Yeaaah it was a nice read indeed.
And we dutch surely speak good English
Most of us atleast....
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| Let's start this again and see it through this time!! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=91262 |
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| Author: | Rhythic [ Sun May 08, 2011 9:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Let's start this again and see it through this time!! |
I've not gamed in some time because been juggling other pursuits and confused about where I want to go with pick up. But I've now made a firm decision to consistently cold approach game twice a week and post it hear to view my progress. Last night I was reminded why I should game and I'm more inspired than ever. Nothing groundbreaking happened but it was definitely a fine step in the right direction and something to build on. My game isn't too bad as I've studied and applied a lot of material and had certain amounts of success, though I wouldn't say I'm at PUA level yet. I've lacked in consistently applying my knowledge. I'm also extremely rusty where I've been focusing on music rather and I haven't practiced my cold approach game in ages. Despite my being rusty, I actually found a big improvement in my game at the beginning stages, largely because I'm finding that I'm sparking conversations without any big pre-rehersed openers and I'm doing this with very little effort. I think this is probably down to an improvement in my inner game. My thoughts and conversational threads seem to just flow. I went out with a local aspiring PUA from this forum, 'The Omega Man' and a friend of his who's new to this pick up thing. Generally most the sarging I've done in fairly recent times has been on the solo so it was a cool learning experience and good for me to field with them, as I find going out with people on the same sort of path inspires me more to approach unlike solo game. They're a lot less experienced than me, practically brand new in fact, so it was also an opportunity for me to do a bit of demonstration and teaching for beginners which I found all the more inspiring. We first hit a wetherspoons pub as a starting point to talk about our plan for the night. I bought a drink and we began chatting. I was surprised to find that there were a lot of hotties in the building. Surprising for a wetherspoons. My gaming began when a girl I had recently k-closed a couple of weeks back walked passed me. I immediately called her and we started chatting, it was a great warm up gaming a girl you've already got a level of attraction with. I eventually decided to cut the conversation off early by pushing her away telling her to go and get a drink. I had some cold gaming to practice and besides I think she may well have been out with her boyfriend. I was a bit nervous as I'd not done any proper night game in ages and both these guys were very nervous, but that was the extra jolt I needed. The Omega Man started talking about someones birthday and as he said this, I noticed a girl in a group with a big pink badge. I immediately opened her with 'Hey is that you're birthday badge?' 'Yea,' 'Awesome it's you're birthday, HIGH FIVE!' This sparked a conversation off talking about where they're planning on going tonight and talk of another bar that was closing. I really found conversation seemed to flow so easily, I didn't need any routines, if she said something I knew where to take the next thread. I had rapport very quickly and there was a point where we're talking about the bar Reflex. I said, 'I got put off going in there from the moment that bar opened… Just seeing a giant picture of The Hoff in mid-pelvic thrust outside spoiled it for me.' 'Hey the Hoff's a legend! I'm a lifeguard so me and Hoff are like this (crosses her fingers).' 'You're a lifeguard! That's quality, how many people have you saved? Have you ever had to rescue a fat walrus of a person?' Laughs… Things went well but the conversation started to fizzle when other people got involved but I left the set with the likelihood that we will meet in another bar. I went back to my 2 wings. They asked me if they should have jumped in at some point. I said, 'No that might have spoiled it.' I then apologised as that was a bit harsh, they probably wouldn't have spoiled it, but I'm so used to sarging alone that I felt that two men trying to get involved in a set that I opened would kill it especially with them being beginners. Perhaps team sarging is something else I need work on. We moved on to the next bar. I set a plan up for us. As we were a group of 3 guys and the bar we were going too didn't know any of us. I decided we would go in separately. I'd go in first alone and then these guys would go in shortly after. Bouncers normally have a problem with 3 guys going in together that they don't know because they hold little value to them. I could get annoyed by this as guys are often the ones going and buying the drinks so in a sense they do hold value, but I rather just play the game with the hand you're dealt rather than try and fight it. The plan was to initially social proof the bar as soon as we entered the room. I wanted to start off small for the 3 of us. These guys were new and I was very rusty and wanted to ease myself in. I said, 'Once we go in I want you guys to approach 5 people or groups and I want you to simply ask them a question. I don't care what the question is, it can be, do you know where the toilets are? I don't if they're male or female, preferably go for groups with at least one female in. The most important thing is that it's 5 strangers. You don't have to stay