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FieldReport: (First) Date
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Author:  RC- [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:46 am ]
Post subject:  FieldReport: (First) Date
Hi guys, I never introduced myself on this forum so I'll give a quick backup here.

Im a 19 year old guy, had a GF for over 3 years and broke off 2 months ago. Few weeks later I found out about PUA and started reading into it. I can get k-closes pretty easy in a club, without much talk, however thats still a numbers game.

I wanna work on being more skilled (instead of going for a numbers game), bar-game and daygame aswell, but that'll be for later.

Two weeks ago I went to a bar with some friends and I met a (foreign) girl there, she was from a different country yet she had lived here for 2 years and also studies here. We got talking a bit, (I didn't know what IOI's where yet), we talked about that she likes to tennis, I told her I liked tennis, just wasnt good at it ;p and then we continued on another topic.. eventually she had to go bring her waaay to drunk roommate home and I got her to leave me her number because (there was a pub-quiz, which she won from me, so I told her I wanted revenge, so she left her number and asked me to contact her about it sometime).

So I texted her that night (she asked for it to confirm number) and her reply the next morning was: blablabla, if you ever wanna try tennis, call me ;)

I called her and just asked her to grab some drinks sometime, but due to exams it took about 1.5 week and today was the day. However, since I had a GF from when I was 16, I never been on a proper date, so it was pretty new to me. I texted her this afternoon "Will I see you around 20:30 at <location>? ;- )" And she texted back that she had been feeling really really crappy with had high fever and had an exam the next day, but would wanna go for a quick drink.

Thats the background story, now what happend on the date:

We met at some location in the city, gave her 3 kisses on the cheek and we went to a bar I knew which was pretty fancy and nice, and we got some drinks and started talking, we talked about quite alot of stuff actually, laughed alot, talked about some serious stuff and all in all it was really really fun, and I think she was also really enjoying it, however I didn't pay attention for real IOI's =/. The longer I looked the more I thought: "Damn, shes REALLY really hot" (thats on a sidenote, btw :P)... After about an hour or 2 she said it was getting late and she needed some good sleep for her exam tomorrow, so we got up and outside it was snowing, so we threw some snowballs at eachother, tho nothing much happend there (tried to kino a bit, but she naturally kept distance). During the drinks we talked about walking in the snow being awesome, riding a bike in the snow not so much. So I proposed I'd walk her home, and she thought that was a good idea (Did I not know it was an hour walk o.O) yet the hour went fast, cause we had alot of fun, stopped to have a bigass snowfight somewhere along the road, I tried kino'ing alot there but she didnt go for it, she allowed me to touch her, but she wouldnt really respond to it. When she said she had cold hands, I said: "hmm, lemme feel" so I took her hand, held on to it for a while, but after maybe 5 secs she calmly took it away again. So that kinda got me discouraged.

After a while we got at her home, and after being playfull with some snow and a some small funny negs (which made her laugh alot and neg me back a little) she said she really had to get to bed now, but asked if we where gonna go play tennis now next week (she had her bike with her, and was standing at the wrong side of it -.-). So I tried to subtly walk over there, but that didn't really do much and cause I couldnt really get eye contact either and since I couldnt find any real IOI's I got kinda scared to try anything, so I got as far as uncomfortably putting my hand on her side and wishing her goodnight, at which she said thanks and start slowly walking away so I said gnight and walked off...

On the one hand, since this was my first date ever, it was an awesome experience... After all the (instant- but also simple/dumb)-kcloses I had last weeks it was really awesome to have a proper date with a girl, and I think I kinda liked her (oh noes, onitis!) and even tho I know I fucked up by not giving her atleast a kiss on the cheek when leaving, I still think it was an awesome date. The only issue I'm worried about now is, ending up getting slapped in mah face with a big fat LJBF soon -.-

Thanks for reading, obviously this is also my first FR ever, so I hope it is anything usefull and you can tell me what I did good/bad, what I should do and how to avoid a LJBF... <3.

RC.
Author:  ~Finesse [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: FieldReport: (First) Date
In a shit mood, so if things sound a little harsh, don't take it personally. But you asked for my feedback, so you're getting it :D:P
Quote:
Hi guys, I never introduced myself on this forum so I'll give a quick backup here.

