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Shit to tell girls to get an emotional spike out of them
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Author:  phangan [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Shit to tell girls to get an emotional spike out of them
PLEASE do not comment. Please don't ask questions. Just type funny shit to throw at girls to get them confused and push their buttons. I'll start. For every good one, I will add one of my own. Please only write here what I'm asking, not other shit.... please......... (I know it's useless to ask but lets try):

"Listen your mother called, she said I'm invited for lunch on Sunday. I
told her I'm breaking up with you on Saturday so it's a no go. She
started crying and said that you told her, YOUR MOTHER, that you think
I'm the guy you want to have babies with. So then she put your brother
on the phone and he started begging me not to leave you. Can you
believe it? Jeez that guy... I love him. Anyway, I'll be honest with you. The sex is great. But you don't really offer me anything else... I know tons of girls who are better than you in bed and when you go down on me - you bite me with your teeth which I hate"

Your turn. Only original stuff please that you make up on the spot, no DD copy paste shit, if it's a spin on something, like above - add to it, build on it more. No one liners, at least 3-4 lines.
Author:  phangan [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
"You know what is the "string theory"? I have a theory that if I pull this string, your whole shirt will come off. Can we try it?"
Author:  phangan [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Listen, seriously, do you believe in love from first sight? .... because I don't, I think it's retarded.... and this is definitely not a case like that... I mean, I kind of dislike you already, but it's OK, I'll give you a few more minutes to charm me. Behind your -COLOR- little evil eyes I see some potential. Potential to what I don't know yet... you might be a psycho, or maybe a great mother, or maybe both.... psycho mother! That would make a good female super hero. Anyway I don't know... I'm not sure I want to know... OK fuck it you scare me, I'm leaving. Wait, no I can't leave..... I think I love you, oh my god I love you! Shit and I didn’t believe in love from first sight just like 1 minute ago! oh wait it was just a burp”

Ok that's it, I'm not giving more of my shit for free. Start typing.
Author:  MrBreeze [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Interesting stuff man.... Who so dark tho? Its like an ultra neg! Im cool with a disqualifier but it seems like youre carrying it a bit far...or I dont understand where youre headed with this...
Author:  Bruce Wayne PUA [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
I like it.. Going off on rants like that can be fun and amusing for both of you if you have the personality to do so. (I do).
Author:  Bratza [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 10:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
after 5 beers all the ugly grlz go home, what the hell r u still doin here... to a hb9 or 10
Author:  phangan [ Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
after 5 beers all the ugly grlz go home, what the hell r u still doin here... to a hb9 or 10
Edit - can't believe that this is my 500th post!

GOOD!

My turn. I will give one for each of yours. There are 10,000 of you and only one me so it's a bad deal but fuck it. So:

"You know, you remind me of my little sister when she was 9, whenever she farted she'd have this really cute smile and it's the exact smile that you're doing now. You didn't fart, did you?"
Author:  NikAFC [ Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Whenever a girl doesn't agree with you or say you're suggesting a time to see eachother and she says she's busy.
"Listen I'm free on date. You better make up some time for me or I'm gonna come and beat you up!"
Author:  Beast 45 [ Sat Sep 29, 2012 1:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Do you know what a Mayfly is? basically its this bug that hatches without a mouth, it's got no mouth, no stomach all it has is a massive boner and an insatiable sex drive. I spends it's one day on earth flying and fucking until it dies in satisfied agony. Doesn't that sound great? Just constantly fucking until you die? That's a perfect life right?
Author:  lookingforladies [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 5:28 am ]
Post subject: 
Every time I pee, it smells like skittles. I've been looking for someone to check the taste.
Author:  Beast 45 [ Mon Oct 01, 2012 8:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Every time I pee, it smells like skittles. I've been looking for someone to check the taste.
Ewwww! Shit man that is bad!
Author:  nobelsito [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have a great relationship with my grandfather the fucker is so horny and funny. Always making all the ladies laugh, especially the hot nurses lol. Today while I was driving he called to try his latest joke on me it went like this ....Listen now my boy! A girl went to the pharmacy. She said to the clerk "I need 6 condoms for my motha". The clerk :) and say's why does your motha not come and get them herself. The girl responds "Because dady is on vacation!" ............Another! I said you sick bastard, he says Look! (always starting his jokes with a loud alpha command like Listen and Look) There was this couple and they had an argument and his wife threw him out of the house. He left and went to a nearby bar where his friends where. He was a popular guy there and a guy says hey what happened that you're lugging two suitcases around? He responds me and my wife had an argument and she kicked me out of the house. The patron says we'll if my wife did that to me like that, I'd cut her in pieces. He said, we'll what do you think I got in these 2 suitcases! :)" The girl will txt back LMAO I see where you get your humor from now or in person start laughing.
Give it up for my gramps, 84 and still macking, love the guy!
Author:  VietnameseProdigy [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
"You're a whitetrash dead beat whore." -RSD Julien
Author:  Br3ezy [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:53 am ]
Post subject: 
right after you get her number, say Ill text ya somethin dirty so you know its me

in a playful way
Author:  phangan [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
I took this from somewhere, don't remember where. Keep it coming:

"When I was young, I didn’t know how to get laid... now I know, but when I was young... I don’t know how I did it. I was 20, and I met this cute girl in a club and we went back home together... and then we were kissing and fooling around, and I she was really into it, pulling my hair and stuff... but then I put my hand on her ass and she moves it away... ok... then we continue kissing, and I try again, I put my hand on her ass and she moves it... so OK, I leave her alone and we just go to sleep. So after a few weeks I see her again. And she comes to me and we talk... and then she says “you know... why didn’t we have sex that night?” and I say “I don’t know... you didn’t want to... you kept stopping me” and she says “oh yes I really wanted... I just wanted you to really be aggressive, I get turned on when a guy gets frustrated and just grabs me and fucks me...” so I said “you could have just told me” and she says “no... it must be real....” and I’m thinking “wat are you out of your mind?? I’m going to rape you and hope that you are into that shit? “ "
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