This thread is for newbies who've read the material, posted on the forums, imagined the scenarios, practiced the lines and sat on their asses wishing they could go out and actually USE this information. I'm one of you. But I tried PUA techniques for the first time last saturday night and got my first success. This is a long post but if you're new to PUA and afraid of jumping in head-first or afraid of the terms or some of the ideas (like peacocking, which I know wouldn't be for me), this might give you a cool look at how easy it is to apply the material to your game and your life. I'm no PUA. Not yet at least. But this was my first step.
I'm a reforming AFC and as of yet, have not gone sarging. I don't know anyone who's into PUA so that's part of it I guess. This situation came about by chance and another man's efforts. This is how my serendipitous first night came about......
Work got out around 9:30 and I was still hungover from the night before. We all were. But there was a boxing match on and we personally knew one of the contenders - world champion, Bernard Dunne. Four of us went to the pub. I just wanted to go home but I was dragged along and I agreed to have one pint while the fight was on. Myself (23), Carol (39), Brian (37) and Shane (24) were an unlikely crew in an unlikely pub and the fight ended after just 3 rounds. I was already 2 pints deep (one over my limit) so I didn't put up an argument when Carol put another pint in front of me. As we moved to another section of the bar and found a table, Shane (who, it turns out, would be my wing, or me his) opened a two-set at the bar. I went to the bathroom.
When I returned, Shane turned to me and said "The girls are gonna join us" and so on one side of the table sat Brian, Shane and a girl and on the other, Carol, myself and the other girl. My heart sinks as my hope soars. I'm sweaty, dressed in casual clothes, stubbly as all hell, greasy hair from last night and glasses instead of contacts. Not the optimal look for this situation.... Usually, I probably would have acquiesced to defeat at this stage but optimism and PUA kicked in. I knew what I would formerly have done. I would have said a polite hello and allowed Shane to control the conversation for the entire group. I would have thought "He brought them here, his charisma will push this interaction for the next ten minutes and he'll build comfort for the group." Not today. I had to try.
I turned to my target, basically blocking off Carol as Shane had blocked off Brian. This put me and her in our own little bubble. I introduced myself and, noticing her obvious accent and skin colour (clearly not pasty white, so she wasn't Irish!), asked where she was from. She responded pleasantly and said she was from Mexico. Body language! My arms are crossed and I'm leaning on the table! I turn slightly more as I exaggerate how cool this is. This is my excuse to open my body-language to her. A thought flashes in my head: Look for help. No! That was AFC talk; keep focus, build comfort, build attraction. We chat for a couple minutes and then the 'getting to know you' chat dries up.
She starts to ask interview questions. Is this an IOI or is she just bored/polite? She asks if I'm studying. I remember my AFC answer: "Nah... I used to go to college but I dropped out. That was a long time ago now... I work...." Fuck that shit! Turn your DLVs into DHVs. Build attraction. Build an attractive lifestyle. I reply, for once, with the truth. I tell her that I was lost for a few years and couldn't figure out what I wanted to do but now that I'm a little older and wiser, I can see the path ahead of me and am now working towards going back to college to build myself a career in psychology. Amazingly, this works! Amazingly? No, not amazingly you idiot; it shouldn't have taken PUA to tell you that this is a MUCH more attractive response than "Nope, I'm kind of a loser in a lame job..." We chat for another while and build comfort.
Brian makes fun of me and Shane. He gets kicks out of making this harder for us. Unfortunately, he's been doing this to unsuspecting friends for years and his wit is infinitely sharper than ours. We have no retorts. He's AMOGing the shit out of us and getting away with it because he CLEARLY isn't trying to pick up. Our only other option: We get involved with the jokes. Laugh our asses off at the small stuff and either confirm the more outlandish things or pretend to be offended by them. Target kinos my arm and says "Oh I bet that's not true!" This is definitely a fucking IOI, I tell myself. That's one, possibly even two.
Shane suggests a relocation. This is when I start to think that maybe he's into PUA. The girls say they live nearby so they might just head home. Carol steps in to bat for us. "There's a great club called the Church on your way home, you should go to that!" The girls are impressed. They've always wanted to go there. Sorted. Shane and I leave with our respective targets, leaving Carol and Brian at the bar. Shane has already engaged in heavy kino with his target and has isolated her, isolating me and my target by proxy. Awesome. We walk to the club and she starts a couple of conversations. Possible IOI but could also be out of politeness as we're isolated.
When we get there, Shane and I discover we know the doorman. D.H.Fucking V. We say a believably casual hello and enter the club. At this stage, I've got one IOI in the bag and two semi-IOIs. With help from my unlikely wings, I've isolated and relocated. By my own efforts, I've built comfort, built an attractive lifestyle, DHV'd and, hopefully built some attraction. I'm feeling good when we sit at the bar with a drink. We chat and after a few minutes, she reaches up behind her head and lets her hair down. Is this an IOI?! I can't remember! It is, right!? Fuck, shit, fuck, is this an IOI?!?!? I think it is. Fuck it! I pretend that this is DEFINITELY an IOI. That's 3. Magic number, I'm fucking going for it. I lean in and kiss. No LMR. Gold! I have succeeded.
What did I do wrong? Well I guess I coulda been more in control of the flow of the situation. It could have been me to suggest that we relocate. It wasn't though and I'm glad. The LMR the girls showed when Shane suggested moving on would probably have flattened my game. At Carol's suggestion of the club nearby, Shane ploughed. "There ya go," he'd said "it's even on your way home, so why not!" But now I've learned how to playfully plough on the small stuff. Good.
What did I do right? I paid attention to the material I've been reading and applied the concepts that have stood out for me personally:
Build comfort before moving in
Turn your possible DLVs into strong DHVs
Don't lose confidence
Go with the flow until you have a chance to influence the flow
Forget EVERYTHING you thought when you were an AFC
And have some fucking fun doing all of this
As it turns out, my target and I ended up having a great deal in common, a lot of personality similarities, a common sense of humour and a similar sense of emotion. We're seeing each other for a Day 2 this Thursday.
