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Dealing with compliments (to me)
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Author:  coolguy9999 [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Dealing with compliments (to me)
There seems to be a small section of the female population cursed with a gene that means that they find me irresistibly attractive to the point where they feel compelled to complement me. but I'm not sure how to respond.

A few examples would be: "whats a good looking guys like you doing without a girl on his arm ?" or simply "you are a very attractive man"

I guess I don't want to come across as undeserving nor as overly arrogant. I'm guessing I should not respond in kind at last not directly.
Author:  SKY007 [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
i have the same problem!
i actually dont know what to say, other then just pretending i didnt hear it and talk about something else

its not a sincere compliment of her, its a shit test, to see if you only have the looks but not the rest of the personality. "he's good looking, but there must be something wrong with him, he must be overcompensating with his looks for some insecurity in his personality"

i just always take it as if she wants me, although i know its a shit test. this should be your frame anyway, whatever you say.

but we can't answer cocky, because they already think we are arrogant because of looks (and the frame that we want to set). it will make things worse, even when its cocky&FUNNY, they can't stand any cockiness at that moment, it will simply always be arrogant

we should solve it once and for all with good lines

lets try...

HB: whats a good looking guy like you doing without a girl on his arm ?
YOU: you know what, i gotto go, [hand over your phone] punch in your number for me (ignore the question and just ask the number, in a way like: you have power, i have power, we should hang out together)

HB: you are a very attractive man
YOU: ?? same??

who's good at this? help us out....
Author:  justright [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm not 100% but I think I remember Style mentioning the only way to really react to a compliment is simply with a thank you. Anyone else remember?
Author:  SKY007 [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
HB: you are an attractive man
YOU: beauty is just in the eye of the beholder, if i may quote shakespear

this is a very humble answer, and it shows there is more to you >>> you know stuff
maybe this is the key thing we should do, show them that we are not just superfiscial, because thats how they think about us.
Author:  SKY007 [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
yes you can dismiss it with a "thank you", but then you have to either start another subject directly or talk about the compliment-subject that she opened. (otherwise the conversation ends, same thing like a womans says thank you and then it all ends)
she is actually trying that you validate yourself (proving that there is more to you). you should not proof it directly, but say something smart that proofs your personality without giving the impression that you are validating yourself to her by that.
Author:  rodeo [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok this is definately a subject that i have no real business getting involved with being that a very very small percentage of women would ever say something like that to me.... but i could have a go and see what anyone else says....

why couldnt' you just take her arm in yours.... and walk somewhere else... just say something like "do you think you fit here?"
you know take the opportunity to isolate her..........
i dont' know personally if i ever recieved such a complement / shit test... I would laugh thank her as if she made a good joke.... and look for an opener for something else....

but there are a high percentage of great looking gals who if they don't really dought their good looks... they put up a great front....
why can't a guy do the same thing...
you know act as if you were some dumpy kid in hs... and you still have that view of yourself....
Author:  Starbuck [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing with compliments (to me)
Quote:
There seems to be a small section of the female population cursed with a gene that means that they find me irresistibly attractive to the point where they feel compelled to complement me. but I'm not sure how to respond.

A few examples would be: "whats a good looking guys like you doing without a girl on his arm ?" or simply "you are a very attractive man"

I guess I don't want to come across as undeserving nor as overly arrogant. I'm guessing I should not respond in kind at last not directly.
Have you considered asking them out? Or asking them for their number?

Or just saying 'thank you' and moving on if not interested?

Of course you could always 'ignore' them and hope they walk over and rip your shirt off or something? :lol:

These are IOI's, and usually an attempt to open you.

But then if it's your moms friend it could just mean they are being nice to you. Or maybe she's kinky or something. :lol:
Author:  SKY007 [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
another difficult one:

HB: you must have a lot of ladies around you / hang out with a lot of girls
YOU: ???? (you can't say thank you)
Author:  jjjoness [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing with compliments (to me)
Quote:
A few examples would be: "whats a good looking guys like you doing without a girl on his arm ?" or simply "you are a very attractive man"
Yes you could always just say thank you, but i've always tried to stay away from that. The reason is because if you say thank you and do not return a compliment, I always thought that was just bad manners. What you could do is say thank you, but then downplay you attractive quality. For example:

girl: "you are a very attractive man."

you: Thank you, but sometimes im not exactly brad prit. I mean, I just love to get lazy every once in a while and just stay in my flannel pajamas all day, sit in front of the tv watching re-runs of seinfeld, and eat like.... 10 humongous bowls of ice cream. How about you?

Do you see where im coming from, you are VLVing (verbalization of low value). But not in a way to 'lower' your own value. You are showing your vulnerability. Well, at least its worked for me. Any questions?
Author:  SKY007 [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing with compliments (to me)
Quote:

These are IOI's, and usually an attempt to open you.
Yes, but these are IOI's with a built-in shit test, it happens to us sometimes within the first few minutes you meet a new HB. (So we are not talking about your mom's friend)

I usually say "I have to go, give me your number" at this point. (to avoid going wrong with some stupid answer), this usually works but is not guaranteed > The problem is that I didnt validate them yet, they told me i'm attractive, i ask number, but why the hell would i be interested in them. Works only if they get the "i have power, you have power" impression.
Author:  Starbuck [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing with compliments (to me)
Quote:
Quote:

These are IOI's, and usually an attempt to open you.
Yes, but these are IOI's with a built-in shit test, it happens to us sometimes within the first few minutes you meet a new HB. (So we are not talking about your mom's friend)

I usually say "I have to go, give me your number" at this point. (to avoid going wrong with some stupid answer), this usually works but is not guaranteed > The problem is that I didnt validate them yet, they told me i'm attractive, i ask number, but why the hell would i be interested in them. Works only if they get the "i have power, you have power" impression.
Yeah sure. nothing is guaranteed (except a membership to the PMZ) or 100%.., except doing nothing.

If it was we'd be selling it.

What's wrong with your moms friend? 8)

It's a joke. :lol:

I think most guys here would gladly deal with such problems, as what to do when chicks walk up to you and tell you you're basically hot stuff. Most chicks lack this kind of confidence around attractive men. Their cues are much more subtle.
Author:  The Wild One [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Smile and say thanks. Thats all you have to do.
Author:  coolguy9999 [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 7:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just to clarify, I usually get these sorts of compliments either before (if its an online initial contact) or after the initial face-to-face, typically in a text or MSN message/email. Do get ones during a face-to-face occasionally but they are usually a bit more low key e.g. "your photos don't do you justice" or "you have nice eyes".
Author:  LuckyMan [ Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
if a girl compliments you, one thing to say is, "wow, slow down, i don't even know your name yet!"

then you just play the game normally from there.
Author:  anutharound [ Mon Dec 31, 2007 8:53 am ]
Post subject: 
I used to do cocky funny to compliments, but these days I find that they are arrogant and just make it hard for people to relate to me. In order to better relate to them I agree, then disqualify.

What is disqualify you ask. Well I will take what girls say to you as an example.

Her: you are a very attractive man.
Me: I agree, but you should see me in the morning, I look like the beast of of beauty and the beast.
Her: giggles


Her: whats a good looking guys like you doing without a girl on his arm ?
Me: heh I guess I am good looking right now, but you should see me after work my face is all sweaty and my hair looks like a tornadoe went through it.
Her: aww really mine looks like that sometimes too! (see how she can easily relate to you)

Using disqualification shows that you know you aren't perfect, but that you are a genuine and honest guy. I may put a larger post on this topic sometime as I feel that many of you may be trying so hard to dhv and shit that you begin to come off as a very fake person.
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