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FR: Value seeking = SHITTY NIGHT (But I learned a lot!)
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=62535		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Sharplin [ Sat Feb 20, 2010 6:59 pm ]
Post subject:  FR: Value seeking = SHITTY NIGHT (But I learned a lot!)
I'll try to keep this as brief as possible, and this is as much for the advice of all you PUAs out there as it is for me to learn lessons from what I did wrong and what I did right.

I went to the school dance last night. When I got there barely anyone was there, it was like 40-50 people, so I told myself to be confident and to remember what I learned about game, and to try and use it in this situation. So I went into the dance VERY HIGH ENERGY and did my own thing, dancing around and basically having a good time.

The 'popular group' came after a little while, and I know them all but they aren't really my group of friends if you know what I mean. So anyway, I went up and talked to them for a bit and they quickly became the social center of the whole dance.

As soon as they arrived, I found myself value seeking constantly. I would stand there and look around seemingly aimlessly, feeling a little out of place. Then I would try too hard to get attention from the group and to gain approval, by yelling and being obnoxious basically, but they pretty much ignored me.

I went between the dance and the foyer / lobby quite a bit, where there was always lots of people standing around, this is where I did most of my approaches as dance-floor game is something I'm not very good at.

MY MAIN APPROACH:

I found a few targets for the night, some girls I wanted to game, and they mostly hung out with each other in a group in the foyer. So I went up to them and this is basically how the convo went:

ME (to the group): Are you guys as bored as I am? This dance sucks, right?

THEM: Yeah it's pretty lame, so bored haha.

ME: I don't even know why I'm here to be honest. Want to make things more fun though? I just learned this magic trick I'll show it to you guys if you want.

THEM: A magic trick? Umm... okay... (They looked a bit sketchy here)

ME: Yeah, I can levitate. I'll show you.

THEM: Hahaha okay okay lets see it.

[I did the levitation trick, which basically involves standing at the right angle with your feet together and lifting one foot a little bit, makes it look like you levitate. It's what David Blaine does.]

THEM: OMG WOW HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT HOLY SHIT DO IT AGAIN DO IT AGAIN OMG NO WAY

(They kept asking me to do it again and eventually I did, and they figured it out cause they looked at my feet more closely)

THEM: It's not real your just going up on one foot!!

ME: Ahh, can't fool you guys, you're good.

I stayed and joked around with them a bit. I'm afraid that I might've stayed a little too long when I should have pulled.

Went I came back out of the dance again a little while later, they were all trying to levitate and they saw me and were like "OH IT'S THE LEVITATING GUY!!".

------------------

WHAT I LEARNED:

1. It is important not to value seek.
Value seeking is something that most do naturally in an environment that they are not comfortable in, like me last night at the dance. I was in a high value group with a lot of social proof and I was just one of the outskirt members that knew them but wasn't part of their shenanigans. I would kind of follow them around and laughed and stuff, when really I was just seeking approval.

I have to learn to create my own fun and let the people and relationships come to me. If I go out seeking popularity and relationships and for the sake of relevancy, success with women, they will only be repelled further, like two positive magnets. If I work on core level change and gain a sense of identity and reality strong enough to go out and have a good time by myself and emanate a positive and fun aura, people will naturally be attracted to me the way I am to this fun and popular group.

2. Know when to eject.
In the approach I did involving levitating, I didn't eject early enough. My interaction with the group dried up and I just kept milking it, when I should know not to milk the opener. Go in, do your thing, and get out of there when it's over. Just like writing a story, you will know it's done when you have nothing else to say. Some openers trigger short two line interactions and then they are done, others lead to long ten-minute spiels (such as the jealous friend opener or who lies more). Both of these opener types work wonders if you just end them when they end naturally. Don't be looking for reasons for the opener to continue, it will just naturally end and that's when you move on to the next one.

3. State is important, but don't be preoccupied with it.
The moment a PUA or anyone for that matter becomes aware of the concept of being in state and being out of state, it can jeopardize their social life. If you are constantly thinking "I'm not in state, I have to get in state, I can't approach until I'm in state" Then you won't get anywhere and you are just setting yourself up for failure. You need to realize that you can't get in state if you are overly conscious of it. It just happens, you really have almost no control over it. So if you feel that you aren't in state just say "I'm not in state right now, but there is nothing I can do about it and I'm going to approach and do what I have to do anyway, despite how I'm feeling. I don't mind". A lot of this material I am thinking of is inspired by or straight verbatim from Tyler Durden's Blueprint, which I find has really helped me understand several key concepts.

4. Learn to escalate further.
Escalation is key to closing. It is the climax to a story (sorry for all of these creative writing references, but I have a writer's craft class this semester and I feel it has a lot to do with pick up). Climax is necessary for a good story, otherwise, where is it going? No where. Without a gradual and increasing climax and building excitement, a story is pointless and useless and just plain boring, as is any conversation or social interaction. You can't be afraid to climax anymore, or to escalate to a climax, the climax being the kiss, or the number, or even a fuck if you get it. The close is the climax, and in order to get there you have to escalate, and increase the stakes. The higher the stakes, the more awesome the climax is going to be, and the better the close is going to be. Don't be afraid to try something you are afraid of trying. If you fail, you learn. If you succeed you learn and you gain a close. Either way, it's win-win. Go for the kiss, just do it.
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