Little about myself: I am 26 y.o. consider myself (based on feedback from lots of girls) quite attractive. Recently got out of LTR so my social circle is broken and my social skills are crippled as well (bars/clubs).
I've been a passive consumer of PUA stuff for a while now (even when I was in LTR hehe) - listened to Mystery Method and The Game on my iPod - decided to try to this stuff in field as rationally it made a lot of sense. You see fellow PUA, I am a rationalizer - I need to comprehend to be comfortable and more on that below.
Yesterday (it was a friday night) I went out with my friend. I told him about the game - he likes the idea but I think he has too short attention span or not enough motivation to change his behavior. He has a lot of AMOG qualities - loud, confident, expressive. Not very good at conversations with girls but is a bomb on a dance floor. I am the opposite - I am pretty comfortable talking to people but lack confidence on a dance floor. I can dance and stuff but I am for some reason subconscious - on that below.
So first we went to a lounge - my perfect envorinment. We hanged around and I spotted a bunch(about 10) of girls at the bar with no guys. I approached a bar to get a drink and I saw the girls were getting ready to do shots. Here is when I came up with a "Shots opener" which sounds as follows: "Hey! so whats the occasion?!". They told me that it was one of their friends bachelorette party I so went all like "Oh no she shouldn't do that - life is too good to be married!" (jokinly). All this time I was talking to the tall brunette HB7 (HBTB). She seemed to enjoy the interaction but there was a feeling of approaching interrupt in the air so I ejected.
We cruised the venu for a while, I opened another set again with the "Shots" opener. Set was asian HB7, some fat chick and some other ugly chick - we fluffed a little but I didn't hook mainly because I didn't give any attention to her friends - my mistake #1 last night - not working the obstacle.
We hanged out a bit more and at some point we were walking by a sitting set of like 4 chicks - mix of HB7s HB8s and one fat girl (FG). I decided to not open them (maybe out of approach anxiety and the fact that they were sitting) but as we were walking by they opened me. Drunk HB7 (HB7D) yelled: "Hey who are you?" I smiled over my shoulder, walked couple of steps forward then turned around and approached them: "Who am I? Who are u to ask that?" She told me what her name was, asked mine and then the rest of the set introduced themselves. half of them were pretty drunk. Apparently they were also a part of bacheolette party - which I made a 30 sec convo out of. Suddenly HB7D goes: "Hey, if you buy me a drink - I'll make out with you!". To which I responded in Mystery/Style manner: "I don't usually make out with random girls, but If YOU buy ME a drink - I WILL do it" All her friends went like OOOOOOO! - massive IOI
) next thing I know the FG is kinoing me and is offering to make out "for free" ) I didn't wanna make out with her so I continued running the set having HB7D as a target. Then the "future wifey" came along and started talking girls into going somewhere else. She was coming and leaving several times so I didn't have a good opportunity to open her. By that time HB7D got distracted by something as she was pretty drunk so I switched my attention to another HB7 on my immediate left, whom I initially treated like an obstacle. We fluffed, then I ran the "girls fight routine" - she laughed, then I ran "C ws U smile" routine and she seemed to be really into it but then the "future wifey" came over and told everyone that she wants to go elsewhere - it was a bachelorette pary - so all of them had to do what she says. So I couldn't #close. Now I am thinking I probably at least should've tried. I personally think I ran that set OK - if they didn't have to leave (interrupt) - I would probably close. I think I did the right thing by not moving towards HB7D to make out with even though she also offered to do it for free as she was pretty drunk and didn't seem too consistent in her behavior - I didn't want to come to her and be rejected - I decided I have better chances if I passively reject and neg her and DHV in a same time. I could have a kclose but it would have been a fools mate if any. Any thoughts ? We were about to leave and on our way out we spotted a 3 set of HB8, asian HB7and and UG. HB8 was really drunk and she was dancing so my wing opened her by staring dancing along. I opened the rest of the set with a direct "Hi you are cute, I wanna meet you" opener. They opened. We started talking HB7 was pretty into me - she was asking me questions, brushing her hair - IOI. But I Totally forgot about the obstacle - the UG! So after a minute UG goes: "I WANNA DANCE" and she pulled away 2 other girls somewhere. - Yet again - WORK THE FUCKING OBSTACLE !!!
That night I also came up with some pretty neat obstacle disarmer. When I was fluffing with 1st bachelorette party girls - there was one that gave me "the look" (in a bad way) and continued staring at me with her arms crossed. So I look at her with smile and say to my target: "Look you can totally tell this girl doesn't like me! She is all like :'Who is this guy? what a hell is he doing here, who the hell he thinks he is coming up to a group of girls and having a nice conversation with them?' " - obstacle smiled and melted right away. She said that she is a teacher and therefore was skeptical about me - which I made a 30 sec convo out of
- I think it's a good obstacle disarmer - you comment on what person is doing and thinking with a NEG implied and they try to redeem themselves by saying that they actually like you. Why wouldn't they - you came up to have nothing but a good conversation and you are not threatening. If she keeps being a bitch to you - her more open friends might get annoyed with her We eventually decided to go to another club cause music in this one sucked. So we went to the dance club with no lounge elements whatsoever. And I for some reason started feeling like I have no tools. Dance floor is all about non verbal interaction, about kino escalation, etc. And I really suck at this, but my friend is a guru of the dance floor. I tried to talk to one girl - russian HB8 (HB8R) - she seemed interested but she was talking over her shoulder and I was standing behind her I decided that continuing conversation like this = DLV and I decided to freeze her out by dancing with another cutie. When turned around - HB8R was exchanging numbers with another guy and that shit just broke me. I decided to wait for this guy to leave - but he wasn't going anywhere. I was so pissed as felt like I had a shot with that girl and that guy seemed to have a lot lower value than me (fat, older). So here I am all pissed at myself trying to wait and have no wing man as my friend is dancing on a mini stage with some chick. I know I should have recovered from this by starting to dance with some other girl but I got too selfconcious + I think I experienced one-itis
) My wingman wasn't there to help me to maintain my social proof - I was basically a guy by himself in a club. I figured I should go home so I left.Now questions to fellow PUA:
1. What do you think about my game at lounge?
2. What can u suggest to help to reach the hooking point in a set?
3. What can you recommend to improve my game in clubs?
4. Am I right in being pissed at my friend?
Cheers.