in set, I just simply want you to get comfortable speaking to people you don't know. It's all about baby steps.' I feel people tend to overcomplicate things when opening. I sure have, I end up making myself more nervous thinking I gotta ask something more glamourous and try and seduce these women off the back, or try and appear extra confident by making statements like, 'You guys seem like fun.' Personally I love the functional opener when social proofing. Asking a simple question like 'Do you guys have any idea if there's an art gallery in town that's open tomorrow?' works perfect for me. I'm comfortable using it and it's pretty much zero risk. I find opinion openers come across a bit too contrived in the beginning, but they can be good to transition with or when you already have rapport. The plan was to step into the place approach 5 people, then meet at the corner of the bar to get a drink. This would be sufficient to generate at least a little bit of social proof for the 3 of us. As soon as I walked in I approached a mixed 2 set. I asked a genuine question I wanted to know the answer to, 'Do you guys have any idea if there's an art gallery in town that's open tomorrow?' I spoke first and foremost to the guy so as not to come across like I was sharking the girl. 'Sorry mate I'm not from Southampton.' Girl butts in 'I'm from Southampton!' 'Oh cool, where you actually from?' 'Crewe mate.' 'Do you know what, this is a bit ridiculous but I don't know where Crewe is?' We started a conversation about Crewe and how it's different from Southampton, I then began talking to the girl. 'You're from Southampton, HIGH FIVE!' Things went well, the 3 of us even started dancing, but I decided to press on. I wanted to social proof and I knew I could speak to them again. I spoke to 4 other sets. This included 2 guys from Pompey and a 2 set of hot Asian girls. Nothing really happened there as I pretty much just made statement to them and didn't press any further. There was another good set on the way to the bar. A big 5 set of 4 girls 1 guy. I addressed them all and asked the same gallery question. As I asked I noticed they all had some crazy fluorescent face paint thing going on. I straight away shifted to ask about that. 'Why you guys all got the face paint on? You look like you're about to descend into a funky battle boogie! I feel left out.' Laughs, 'Haha no it's her birthday.' They all point to the birthday girl 'A great happy birthday missy!' Brief conversation and then I moved on to the bar knowing full well I'd social proofed pretty well with a number of sets I can now re-open warm. I met up with The Omega Man and his wing (we'll call him Dave) and asked how they got on. Omega Man had done some approaches which was great. Dave came in and realised that he already knew some of the people in there and played it a bit safe by only speaking to them. It was still good in my opinion because he could have used the social proof he already had as leverage for meeting more people. Or he could have introduced me and Omega Man to them. In fairness he did introduce us to one girl. I bought a drink and realised we'd been just stood still talking for a bit too long so I began approaching again. I saw a group dancing which included one very tall guy. I immediately started talking to him in passing saying, 'Didn't the DJ booth used to be where we're standing right? Hasn't it moved to the middle?' 'I don't know, I'm not from around here.' 'There's hardly any locals in the place! What's going on?' I started walking away and then said, 'Hey where you from?' 'Guess.' 'Um, you're well spoken so I'm guessing Oxford.' 'No I'm Dutch.' Laughs, 'You speak damn good English, I've just paid you the biggest compliment.' I moved on. I'm quite happy speaking to girls and guys, I feel far more sociable that way and I feel more genuine, then just going in and sharking girls. I think this definitely comes across, and means sets open up to me far better with minimal effort. I made other approaches including a couple of the groups I'd opened earlier both in the present and in wetherspoons. It felt go to just be having conversation with new people, pick up or not. There were certainly missed opportunities to spit some game and pursue things further and this comes more apparent to me as I write this and think about all the sets I opened that night. I went back to my 2 wings. They wondered where I'd got too. I said I'd been approaching. 'You guys should have done the same. In future if I disappear, that's your queue to start approaching strangers too.' As we were stood talking I noticed a couple of birds looking at Dave and moved closer to him. He's not a bad looking guy, just very new to the world of pick up and lacks a lot of confident when speaking to strangers. I told him to go and speak to her. 'You don't have to say much, but say something. Simply walk up to her and ask her question. It can be anything. But seriously mate, speak to her. She's into you and wants you to approach her. He couldn't pluck up the courage as he was too nervous. Despite her walking right by him, purposely brushing passed him and making a teasing comment to him about treading on her foot. A blatant IOI on her part and a come on from her saying 'speak to me!' It was frustrating to see, but I really felt for the guy. I've been through that situation in the past too. I still do from time to time. I should have been a better wingman and opened the girls, then introduced them to my 2 wings. I decided that we leave and start somewhere fresh. We went into the next bar with the same aim as before. Approach 5 strangers and report back. I didn't actually manage this because the first set I went into went very well indeed. I approached a 2 set of 1 guy and a girl that looked like a couple. I asked the same gallery question because I hadn't heard a decent answer to that question all night. Both turned out to be students. Nice people indeed. Again they weren't local and didn't know Southampton well. Conversation really seemed to flow for me. As was the case all night. I got talking to her, after speaking mainly to the guy. She said, 'I'm from Sheffield.' 