Im a 19 year old guy, had a GF for over 3 years and broke off 2 months ago. Few weeks later I found out about PUA and started reading into it. I can get k-closes pretty easy in a club, without much talk, however thats still a numbers game.

I wanna work on being more skilled (instead of going for a numbers game), bar-game and daygame aswell, but that'll be for later.

Two weeks ago I went to a bar with some friends and I met a (foreign) girl there, she was from a different country yet she had lived here for 2 years and also studies here. We got talking a bit, (I didn't know what IOI's where yet), we talked about that she likes to tennis, I told her I liked tennis, just wasnt good at it ;p and then we continued on another topic.. eventually she had to go bring her waaay to drunk roommate home and I got her to leave me her number because (there was a pub-quiz, which she won from me, so I told her I wanted revenge, so she left her number and asked me to contact her about it sometime).

So I texted her that night (she asked for it to confirm number) and her reply the next morning was: blablabla, if you ever wanna try tennis, call me ;)

I called her and just asked her to grab some drinks sometime, but due to exams it took about 1.5 week and today was the day. However, since I had a GF from when I was 16, I never been on a proper date, so it was pretty new to me. I texted her this afternoon "Will I see you around 20:30 at <location>? ;- )" And she texted back that she had been feeling really really crappy with had high fever and had an exam the next day, but would wanna go for a quick drink.
Everything above here, sounds fine. Although there are lots of 'game wrong' things, theres no point in pointing it out if it didnt really effect things.

Now, this part... (prepare for the onslaught)
Quote:

Thats the background story, now what happend on the date:

We met at some location in the city, gave her 3 kisses on the cheek
Is this custom where you from?
Quote:
and we went to a bar I knew which was pretty fancy and nice, and we got some drinks and started talking, we talked about quite alot of stuff actually, laughed alot, talked about some serious stuff and all in all it was really really fun, and I think she was also really enjoying it, however I didn't pay attention for real IOI's =/. The longer I looked the more I thought: "Damn, shes REALLY really hot" (thats on a sidenote, btw :P)... After about an hour or 2 she said it was getting late and she needed some good sleep for her exam tomorrow, so we got up and outside it was snowing, so we threw some snowballs at eachother, tho nothing much happend there (tried to kino a bit, but she naturally kept distance). During the drinks we talked about walking in the snow being awesome, riding a bike in the snow not so much. So I proposed I'd walk her home, and she thought that was a good idea (Did I not know it was an hour walk o.O) yet the hour went fast, cause we had alot of fun, stopped to have a bigass snowfight somewhere along the road,
Why do I get the impression you are in love with her?
Quote:
I tried kino'ing alot there but she didnt go for it, she allowed me to touch her, but she wouldnt really respond to it. When she said she had cold hands, I said: "hmm, lemme feel" so I took her hand, held on to it for a while, but after maybe 5 secs she calmly took it away again. So that kinda got me discouraged.
How are you 'trying' to 'kino' her. Like what are you doing? I get the impression it's happening very unnaturally...

Also... you stood there doing what? Nothing but holding her hand for five seconds? What did you expect her to do? ...how long was you expecting to stay there for? were you doing anything else while holding her hand? Also, you '''''shouldn't''''' ASK to hold her hand, you '''''should''''' command ''hey give me your hands a second'' that sort of shit. If you catch my drift.
Quote:
After a while we got at her home, and after being playfull with some snow and a some small funny negs (which made her laugh alot and neg me back a little) she said she really had to get to bed now, but asked if we where gonna go play tennis now next week (she had her bike with her, and was standing at the wrong side of it -.-). So I tried to subtly walk over there, but that didn't really do much and cause I couldnt really get eye contact either and since I couldnt find any real IOI's I got kinda scared to try anything, so I got as far as uncomfortably putting my hand on her side and wishing her goodnight, at which she said thanks and start slowly walking away so I said gnight and walked off...

