... is to DEVELOP A STRONG CHARACTER.
I believe that this is what the chicks are talking about when they want us to be ourselves. To get most of it is to develop a strong character.
In HS, it is be very attractive.
It takes congruency to maximum.
You only must have balls to do it,
Attitudes, beliefs;
I can never be successfully someone else. That is why
I am being myself.
It is because of this why I don't have to think about irrelevant things and can be comfortable and spontaneous.
Because of this comfort I feel free to say what is on my mind.
Who dislikes me dislikes my character (not my behavior) so he can never be truly my friend.
I will not waste any time pretending that I am someone else just so people would like me.
I will spend this time to meet new people who will like me for who I am.
I will also spend this time to strengthen my ongoing relationships (social and romantic) because they help me define who I truly am.
Actions to take to develop
List your best qualities on a list of paper. List the worst on a other one. List the "just qualities" (neutral) on a third list of paper. Take your time, carefully thinking it out. Find a reason (in your mind) why is this quality true. List your beliefs about world. The controversial themes too - abortion, death penalty, racism, homophobia, religion, anything. Be true and sincere. Don't be what society wants you to be, list what you truly deep in your heart think is right. Don't be afraid, it is better to realize some dirt now than twenty years later. Also, this dirt will hardly go away so accept it. You have some good qualities that at least even the score. List your inner beliefs about yourself. Are you attractive physically? Do you have an attractive personality? Are you good in sports? How about your confidence? Social skills? Skills with women? What do you do best and what do you suck at? PC's? Driving? Math? Anything counts.Now look at it. Is that truly you? Or someone you want to be? If the answer is "someone I wannabe" write the lists again.
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Now that you have couple of lists, you can start making a person. Make a character with your looks, wits, beliefs, and anything listed before. Imagine him in your mind. Relaxed, calm.
Here is the big surprise. It is you. You in your essence. Implement this person into you, act like he would under your circumstances. Feel somehow for this character, calm, true, and excellent. He is the true good person that was waiting inside to come out. If you ever doubt you decision, think what he would do. What you would and should do.
And don't try to fit this you into some group of people (intellectuals, bikers, rebels, wussies, whatever). You have just made a new group; *put-your-name-here.*
Stay loyal to this person, as he is always the only one who will never ever leave you. If you want to change yourself, make the change to that character; and be like him. If someone wants your opinion, say him the truth (maybe except for the "white lies"). You will see that this persona shall come to you naturally, as if it was you all the time during your life.
It will take some time and it is worth every second.
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We have made something very valuable here today; you now have my permission to rest and think about that persona, implement (imagine) him into your everyday actions - and absolutely unexpected ones.
Carpe Diem.