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Chronic Underachievement
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Author:  spooon [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Chronic Underachievement
i'm fed up with chronic underachievement with pick up. i can't say i've failed - how can u fail when u haven't even tried? in fact failure would be progress.

allow me to indulge u in a few things about me. no modesty here. i am good looking. time after time i can walk into a room and strike eye contact with the hottest chick there. that's before they learn i have a top education and a very well paid career. sorry i don't mean to come off as an arrogant tit.

i just can't bring myself to approach these women. i'm a very shy person with strangers. i look stiff and serious. it's driving me insane. i have all these weapons at my disposal and nothing to show for it. ive read all the pua stuff and watched the videos.

so what do i do? i'm going to a bar tonight. i don't need spectacular results. just some progress.

many thx in advance.
Author:  mOlis_pir3s [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
stating the obvious facts: you're too nervous. youre too worried about failure, your inner game is poor, and im guessing you dont have some canned material? if you do then use it..try it out at least

you need to look at this from another angle, when you approach a girl tonight for example, dont approach her bc you want to have sex..just approach her for a friendly talk..even if you get stuck in the ljbf cicrle. one thing i have learnt is by having girl-friends you learn how to talk to them easier..to me more confident in opening a conversation with a new one

so when you go to approach a girl tnight, if you're not with friends you can still talk to a girl and say hey im new in town or something, what do you think of this place bla bla bla or perhaps use some canned material but nothing too obvious (to yourself) that you want to get in her :P because if you make youself think that you're going for sex then you yourself will become uncomfortable again...

think about tonight as making friends, not lovers...try it out and let me know how it goes...you have nothing to lose by trying that out..
Author:  spooon [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
appreciate the response cube. you know if i could just strike up some conversations and go home empty handed i'd be content. having these women give me the eye and and going home without as much as a hello is really fucked up. thanks for the advice.
Author:  mOlis_pir3s [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 6:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
in your situation dude it would always help to have some friends around in the bar...because that way someway somehow you will meet some set..and when you do you can just talk away and possibly become AMOG without even knowing it..

are you going alone tonight?
Author:  spooon [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
yes alone. my friends aren't really into nightlife/bar scene. they are all married/attached. i cannot afford to make my going out conditional on my friends being free / willing. going alone seems daunting but being around friends hasn't exactly helped. i need the practice.
Author:  Jay Wa [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you are sarging alone, I think it would be a good idea to open up a set of guys first. The reason I say this is because it will be less intimidating for you. Also, you can build social proof and have some new friends to fall back on if something doesn't work out.

If you're new to the game (which it seems you are), you may want to find somebody (anybody) to go out with. It will take your mind off your approach anxiety and you can focus on just having a good time, rather than meeting women.

I would consider reading some books on inner game. . . check out the threads on this site that advise on such material. Personally, I would start with "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It is, in my opinion, the prerequisite to gaming.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your first attempts, don't be at all concerned with taking it anywhere. Go out with the intention of just talking to people, being friendly and having fun. You don't want their number, you don't want to have sex with them, you just want to hold a conversation.

Go up to a girl you see and just start talking about anything, whether it's the weather, the drink she's got, the game of darts in the corner, the guy across the room making an ass of himself trying to pick a girl up (this one is great, cause girls LOVE to talk about it and they'll let you in right away. If they ask you if you're trying to pick them up, just tell them not to rush things, tell them you're just looking for some good conversation).

You don't have to say something great, just say SOMETHING. These women are out at night, not because they wanted a drink, cause you can do that for much cheaper at home, or their friends that they came with's house. They're there to socialize, to talk to people, to watch people, to be near people, so give them what they're after and just say, "Hi. How's it going? My name's Spoon, what's yours?" Can't think of many openers that's gonna get her to want to know more about you than saying that, "Your name is SPOON?!" "Sure, my mom gave it to me, cause when I was a baby I was so tiny that my older brother put me in the cutlery drawer. I've got a cruel family, I mean who names their own son after something you eat with?!"

Good luck man and let me know how that line works, cause I swear to god if you use it they'll love it. :wink:
Author:  LOCO [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 9:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mate if i was like you and had a top education and well paid job i'd feel like the fucking man, especially if its a particulary interesting job. Right now that's my only problem, i've stalled big time in these areas and the thing that would push my inner game to max confidence would be in fact to have a good degree and a well paid job. What I'm saying is you've got good reason to be confident. You don't need these girls, you can do without them, after all you've got money coming out of your arse. Practice that frame of mind maybe.

Also i would definitely Rye Lee's line if my name was spoon. I might even pretend it is next time I'm out.
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