On the one hand, since this was my first date ever, it was an awesome experience... After all the (instant- but also simple/dumb)-kcloses I had last weeks it was really awesome to have a proper date with a girl, and I think I kinda liked her (oh noes, onitis!) and even tho I know I fucked up by not giving her atleast a kiss on the cheek when leaving, I still think it was an awesome date. The only issue I'm worried about now is, ending up getting slapped in mah face with a big fat LJBF soon -.-

Thanks for reading, obviously this is also my first FR ever, so I hope it is anything usefull and you can tell me what I did good/bad, what I should do and how to avoid a LJBF... <3.

RC.
Yeah, I can imagine a LJBF flying your way very possibly. I think you're being to 'lovey dovey' with her. Possibly not, it depends on what kind of girl she is, and how into you she seems. And she seems quite into you, whether thats friends or otherwise, at least she is actively arranging/thinking about meeting with you in the future.

I think you sound a little too much with the seeking rapport. You making everything all nice and happy and lovey. Quit that shit. It's fucking gay. And possibly fuck you up, let her do that, she's the girl.

About not kissing her when you leave, don't worry about. Theres plenty of day1's / day 2's where I havent bothered kissing the girl. And still end up fucking them. In this case, perhaps going for the kiss would have fucked things up for you, cos... I strongly imagine you're placing too much importance on it, and it would come across that way etc etc. Aswell as the kino... you sound like you're placing too much important on everything. Now go break some rapport. But not too OTT as it will be very out of character and incongruent with the way you act.

Thats just my two pence.

Hope it helps in someway.

Much Love.

1up

~Finesse
Author:  RC- [ Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: FieldReport: (First) Date
Quote:
In a shit mood, so if things sound a little harsh, don't take it personally. But you asked for my feedback, so you're getting it :D:P
Quote:
Hi guys, I never introduced myself on this forum so I'll give a quick backup here.

Im a 19 year old guy, had a GF for over 3 years and broke off 2 months ago. Few weeks later I found out about PUA and started reading into it. I can get k-closes pretty easy in a club, without much talk, however thats still a numbers game.

I wanna work on being more skilled (instead of going for a numbers game), bar-game and daygame aswell, but that'll be for later.

Two weeks ago I went to a bar with some friends and I met a (foreign) girl there, she was from a different country yet she had lived here for 2 years and also studies here. We got talking a bit, (I didn't know what IOI's where yet), we talked about that she likes to tennis, I told her I liked tennis, just wasnt good at it ;p and then we continued on another topic.. eventually she had to go bring her waaay to drunk roommate home and I got her to leave me her number because (there was a pub-quiz, which she won from me, so I told her I wanted revenge, so she left her number and asked me to contact her about it sometime).

So I texted her that night (she asked for it to confirm number) and her reply the next morning was: blablabla, if you ever wanna try tennis, call me ;)

I called her and just asked her to grab some drinks sometime, but due to exams it took about 1.5 week and today was the day. However, since I had a GF from when I was 16, I never been on a proper date, so it was pretty new to me. I texted her this afternoon "Will I see you around 20:30 at <location>? ;- )" And she texted back that she had been feeling really really crappy with had high fever and had an exam the next day, but would wanna go for a quick drink.
Everything above here, sounds fine. Although there are lots of 'game wrong' things, theres no point in pointing it out if it didnt really effect things.

Now, this part... (prepare for the onslaught)
Quote:

Thats the background story, now what happend on the date:

We met at some location in the city, gave her 3 kisses on the cheek
Is this custom where you from?

Yea, it is in Holland ;)
Quote:
and we went to a bar I knew which was pretty fancy and nice, and we got some drinks and started talking, we talked about quite alot of stuff actually, laughed alot, talked about some serious stuff and all in all it was really really fun, and I think she was also really enjoying it, however I didn't pay attention for real IOI's =/. The longer I looked the more I thought: "Damn, shes REALLY really hot" (thats on a sidenote, btw :P)... After about an hour or 2 she said it was getting late and she needed some good sleep for her exam tomorrow, so we got up and outside it was snowing, so we threw some snowballs at eachother, tho nothing much happend there (tried to kino a bit, but she naturally kept distance). During the drinks we talked about walking in the snow being awesome, riding a bike in the snow not so much. So I proposed I'd walk her home, and she thought that was a good idea (Did I not know it was an hour walk o.O) yet the hour went fast, cause we had alot of fun, stopped to have a bigass snowfight somewhere along the road,
Why do I get the impression you are in love with her?