'Really never been there. How's it compare to Southampton|? Aren't people friendlier up north?' And so forth. Conversation flowed further and I noticed the girl was giving me IOI's. I got the vibe that both these two weren't actually a couple. I decided to test the waters by getting an opinion on a relationship question. 'Hey as you're a girl and guy I've just met, I'd love to get your opinion on something…' The guy started giving me a look, which I read as if he knew I was gonna ask a 'game' question like 'jealous girlfriend'. I was gonna ask the '2 part kiss opener' because I can never remember the 'jealous girlfriend' one. Due to my paranoia I Instead decided to ask a more genuine question and probably a better one, on something that did actually happen to a friend of mine. 'Is it bad if you're in a relationship, and the girl your with let's her guy friends sleep in bed with her on occasion when you're not there.' This question worked great and I found out a lot of information namely that these to were just best friends and not an item. I also found out that this girl had a boyfriend. But from a few things she was saying you could tell it really wasn't a solid relationship. We started talking about hair to which I was getting major IOI's from this girl with her continuously stroking my bald head in an arousing fashion. I said hey I gotta go but you know what, you guys are fun, it's my birthday next week you guys should come out. As it turned out the girl actually works in one of the bars. She offered me guest list to the bar she works in and also free champagne. I'm thinking fucking hey! I'd already booked another bar for my birthday night but that's a damn good offer! She then gives me her number without me even asking. You'd think it'd be buttery goodness from here on out but sadly not. I ballsed the good vibe up towards the end of the night and I'll explain how a shortly. The guy walked away and me and the girl kept talking and doing a brief bit of dancing. I kind of got the vibe that I should go in for the k-close but the bf situation made me second guess. We hugged and I kissed her on the cheek then we parted ways. I went through the bar area, with an 'I've done well mummy smile' on my face and reported back to my wings. The Omega Man had opened some sets. Dave still hadn't. I basically stood by him and made sure he asked a stranger a question. The fact that he finally did something was awesome despite his nervousness. It didn't go anywhere, I still considered it a huge step for him. He was putting himself down saying, 'Well nothing happened…' 'That's not the point mate. Your not trying to pick her up. It's about baby steps. You do what you haven't done before, then the next time you push the boundaries a little more again. Besides, you're in a bar for christ sake, it's unlikely you're gonna meet the marriage material women of your dreams here. Never put yourself down for attempting something new whatever the outcome. It's about your actions in the moment that make you a champion not not the outcome of something first time you try it!' I gave him a pat on the back then we went to the the other bar in the building. I was trying to focus on them a bit more because I'd already opened a load of people and had one good success. I tried to get them both to approach but they were both too nervous. I wanted them to at least do one or 2 more each before we called it a night. I pointed out a group of 2 couples and tried to get Dave to simply sake them a question. Anything, even if it's 'do you know where the toilets are?', but he couldn't pluck up the courage because they were talking. It was a great education for me on how limiting beliefs hold us back and made me think about the times I do this myself on different scales. I offered to open them myself to show him what to do. He said yes so I went in. At this time they were actually all hugging but it didn't matter to me. I simply asked the same gallery question I'd been asking most the night. It opened up perfectly, the guy opened up to me well and I managed to have a good conversation with his apparent gf. It was great to actually do a good demonstration for the guys. Not in a show off sense but more as a way of showing them what's actually possible. After speaking to the girl I noticed the successful set I opened earlier was stood at the bar. The girl I number closed immediately gave me a big hug and the 3 of us started dancing. I moved on after that and furiously tried to get the Omega Man and Dave to do 1 more approach each. It was difficult especially for Dave but finally after some harsh pushing I managed to get him to do 1 more approach. After that I bigger them both up and we went on home. I mentioned earlier that I ballsed it up with the girl I number closed. I'll tell you how I think it happened. We went to the other bar in the same building. When we got there I noticed the girl and guy were there at the bar. I was talking to Dave and Omega Man and pointing out people to approach. This probably looked obvious to outsiders watching and maybe looked a little low value on my part, I'm not sure. The big mistake I