I went out friday night with a friend's girlfriend, just to show her a good time. She has a summer job in the area, and is a totally innocent 105 lb asian girl. I went out with the intention of talking to her, paying attention to her, and being the 'responsible one' while she had alcohol for what was most likely the 4th time in her entire life.
Long story short, she had too much and started getting sick. I was very focused on making sure she was ok, taking her to the bathroom when she felt ill, making sure she was hydrating, insisting that she eat something, etc... There were two girls who sat near us, and I started talking to them since my friend, the asian girl, was just trying to keep it together and in no talking mood. I wasn't trying to hit on anyone, and although the three of us (two sober girls + me) were having an interesting conversation I was clearly distracted and had to frequently leave to take care of the drunk girl.
As my drunk friend and I were leaving the lounge, one of the girls slipped her # into my front pocket, and I smiled and said "You should take me out to get a cup of coffee sometime. Perhaps when I don't have someone to take care of". She wanted my # so I gave it to her, and I went home.
I forgot even meeting this girl, but this morning I get a txt from her saying "What no coffee
" . We text back and forth a few times, and now she's taking me out for drinks on thursday. This worked out extremely well, so I am really trying to pick the interaction apart to figure out what I did so right. I have determined that the major factors are (in no particular order)1) I clearly was not trying to move on the two sober girls. In this situation it was because I had a drunk friend to watch, but it was effective none the less. I need to learn how to get my brain to shift into the same mode whenever I want (or at least create the appearance of similar behavior).
2) I had to leave the conversation frequently. They had every opportunity to leave, to sit somewhere else, to allow others in this packed lounge to sit in our seats, etc.. but they didn't. I think this was an IOI, although I didn't realize it at the time.
3) I didn't call or txt the HB until she made contact with me. In this situation it was because I forgot meeting her (it was a loooong night after getting back to my house... my friend was really sick), but again, still effective.
4) Anytime I want to refer to she and I doing something together, I phrase it in ways like "I'll let you take me to ___" or "You could buy me a drink". I think that this language is what helped me turn meeting for coffee during the day to meeting for drinks at night.