Well, not so much in love, but yea.. I gotta be carefull for onitis -.-'
Quote:
I tried kino'ing alot there but she didnt go for it, she allowed me to touch her, but she wouldnt really respond to it. When she said she had cold hands, I said: "hmm, lemme feel" so I took her hand, held on to it for a while, but after maybe 5 secs she calmly took it away again. So that kinda got me discouraged.
How are you 'trying' to 'kino' her. Like what are you doing? I get the impression it's happening very unnaturally...

Kino, as in, when she was throwing a snowball at me, I tried grabbing her and just (gently ofc) put some snow in her face etc.. playing along.. And she let me, just, she didnt kino back or anything, not much of a responce. And ever time I tried to get near after that, she didn't trust me cause she was affraid to get snowballed =P

Also... you stood there doing what? Nothing but holding her hand for five seconds? What did you expect her to do? ...how long was you expecting to stay there for? were you doing anything else while holding her hand? Also, you '''''shouldn't''''' ASK to hold her hand, you '''''should''''' command ''hey give me your hands a second'' that sort of shit. If you catch my drift.

She said she had real cold hands, so I said: "hmm, lemme feel *sticks out hand*" so she gave me her hand and I warmed it up a little, but then after few sec she pulled it away again (maybe I didn't hold firm enough)
Quote:
After a while we got at her home, and after being playfull with some snow and a some small funny negs (which made her laugh alot and neg me back a little) she said she really had to get to bed now, but asked if we where gonna go play tennis now next week (she had her bike with her, and was standing at the wrong side of it -.-). So I tried to subtly walk over there, but that didn't really do much and cause I couldnt really get eye contact either and since I couldnt find any real IOI's I got kinda scared to try anything, so I got as far as uncomfortably putting my hand on her side and wishing her goodnight, at which she said thanks and start slowly walking away so I said gnight and walked off...

On the one hand, since this was my first date ever, it was an awesome experience... After all the (instant- but also simple/dumb)-kcloses I had last weeks it was really awesome to have a proper date with a girl, and I think I kinda liked her (oh noes, onitis!) and even tho I know I fucked up by not giving her atleast a kiss on the cheek when leaving, I still think it was an awesome date. The only issue I'm worried about now is, ending up getting slapped in mah face with a big fat LJBF soon -.-

Thanks for reading, obviously this is also my first FR ever, so I hope it is anything usefull and you can tell me what I did good/bad, what I should do and how to avoid a LJBF... <3.

RC.
Yeah, I can imagine a LJBF flying your way very possibly. I think you're being to 'lovey dovey' with her. Possibly not, it depends on what kind of girl she is, and how into you she seems. And she seems quite into you, whether thats friends or otherwise, at least she is actively arranging/thinking about meeting with you in the future.

I think you sound a little too much with the seeking rapport. You making everything all nice and happy and lovey. Quit that shit. It's fucking gay. And possibly fuck you up, let her do that, she's the girl.

About not kissing her when you leave, don't worry about. Theres plenty of day1's / day 2's where I havent bothered kissing the girl. And still end up fucking them. In this case, perhaps going for the kiss would have fucked things up for you, cos... I strongly imagine you're placing too much importance on it, and it would come across that way etc etc. Aswell as the kino... you sound like you're placing too much important on everything. Now go break some rapport. But not too OTT as it will be very out of character and incongruent with the way you act.

Thats just my two pence.

Hope it helps in someway.

Much Love.

1up

~Finesse
So, how do you think I should proceed now. Stay in the, as you call it 'lovey dovey' and hope that works (cause well, that worked before I got my ex, but yea, ofcourse that was 3 years ago on my 16th... Or be a little more direct from now on? Its not like I just want a 1nightstand or so, but obviously I dont wanna 'lets just be friend'. So, how to make that clear? We agreed to go tennis next week, but I think I'll call her someway mid-next week and ask her what she likes best, ice-skating or cinema and if she picks one, ill say: "ok, ill see you there tomorrow XX:XX ;D". Good idea? That should be slightly more direct.

