. The ironic thing about sex, is that the more you get, the more you CAN get; it's why so many married men have affairs, while single men often don't even get ONE woman (the infamous AFC). So the moral is: bang what you can bang. Also remember that women don't hold it against men for having lots of sex, like they do with women; in fact they figure that if a man DOESN'T get laid then there's something wrong with him. They say "men can't help it" etc, but in reality they WANT a man who has lots of sex, also for many reasons (i.e. it makes them feel less like sluts, they want to express their sluttiness through him, they want what other women are getting, they figure he must be a "great lover" etc. In contrast, a man who claims to "save himself for the right woman" is the male equivalent of a woman who has lots of sex "so she'll be GOOD at it for the right man," i.e. nobody wants it! In sum, you can read every book, watch every video, and take every class in seduction that you want; but like with everything else, it won't matter if you don't actually do it. |
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| Author: | Mr_International [ Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I Need Confidence |
Quote: I am painfully unconfident when it comes to girls and I don't know why. Im pretty good looking and girls are always looking at me when I'm at work but I'm to shy to say anything and its killing me
Opener: Make an observational statement. Just focus on making a statement, don't worry about what it is. You will probably mess it up, but you'll eventually catch onto something. If the girls are really looking at you the way you believe they look at you, it really won't matter what you say, just say something. . Can someone tell me what my problem is and how I can get some confidence. Also if anyone has any openers or patterns I can use at my work that'd be great, Im a host at a restaurant.If you have problems even getting a word out, start practicing observational statements on guys. Once you start understanding that you have the power to start a conversation, you apply it to women. So if the women think you're attractive, and they're just waiting on you to say something, once you lay your opener, you'll get the ball rolling. |
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