made was looking at the girl stood at the bar I noticed I was looking at her and thinking to myself, 'damn now this looks like I've been stalking her!' As soon as I noticed her look back at me I looked away. Blatant AFC thinking. A bit later I went over and talked to the guy and girl again after making some teasing eye contact. Pretty much as soon as I walked up to them both, the girl left. Maybe she genuinely needed the toilet but I interpreted it as an IOD. I started talking to the guy who I got on well with. He was encouraging me to have a few drinks but I couldn't because I was driving and strictly on the soft drinks that night. I introduced Omega Man and Dave to the guy and went to the toilet. On the way out of the toilet I saw the girl I'd number closed again. My paranoia kicked in thinking to myself 'now I know she's gonna think I'm a stalker. I made a stupid face whilst I thought this and the girl gave me a funny look. I made it back to the bar with My 2 wings, the guy and girl talking. I spoke to the guy, we said our goodbyes before leaving. This proved to me that I'd ballsed things up because the girl I number closed was cold. She didn't hug me goodbye like she would have done earlier, she just shook my hand and appeared very indifferent. Maybe I was nothing to do with her change in friendliness but I'm guessing I was. I'm thinking it was a combination of the way me, Omega Man and Dave looked when we were talking at the bar, which the guy and girl could see. And also the couple of occasions I looked at her then looked away. It would have been better if I'd not seen her again after number closing, or if I'd manned up a bit and not let my paranoia run through my head later down the line. It genuinely wasn't my intention to follow her but I was worried that she'd think I was, which proved AFC thinking with AFC results. Despite the balls up it was still a good beginning night for me to build on, with me realising how easy it is to spark conversations with strangers. I just need to work on my mid-game and game more constantly. I could also do with being a better wing. I have to also say I love these functional openers! When I first started gaming I always thought that you couldn't use them, but I got into some good conversations from simple questions without coming across as too pick up orientated or having to be too direct. My body language, fun banter and kino can do all the attraction work for me. I think the key to them working well for me is the fact that I'm comfortable using them and they're questions I genuinely want the answer to. I'm also not remotely worried about the outcome of those questions, because I can simply say thank you and go as an absolute worst case scenario without having any of the 'I wanna pick you up' type of vibe and I always feel I can go back and re-approach again if I choose. I don't suppose it really matters what you say, it's what's going through your head whilst you say it. |
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| Author: | NaturesFoulChild [ Tue May 10, 2011 12:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Let's start this again and see it through this time!! |
Quite a long read, man. It's cool that you're teaching others. There's one thing in particular that I'd like to address. Quote: As we were stood talking I noticed a couple of birds looking at Dave and moved closer to him. He's not a bad looking guy, just very new to the world of pick up and lacks a lot of confident when speaking to strangers. I told him to go and speak to her. 'You don't have to say much, but say something. Simply walk up to her and ask her question. It can be anything. But seriously mate, speak to her. She's into you and wants you to approach her. He couldn't pluck up the courage as he was too nervous. Despite her walking right by him, purposely brushing passed him and making a teasing comment to him about treading on her foot. A blatant IOI on her part and a come on from her saying 'speak to me!' It was frustrating to see, but I really felt for the guy. I've been through that situation in the past too. I still do from time to time. I should have been a better wingman and opened the girls, then introduced them to my 2 wings.
I'm not bad looking either and that sort of thing happened to me quite a few times in my AFC days... I guess the 'shy friend' opener would be useful if you ever hang out with those guys again in the future. It's a routine I learned from my best friend, who is a natural (yes, naturals sometimes use routines as well), and I later found out that it's also in use in the Seduction Community. The Love Systems version goes like this: “Hey, my friend likes you. He’s kind of shy. I was going to pass you a note, but I figured it would be good practice for him to talk to you.” (you open, so you choose can your target first). Hope it helps.
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| Author: | Amadieus [ Tue May 10, 2011 2:47 pm ] |
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Yeaaah it was a nice read indeed. And we dutch surely speak good English Most of us atleast.... |
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| Author: | Rhythic [ Wed May 11, 2011 8:41 pm ] |
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Yea it is a long read I know, part of the reason I put all the details in is for me to review later when I forget. Might aim to be a bit more concise in future though. Cheers for that nugget NFC... I'll use that! Haha you know what Amadieus I don't think I've ever met a Dutch person that didn't speak good English and I've met a few
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