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AFC-dom
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Author:  710Taylor710 [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:47 am ]
Post subject:  AFC-dom
Just joined and let me preface with that I just got out of a LTR and moved to a new area where I know no one.

Trying to break out of my shell and meet people -- and ideally sleep with them at some point.

Trying to set realistic goals.

Tonight I went out solo to a bar (a first, big move for me) and talked to 5 women. I am generally very quiet/shy but made a solid attempt to take this baby step. I consider the night a success, considering I at least met a few randoms.

The reason for this is that I want to be able to assess real life issues, not just the ones in my head which may or may not exist.

I don't think I am effectively implementing any PUA tactics. In fact, I pretty much just approached the women and started talking to them. I was able to hold the conversation until it would fade, at which point I would excuse myself and walk around. I definitely did not pick up any vibes of sincere attraction, but credit myself for at least starting somewhere!

Any tips for my situation?

Much appreciated!
Author:  Molson [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 8:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Continue to read, and continue to practice. You're right, you will get nowhere if you only practice situations in your head. This is one of the hardest things to do in the beginning, but like a language, you will become fluent in it.
Author:  Chim [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 9:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Well done for going out on your own at least, can imagine how daunting that can be first time.

If you start running out of things to say exit the conversation on a high rather before it dies off then they will be warm to re-open at a later point in time.

That way it looks like you have other people to socialise with other than just her as opposed to "oh he doesn't know what to say so he ran off" or whatnot.


Good luck.
Author:  710Taylor710 [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
I literally drove by the bar 3 times before saying "fuck it, now or never you pussy" and just parked the car and went in. Just getting myself INTO the bar solo was a huge (mental) obstacle.

Exiting on a high is a great call. However, was difficult considering I was pretty psyched to just be talking to someone instead of standing solo. I think I would have less trouble with this if I had had a group to return to... when you're alone it is harder to have that time constraint, you know?
Author:  Truncheon [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I literally drove by the bar 3 times before saying "fuck it, now or never you pussy" and just parked the car and went in. Just getting myself INTO the bar solo was a huge (mental) obstacle.
Bravo, this is also how i do it. Going out by yourself also shows that you dont need anybody to have fun.
Quote:
Exiting on a high is a great call. However, was difficult considering I was pretty psyched to just be talking to someone instead of standing solo. I think I would have less trouble with this if I had had a group to return to... when you're alone it is harder to have that time constraint, you know?
If your psyched to just talk to someone, just get a random person to talk with. Keep the conversation going make a friend or two (for the night).
Thats resistance in your head thinking that its good to have somebody with you all the time. You don't need that. You just need loads of girls arround you too play with ;-)
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