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| I got the feeling of digging in too fast https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=7159 |
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| Author: | slyder2412 [ Tue Sep 18, 2007 5:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I got the feeling of digging in too fast |
Hey guys what's up? I'm not sure if I'm really doing any of this right or not, but just an example yesterday.(happened a few times) but ill just describe a specific occasion. (In line at a Quiznoes) HB: Hey i like your shirt, are you a Milan fan? Me: I'm brazilian, can't you tell? (smile) (i'm white as hell so i always get the no way!" HB: No way! i'm 100% italian. Me. That's cool, ever been to italy? HB: Only when i was 3 Me: You should go back, i've heard it's amazing and i want to get there sometime HB: Yeah i'm going sometime this summer HB: Then she started saying how about awesome this italian team is Me: I really don't follow soccer, my mom picked up this shirt when she was in brazil sometime, gotta represent brazil right? (idk y i said my mom, although it's true) Me: I've been to brazil a bunch of times and to a few soccer games, so i know how crazy brazil is about soccer, but i've just never got into it HB: Oh haha, i was just asking about your shirt Then that's basically it. I guess i blew another set. I kept my body language mixed with facing the counter like i was going to order, and facing her square on. And i always fucking strike out on any DHV. Although at times i'm not conscious of the fact "lets provide a DHV"...most reactions don't seem any more interested, but more like "too much info" or "bragging". If i was the girl in this situation and someone said yeah i go to brazil, that would interest me...but maybe most people simply don't give a shit about others? haha idk. |
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| Author: | astj1 [ Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
You told her way too much about you. Doing this comes off as your very interested in her so your making small talk and trying to prove something to her. I have this exact same problem too so don't feel bad. What I do is react slower. Not every answer has to be shot back lightning fast. You should take a couple of seconds in your head to think about what she just said, and to think of a response. Even if you have one already to go still pause momentarily. This seems unnatural, but in conversation it really isn't. Not only does this allow you to think of better answers, but it also shows that your not over-anxious to prove to her that your an interesting person. |
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| Author: | Scent [ Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
What you did wrong was to have a conversation with her in her frame. HB: "Hey I like your shirt are you a Milan fan?" That's a weak frame. You need to get out unless you want to talk about football. Me: I'm brazilian, can't you tell? HB: No way! i'm 100% italian. Ok from here you have no need to jump in and talk about football again. You have to remember that you should not be trying to build comfort/rapport with her until you have built attraction. AFC's do that, but you want to be a PUA. PUA's build attraction first. You: Oh well that's us done for right there, we'd never work out - Italians are smelly. *grin* Well well well. Now although that's probably not your style, you can see what I have done there. 1. It's a neg. 2. It makes her qualify herself to you. 3. It's light hearted banter which will draw her attraction towards you. Once she is attracted, then you can build comfort. The idea is to get from one stage to the next over a number of small achievable steps, not to go all the way in one huge leap. |
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| Author: | slyder2412 [ Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah but she was prob a hb7-7.5 and i heard that negging a girl that isn't a h9-10 is not advised. I was just trying to "vibe"...but i defiantly gave her too much attention too fast. I caught myself turning square with her just as she commented to me, then i made sure to turn my body language away. I'm defiantly going to try taking my time with responses. When i do this, should i just look around? Or maintain eye contact, just appear to be taking my time pondering my thoughts? |
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