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Massive Failure on First Sarge
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Author:  Havik [ Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:16 am ]
Post subject:  Massive Failure on First Sarge

I went to a club tonight with my buddy and I went 0 for 3. I was dancing with some girls I met via my friend, and he wandered off to dance with some other women, so I decided to do likewise. And when I say dance, I mean about a foot away from them.

Strike One: I walked over to this group of three girls and a guy on the dancefloor, said hi, and started dancing next to them. The girl to my left moved to the other end of the group, away from me and another girl took her place. The girl to my right then moved in front of me, shutting me out from the group.

Strike Two: I walked around the back of the club to the other side of the dance floor and saw this girl I knew and her friends. I said hey, asked when they got there, and danced with them for a while, and they ended up shutting me out of the group and moving over slightly and I would try to get back in the circle. After a few minutes, two of the friends said they had to go over here and my friend followed and said bye.

Strike Three: I walk back to where the bar is and stood behind the dancefloor for what felt like an hour (probably 10-15 minutes) and looked for my buddy. I decided I had to at least try to open someone, so I saw a three set of girls. I walked about 2 feet passed and looked over my shoulder and said "hey I have a quick question for you" and one girl said "what?" so I said "I have a question for you and need a womans opinion." She said something I couldn't hear, crossed her arms, leaned back, put on a really bitchy smile, and waved goodbye to me. I have no idea how her friends were reacting, but I was dumbfounded.

On the last strike, it seems as if she knew what was coming. Like she knew that I was using PUA tactics on her. The whole experience made me feel very, very self concious. I believe that a failure is only a failure if you do not learn from it, so feedback will be very apprieciated!

Havik

Author:  Exerio [ Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:33 am ]
Post subject: 

I only have one tip to give you. Be a man and go for it. Don't ask a subtle hi, be open, energetic and get "in the zone". That is how you open successfully. You spot shyness quite easily.

- Exerio

Author:  nineteen1919 [ Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:08 am ]
Post subject: 

What's up bro,

Getting rejected isn't the best experience to go through but this is the way I see it: She's not rejecting you, she's just rejecting your approach. This is definitely true especially for the last set that you opened.

Here's a a small mental checklist you could have before making your approaches.
1. Am I smiling when opening a set?
2. Is my energy level high enough to capture my targets attention?
3. Is my voice projection loud enough

As far as dancing game goes, I personally try to avoid it all together.

Anywoot, we can't learn without falling. In this case you took a fall, but it's time to get up and not dwell on it.

We all root for you!

Cheers,
Nineteen

Author:  TheJ [ Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just walking to a group of people on the dance floor and saying 'Hi' and dancing around them is not gaming.

That 3rd set was your only real approach. The words might have been right (although don't repeat 'I need your opinion on something' twice... just ask her), but what about the other 93% of your comunication? Looks like something in your BL might have been wrong... or maybe she was in a bad mood. That's why you have to try 10 times. Then recalibrate. Then try 10 times ... etc.

Keep going at it!

Author:  Havik [ Thu Aug 27, 2009 1:29 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for all your help guys! I feel a hell of a lot more motivated to get back out there and try again. It's only through failure that we can learn.

Havik

Author:  Workaholic [ Thu Aug 27, 2009 3:25 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Just walking to a group of people on the dance floor and saying 'Hi' and dancing around them is not gaming.
If any the girls you approached that night, and had on limited clothing they were probably approached by more than 10 guys that used simliar lines like this.
Quote:
Strike Three: I walk back to where the bar is and stood behind the dancefloor for what felt like an hour (probably 10-15 minutes) and looked for my buddy. I decided I had to at least try to open someone, so I saw a three set of girls. I walked about 2 feet passed and looked over my shoulder and said "hey I have a quick question for you" and one girl said "what?" so I said "I have a question for you and need a womans opinion." She said something I couldn't hear, crossed her arms, leaned back, put on a really bitchy smile, and waved goodbye to me. I have no idea how her friends were reacting, but I was dumbfounded.
For all you know the last guy could have got aggressive at being rejected and started her PMS off.

I mean I have been out with my female friends before having a good time, and then some guys comes onto the dance floor, sparks up some witty remark/pick up line or something that equally makes me want to gag towards the girls in my party and then starts to dance alongside them like he has just gained social proof or acceptance, I mean there faces usually resemble Anne Franks when she got caught!

This is not gaming, this is being an annoying tool-however much you could be Mr Right for them.

Author:  Havik [ Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

Great insight man. When I got rejected, I felt like the whole club saw it happen and so I didn't want to approach anyone else because I felt like my social proof was in the negatives. After the third rejection, I wanted to leave the venue because I was so humiliated. I will say one of my biggest concerns is that I will run into a girl that goes to the same school (more than likely. It is college)/has the same class/ect and will see me again or meet me again after I either get rejected by them or their friends. Definitely some inner game advice needed. Thanks guys!

Havik

Author:  Sergy-Duglev [ Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:25 am ]
Post subject: 

1 - should have disarmed the guy first, started off talking to him "hey man, cracking night tonight yeah whoop whoop" and just messed around, then turn your back, show that you're having lot's of fun, then turn back to the females of his group, smile, and just party with them.. just have fun, then isolate one

2 - again, have fun man.. you probably looked like a letch so they shut you out straight away. Don't look desperate.

3 - you walked past them.. you took too long and probably looked like a loser... if you walk past them and then turned back around "oh, i've got a question..." sh1t man, of course that's gonna look lame. Next time, same situation, approach them from the front (but coming in at 45 degrees) and do the whole "hey did you just see that fight?" line.. that'll work just fine.


Good luck bro!

Author:  Havik [ Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:42 am ]
Post subject: 

Fantastic help my friends. Thanks!

Havik

Author:  Mr.nonchalance [ Fri Aug 28, 2009 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  hey let me tell you failing is fun

when i read alot of inner game post they always said the more you fail the quicker you learn so i say get out there and start failing more and quick so you can get better good luck

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