I don't quite understand what your dilemma is. Is it about understanding what love is? Or do you want to know how to make a relationship last year after year?
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rarely I get attracted and want a very specific woman that I always get.
If you have read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, you will know there are girls who behave in certain ways that lights the spark in you. It is subtle things they do throgh their body language and how they talk, a.k.a. subcommunication. Subtle hand gestures, glances etc. These women are right for you.Being in love
...is a chemical process in your brain. Like a drug. It will last at most one or two years before it fades. There is nothing to do about it. Then there comes a choice, do you want to invest and live with this person?
Love
To me, love is not one thing. It is not a single feeling. It is a mixture of things like trust, friendship, being happy together etc.
Make a relationship last
You need to be unpredictable and surprise your girlfriend from time to time. You can surprise her from day to day with small things, make food for her, take a romantic bath with her... It is up to your imagination. On a weekly or monthly basis you can take her out to a restaurant. Occasionally you have to come up with more dramatic surprises - take her on a trip, propose to her, buy her something expensive...
This require effort and makes life interesting for her. But remember, she needs to do the same to you. A relationship is about give and take.