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| on-off-on again (one-itis) https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=71482 |
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| Author: | rename [ Wed Jul 21, 2010 5:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | on-off-on again (one-itis) |
Well a few months ago i met this girl that works next door to my workplace. Basically from that first moment we met i could tell she was attracted to me (she was begging me to add her on facebook lol) and i was attracted to her. Keep in mind that this was way before i had any idea about these pick-up communities. So we would talk like basically every night (texting, msn and sometimes on phone). At one point she tells me that she is "99% sure that she is falling for me" to which i reply "same here". AT this point we really really liked each other. We met up a few times outside of work which i thought went rather well so i attempted to schedule more "dates", she would agree but then at the very last minute something would always come up and she couldn't make it, this happened like 3 times consecutively. Like a total AFC i still attempted to meet up with her, but she would hardly reply to my texts (i think the attraction was lost). I kept texting her, asking her what was up with her nd shit, y she wasn't replying, she finally texted back and told me that "she needs her space" and thought that we should just be friends. I realised that i had become too needy but at this point it was too late to do anything about it, i had been put in the dreaded friend zone. But i didn't want to accept this, for me it was either all or nothing, i didn't want to be "just" her friend, i wanted more than that, so seeing as she wasn't willing to give me what i wanted i went with the 'nothing' option. I stopped talking to her, even when she would come in to my work, i showed her no attention, ignored her. I would basically walk away from her and pretend i would be doing something else. She would walk away from my workplace angry as hell that i wasn't talking to her, but i couldn't care less lol. Sometimes i would talk to her, pretend that nothing had happened but then the next time she would come in i would just ignore her ( i don't no why, i think i was just trying to really piss her off, and from what she's told me it was working). Then, like 2 weeks ago, she sends me a text saying that she thinks i look cute, i don't reply, she sends another text saying that its rude of me not to reply. I reply and say something like "LOL u cant go around making assumptions like that, maybe my phone isn't working, or maybe i don't have any credit to reply to u". She then tells me that "we should go out for a coffee sometime", to which i say "maybe.....if you're good". We keep texting back and forth, conversation is fun, i'm being cocky and funny, then the conversation gets serious. She apologises for what she did and says that she wants to start over, i just simply say "goodnight [her name]". That was the end of the conversation. She texts me a week later to say happy birthday (this was the saturday that just passed). I didnt reply cos i had no credit on my phone which means i cant send texts or call anyone. I send her a text the next day (on sunday) saying "thanks for the birthday wish" to which she replies "my pleasure", i don't reply, an hour passes, she sends another text message asking me if i'm working that night, i say no nd basically we start talking as we did before she tried to put me in the friend zone. I hav no problem with text game, i always keep them fun and interesting. The next day i get a call from her at like midnight. We talked for about half an hour, it could have gone longer but i think i may have gone too far with trying to make her jealous. This is how some of it goes: Me: "im going back to university tommorrow (my break was over) and because its a new semester i'm going to have new subjects, which means that im going to be meeting new people, especially girls" Her: "ohh yeah" Me: "can you give me some advice on what to say to them?" Her:"i dunno, just go and say hi" (i could tell she was getting annoyed) Me:"You got any lines or anything that i could try?" Her:"Nahhhh" Me:"why not?" Her:"cos....i don't want u meeting new girls" Then she tells me that she's tired and wants to go to sleep. We say goodnight and hang up. At that point i was just sitting there asking myself why i did that, she obviously got upset. I still have feelings for this girl, even though i no i shouldn't. The next day she texts me and we start talking like nothing's wrong, it didn't seem like she was upset. But then she tells me that she's at this guys house to which i don't reply at all (for some reason i think this was her trying to make me jealous and getting back at me for what i did to her on the phone, and to be honest it made me very jealous). I knew i should have replied to the message but i couldn't think of anything to say. We haven't talked since (yesterday). What do u guys think i should have said? And how do u think i've handled it so far? I want to take this as far as possible, whether it be a f-close or a LTR but it feels like im stuffing it up all over again. |
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| Author: | minsok [ Wed Jul 21, 2010 11:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
God you are acting like a girl with your mixed signals. When she apologized and said she wanted to start over, that was a golden opportunity. Instead of being a strong, generous man, you decided to keep acting like a petty little bitch. Give her another chance and if she pulls the same flaking out, tell her where she can shove it and ABSOLUTELY cut her off. You got her interest, she's throwing herself at you; what are you scared? |
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| Author: | phoenix;! [ Wed Jul 21, 2010 12:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I don't really believe in attempting to make girls jealous by attempting to get with other girls so blatantly. As you say, I think you may have gone abit too far with that one. However, what was clearly working for you was withdrawing attention from her and keeping her guessing. By previously being all over her to then go to ignoring her will naturally give her some feelings of doubt about herself - "What's wrong with me now? What have I done wrong?". It was these insecurities which made her come back to you, tell you that she thinks you're cute, and want to start over. I think that may have been your golden opportunity. I personally would try to initiate the conversation again in a cocky/funny way which elevates your status and doesn't make you sound too needy. Show some interest, and then withdraw it again. But for God's sake don't make her jealous, she doesn't seem to respond too well to that. Just last night I was in a situation where a girl told me that I'd been genuinely mean to her, I recovered it and ended with a kiss and a promise of meeting up again this Friday! I'll be writing a field report about the whole thing shortly. I think that by letting you know she was at some guys house was a clear way of her making you jealous, which clearly means she wants to make you jealous for a reason. Attention. Give it, then withdraw it. But next time she shows genuine interest, capitalise on it. Good Luck, phoenix;! |
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