Well as you read I have developed my own technique to tackle that ugly day for the girl you're gaming, I know it's mostly a no-win situation since if you ask her out then thats it game over your intentions are clear and you are no longer a challenge and if you play hard to get and dont ask her out chances are you will probably be substituted with another man or telegraph very strong disinterest, in whichever way you have just lost.
NOTE: this technique will only work if she have high interest and high emotional investment in you.
From my own experience what you should do is that after flirting with the girl for a while (time depends on what kind of a girl is she i.e. religious, HG, virgin ...etc) and making her quite sure you are into her I always go for the LJBF all of a sudden but in an indirect way that keeps them wondering, usually I start with saying something along the lines of (you know? most of the girls I start talking to tend to start falling for me after some time... I hate that, it ruined lots of good friendships as I dont want to hurt them. I know the problem is that I tend to flirt with every girl I meet but its just my nature and i'm not going to change it. they take it the wrong way and think i'm interested and the shit begins. i'm glad you understood me at least.)
this way you have friendzoned her out of the blue, you're the wild card that she cant get, at the same time you have a green card to flirt as much as you want, she will get pretty confused and thrown off balance while you are there with the upper hand and established deniability. usually to add more deniability I tend to role-play husband and wife a few weeks before so that whenever I want I can still flirt as if she was my wife and I miss her, they will play along which is a huge IOI.
after that, take her out on valentine's day but dont ask her out on a date, let it be more in the frame of "you're single, and valentine is coming so lets head out somewhere and do something" or you could use my favorite if you're already role-playing tell her "hey you never did anything crazy in your life have you? well listen I just got an idea, how about this valentine you put the kids to sleep early and we go out? I know you missed your husband
and i'm getting back from my business trip soon.) on that day treat her like a queen, show your skills and sweep her off her feet, nothing you do will show that you are needy since its all just fun, flirt with her and tell her how beautiful she is but try to look like you're hiding a smile that its all a joke and you're just having fun. BUT NEVER pay for something expensive, its all in the presentation and showmanship NOT the amount of money... this WILL expose you. only pay for the meal and if you're going for the movies after always pay and say "I know we're married but you owe me for this... "
My personal style goes like this : I usually get them to the point where they cant take it no more and ask with all honesty "are you serious or acting?". what i do is when the day is almost over and we're walking or sitting in my car and building comfort what I would do is i would hold their hands and tell them "why cant you role-play??? you're no fun! look at me going all husband style and shit and you're there acting like a little girl! what the hell? show me what you can do, tell me you love me and make me believe it." she will try but you reply "nah you cant role-play, here let me show you how" hold her hands and stare her in the eyes and tell her you missed her or loved her, make up something good then follow it with "see? now your turn!" she'll try again so you could say "nope nothing yet, cant feel it
. i've been making you feel loved all night and I got nothing back, i'm disappointed! well how about you making up for me in another way? " she'll ask "what is it?" you point to your cheek and say "kiss me". It looks needy and telegraphing too much interest but hey you're just having fun and you have that covered with deniability, you established that you are NOT interested in a relationship and if she wants you thats all she can get from you, so if you have played your cards right then you're set. you are showing interest and true emotions yet she still gets hit with the fact that you're "role-playing" and she will wish if this was real
remember the last bits are not necessary, its just the role-playing and friendzoning stuff that matters.... after that its up to you and your style.
good luck.