Also, IF we go on that second day, am I gonna have to be more 'aggressive' or whadda ya think?

Thanks.
Author:  RC- [ Tue Feb 16, 2010 12:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, so the story on this one is...

Last week her phone broke, but I couldn't be fucked waiting till she got it fixed, and since she was sending me emails anyway, I figured I'd ask her over the mail. We agreed to play tennis that week, but I emailed her that I couldnt get a racket and it was way to cold anyway. So I said I had a fun question for her, what she likes best, iceskating or cinema. She said she wasn't feeling really good yet, so cinema was better than iceskating. (win?)

Tho, the only day I was available was last sunday = valentines day. So thats what I said, cause, she couldnt make it the other days and I couldnt make it saturday, I said: Well, then we're making it a valentines day ;) And she agreed to it, however she had to cancel something with her friends.

It took her way to long to cancel that stuff with her friends, because there was also this bigass party here which I wanted to go to, so I told her I was going to that party and we'll date this week. She said she was sorry she let me wait so long and hoped we could meet up quick this week.

So yesterday we mailed again, trying to figure out a date for this week, however it has to be either tonight or tomorrow cause otherwise I'll be outta-town. So I asked her when she had time.. and in a little funny mood she said: "Well, I got about an hour tomorrow morning, tomorrow late in the evening or wednesday". So I said: "Ok, we'll meet up tomorrow morning and get a proper date set in person ;)"

However, I went out to get drunk after that, so I never saw her reply. Apperently, she send me 2 mails back... first one: "Ok, 12:00 at <location!>".. and about 11:51 this morning she sent: "Hm, you didn't reply back, but I'll be there anyway to see if you will ;)".

So when I finally woke up around 12:15, I rushed over there and she was still waiting (huge IOI) and I told her I just got outta class and she was just happy I was there ;p. However, when I met her, she kept too far of a distance to give her a kiss on the cheek (normal greeting, rite?), so we talked a little, then I walked her to her college, she had class in 15 minutes. And I figured I tried atleast A BIT of kino when she left, however once we got to her school she did a step backwards, towards the school and away from me.. so it was impossible to 'spontaniously' -kino. However, she did agree that she would come over to my house to watch a movie around 11pm tonight.

Now whats the deal with this? She isn't going for any kino, not showing any physical attraction however she keeps sending off gigantic IOI's. Saturdaynight she even sent me a mail: "Darn, I wish you didn't have to work now cause Im actually free this night =< How's ur work going? I think Im gonna watch a movie on the couch... Why am I writing this email anyway? xD.."

If she comes over tonight, how should I handle this? Should I get a KOC (kiss-on-cheek) in once she comes in, how do I start kino'ing once shes at my place.. etc? I'm clueless on this one, I'm only used to drunk&horny girls >=(
Author:  ~Finesse [ Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Should I get a KOC (kiss-on-cheek) in once she comes in, how do I start kino'ing once shes at my place.. etc? I'm clueless on this one, I'm only used to drunk&horny girls >=(
woahhhhhhh slow your horses boy. This could be fine. But it could not. So it's up to you whether or not you do that...

heres my thoughts however...

If you're saying she hasn't initiated kino much, and you havent initiated much kino (which brings me to another point)... if she comes to your house, and you're suddenly all over her, depending on her comfort and her interest etc etc, this could go either way. 1 way being her feeling cheap like you've just got her to come and fuck. even if its in her mind to fuck, i can imagine maybe this may be coming on too strong... so possibly keep it light and faggy... this is the lovey dovey type shit chick right? So it could make sense to take a more eased approach to this.

Also, my point... I don't know exactly how much you kino her, or she kino's you... but each person is different, not every girl is very touchy, some girls are. Just because she isn't initiating kino, doesnt mean she isnt interested. Some girls just arent comfortable to, or arent naturally very touchy.

They're just my thoughts.

Hope it helps.

Much Love

~Finesse
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