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https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=71746
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Author:  dkjscfklsdfhj [ Sun Jul 25, 2010 6:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Text message convo

Hey I F-closed this girl the other night, and she's out of town this weekend and I had this text message conversation with her. I am wondering if I could have phrased things better. She hasn't texted me back since the last message which was yesterday. Any thoughts?

S:: Hey may I ask you a question?
Me: Sure what's up?
S:: Are we seeing each other exclusively?
Me: No we're not.
S:: Thanks. I needed to know.
Me: No problem. I don't want that sort of thing to be ambiguous.
S:: I know you have the uncertainty of your job and still trying to figure out what you want in a partner. Is there potential of us developing into a more serious relationship or will this always be a casual relationship.
Me: I see this as more of a casual relationship. The job situation is dominating my perspective right now, and the possibility for someone with my qualifications finding meaningful work in this area is rather slim.

Author:  dkjscfklsdfhj [ Wed Jul 28, 2010 4:57 am ]
Post subject: 

Well she dumped me last night. I guess I should have answered her second question with something more like "I think there is potential, but there is no guarantee because of the job situation." Lesson learned. I'm a bit surprised she waited to ask me these questions until after we had sex, since if this was a deal breaker for her she could have asked them before. But I guess getting laid was more important to her.

Author:  Solteris [ Wed Jul 28, 2010 6:10 am ]
Post subject: 

I love the honesty, just had to say that beforehand. Personally, I wouldn't have been that blunt with it because that doesnt translate well over text. It sounded like you were colder than you were trying to be. Being honest and saying that you're busy and for now it's not an exclusive thing but that you enjoyed yourself and that she's a good person. You still would have told the truth, but in a warmer way where she would interpret it alot better.

But thats just what I would have said. I give you props for being that blunt about it, and maybe in person it would have worked better but it sounded ice cold as I was reading that over text.

Author:  NoBS [ Wed Jul 28, 2010 1:25 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yeah Solteris is quite right, its nice and honest but a little too cold/blunt. In these situations I usually stop texting and would call. Even just the fact that you are calling builds a bit more comfort. And then something like: "I'm not the best at relationships and they've cause me a lot of stress in the past, something I cannot afford right now on top of my job. I like you though and would hate to see this end so quickly"
Its a bit more morally questionable as you are dangling a carrot in front of her, but if you'd like to keep her around for a bit it would help.

All the best,
Len

Author:  dkjscfklsdfhj [ Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yeah, definitely not calling was a big mistake on my part. Thanks for the tips guys!

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