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| Impatience and dry spells https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=100292 |
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| Author: | Txacoli [ Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Impatience and dry spells |
Hi guys, I'm again in need of some advice I guess. I've been experimenting with my game a lot lately. After getting decent results with the indirect approach, I wanted to try approaching more directly. At first it seemed it was working but then my results plummeted and it resulted in the longest dry spell ever (about two months). I'm not sure why this has happened, but I suspect I became really impatient with girls. I just can't seem to play the game like I used to and it's fucking with my head. I make really good progress with the direct opening, but then it stalls before closing the deal. I just keep screwing up by moving too fast I guess.. I feel really annoyed at my self, I feel like I should be doing more push-pull, but I'm trying to find a shortcut and close faster. Have any of you had something similar happen to you? I'm at the point of just taking a break from everything, but I'm afraid it will set me back a lot. I'm not sure if my game plan is to blame or just my general attitude towards women (not being eager enough to put in the time and the effort to game them properly). I never thought I'd need motivation to game women, but it seems like I do now. Any constrictive advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks guys! |
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| Author: | GeorgePH [ Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Impatience and dry spells |
Yes, dry spells happen. I guess I wouldn't really care in your position because I don't prioritize women in my life. I advise you do the same. Don't focus on having sex. You don't need it. Just have fun, keep working on your skills and you'll get girls. The more you stress about shit like this, the less you get laid. I hope that makes sense. TL:DR - focus on having fun and not having sex for more results. |
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| Author: | Txacoli [ Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
That's very true. I know I don't need it, but I do like having it  But you are right, I figured that out as well and I don't prioritize women, I was just wondering if anybody had a similar experience because I began to doubt my "strategy", just like in a poker downswing, when you begin to play differently because of the bad beats. I guess I shouldn't doubt myself and just focus on other things for the time being. Thanks for the reply.
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| Author: | Don Draper [ Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah, I am familiar with that feeling. I remember feeling that 'burnout' about this one girl I couldn't get, I felt that screwing with my life to such an extent that it made me want to lock myself in a room and just think of ways to get her. Not a happy situation to be in, in short. The thing is that you got accustomed to the initial successes of your direct approach. Suddenly, you found that you could get women by being upfront with them, you didn't have to deploy hints and indirect advances, and you loved feeling like that. But, after that wave has finished, you find that you are not willing to go back to your old ways. You want success and you want it fast. Or direct, whichever you would prefer. It's as if you got a taste of a drug, now when you can't get it, it drives you crazy. That 'taking the break' idea? It's not as bad as it sounds. I had to break from that girl, to get myself back, if that makes sense. 'Cause women aren't everything. There are not even the ultimate goal of life. You have to prioritize your well being before everything else. That's what you should always remember. Take your time, sort out your problems, if there exist any and get back into the game when you feel you are 'ready'. I'll assure you, whatever be the setback, you will still be far, far ahead of most people when it comes to pick up, just because you *know* and they do not. Good luck. |
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| Author: | GeorgePH [ Thu Sep 01, 2011 7:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Impatience and dry spells |
Hey.. I too would like to add something. I'd skimmed your message when I was replying and misunderstood your main point. There are times when you feel like giving up.. Man, I know that feeling so well. The feeling you get when you've made that initial burst in progress and then things just aren't going like they used to. A part of that reason is, you are on an emotional high for some time when you're trying something new. I remember in my first weeks of PUA I was having better results than in months 2-3 because I had that emotional high. After it washed off, I had to work harder to get results. Another reason is fatigue. When you do too much gaming, you do get tired, just like with anything else. In the gym, I work very hard for 6-8 weeks and then I take 7-10 days off to eat well, recover and get my motivation back. I think having the same approach to PUA is healthy. If you're in a bit of a rut, just stop going to the field for a few days. Do something fun with your friends; try a new sport; meditate, read a book. Whatever recharges your batteries. If you keep doing something you're not enjoying, you're really gonna get to the point where it's not fun anymore. I know a guy who joined the community, did hundreds of approaches and about 100 dates in 3 months, and burned out and did nothing for another 6-8 weeks after that because he was burned out and couldn't/wouldn't even talk to girls. Fortunately, he made a recovery and ended up being my instructor, but he told me about 10 000 times not to make the same mistake  . Don't be afraid to take a small break. What I said in the previous post is still true: women aren't that important. It's nice to have them, but what's most important is having fun and your own life. Keep us posted on what you do. |
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| Author: | Txacoli [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Your spot on Don Draper, it helps a lot to see this kind of reasoning because it's sometimes hard to pin-point things like these and when someone else explains it the way you just did, everything becomes perfectly clear. Also, GeorgePH, it's very true what you say about an emotional high! I already feel so much better just having realized those couple of things, thank you a lot for your insightful answers guys. I guess I somehow put my ego before my wellbeing, just accumulating "conquests" and forgot to just enjoy my life. In the process I lost my "I don't give a f**ck" attitude and my results just dropped. But just making a conscious decision not to prioritize women makes me feel carefree and upbeat. I started focusing on some of my projects more and feel really good about it. I'm not going to stop gaming, but I will stop sarging actively for now and just enjoy the company of women without being result-oriented. It's just funny how when I finally seemed to kill the AFC that emerged in each and every one of my LTRs, a different kind of AFC managed to emerge in totally casual and emotionally not involved relationships. What I mean, I feel frustrated that the outcomes still bother me. So thanks for reminding me of some important things
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| Author: | Shyler [ Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Impatience and dry spells |
Quote: Yes, dry spells happen. I guess I wouldn't really care in your position because I don't prioritize women in my life. I advise you do the same. Don't focus on having sex. You don't need it.
This is, ironicaly, one of the best advices. Try to not care about girls anymore, and prioritize having good times with friends and the things you're good at or want to do. Try to see for girls imperfections and superficiality, it will stronger your feelings of not caring about them anymore. Just go out in bars with no dancefloors, with your good male friends, drink beer and have good times. Do many other activities. Keep doing this for months. Be proud that you're a wanker and don't need sex.Just have fun, keep working on your skills and you'll get girls. The more you stress about shit like this, the less you get laid. I hope that makes sense. TL:DR - focus on having fun and not having sex for more results. After a while, you will get the confident, laid back, mysterious and cool attitude which girls like. They will try to qualify themselfs for you and you can punish or reward them for how they're acting towards you. |
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