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Personal Boot Camp - Day 1
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Author:  mellowmarshall [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Personal Boot Camp - Day 1
Intro:
I work in a hospital on night shift. My goal with this "boot camp" is to practice my game, and the women involved are mostly in LTRs so not closing is not really an issue. I am 24, good looking, but still a hopeless AFC. These posts are going to be long and detailed, and hopefully help future AFCs.


Day 1.

First day of conscious game. Drove to work with several ideas for lines to run on HB8-H (engaged). Skipped the initial line half due to AA, and half to an obstacle. The opener would have been simple:

[Walk in, looking irritated. Possibly hands on hips, body slightly averted]
M-"You know...nevermind."
[Walk away]

Ideally setting up some curiosity, if my BL was communicated clearly. I'm still hesitant to game too obviously at work, since I'm supposed to act professional or something. Bullshitted with other co-workers for a while, did the usual just-got-to-work activities. Went back to open with my second line, HB is now isolated.

M-"You and I need to talk."
H-"Um...ok?"

Let me explain here that I have been greeting HB-H on a daily basis for several weeks. We haven't had a single conversation because she has been deliberately avoiding it (I suspect her aunt, another coworker, warned her I might try to pick her up as I have had several relationships with women from work and flirt actively with HBs that I meet there).

[Hands on hips, slightly inside her comfort zone, head tilted down to look stern, with intense EC]
M-"You know, I've been saying hi to you on a regular basis for a few weeks now, and it seems like you're trying hard not to talk to me. Actually, you've been pretty rude."
H-"What?! No, I'm just not used to you. You know, I didn't know you so..."

In retrospect this was probably a bitch shield; she has pretty obviously been avoiding conversation but the angry approach caught her off guard and the shield went down. Honestly, I hadn't thought of a bitch shield breaker at all up to this point. This was all intended to be push-pull.

M-"Are you always a bitch to people you don't know?"
H-"I wasn't trying to be a bitch, I guess I'm just shy."
M-"Shy huh? I wouldn't have guessed. You have a flirty vibe."

**I want to mention that the flirty comment is not fluff. I'm going to call it "seeding", unless its already defined as something else. The concept is to insinuate an idea such as being adventurous, flirty, spontaneous etc, to an HB who is not any of those things, and then later convince her she is "that" by making observations of her actions. Think "The Emperor's New Clothes".**

Here we were interrupted. I had a few more lines planned but the break in convo gave me time to psyche myself out. Fucking nerves. By the time she finished the work, she was in a conversation with the obstacle and I had to skip the lines to jump back in. I opened with some fluff that I don't remember clearly, and then went for a subtle neg followed by a DHV:

M-"So, what's your middle name?"
H-"D. What's yours?"
M- [to obstacle] "What's your middle name?"
O-"blah blah hindi names blah blah blah"
H- [more insistent] "What's your middle name, M?"
M-"Mine? I only tell that to special people."
H-"Oh I see. And I guess we're not special."
M- [shake head] "Maybe you will be, some day."

The goal here was to maintain some mystery, however stupid it might seem. Remember, this is at work and I don't want to be too obvious or sexual when there are several people in hearing distance, especially since I'm running game on a girl who's engaged. I blatantly ignored her to neg (DLV?) her, and then excluded her from an imaginary group of people to DHV myself. Unfortunately, I AFC'd the next line, which I think would have been a great neg:

M-"H D. Pretty hot name. It's too bad you didn't grow into it."
**(after rereading the Terms of Importance, I realize this is not a neg, because its too direct. That would just be an insult. Good thing I didn't get a chance to use it!)

I was really hoping to set up some approval seeking with this line, but I was already uncomfortable with the obstacle still standing there, and a group of three had migrated nearby; a word like hot would probably draw too much attention at work so I dropped it. The conversation went to shit, me having no idea where to go from there, and HB-H started talking with the obstacle again. I stood around for a few seconds and then decided to cut my losses to save face.

I sort of replayed the scene in my head while I got to working: I didn't use any kino, and any use of BL was unintentional. My nerves were still showing. I was talking PUA but I wasn't acting it. I don't think I did any damage, but I definitely have work to do. For an instant I had second thoughts about negging her again. Her comment on leaving changed my mind:

M-"Bye, H. Maybe now that you aren't so rude we can get to know each other."
H- [sarcastically] "Or maybe I should be really rude so you know what it feels like."

During the night I worked on BL and alpha behaviours. I used triangular gazing on some female coworkers, let my eyes wander while they talked, smiled and laughed only if I was genuinely amused. I also tried mimicry for a bit. It didn't seem to make a difference in the conversation but it was funny copying mannerisms without the other person noticing, since it feels extremely obvious. When I wanted someone to do something, I told them instead of asking, including my boss. A bit ballsy but she didn't act offended. I also tried to eliminate non-alpha behaviours like lip-biting and nervous laughs.

When the morning crew showed up, along with a couple of young married HB8s, I was feeling pretty good. HB-B I know well. HB-L is new. I used kino on them both with a bunch of fluff in between. EC was well controlled, letting my gaze drop while they talked and doing a bit of triangular gazing. I also neg'd a mid-40s non-HB which made her extremely vulnerable, but I guess most older women are like that. As I left HB-B IOI'd me and I rewarded her with a wink and a smile.

The biggest challenge I can see from day 1 is the environment, trying to game clean and building attraction without saying anything sexual. My lines are all contrived and unnatural and so I lose track of my BL and my mid-game sucks. My goal for HB-H next time is to build some rapport and comfort and use kino at least once. I don't have any real leads for eliciting values but that's another top priority. HB-L is training to work on my shift and we'll probably be seeing more of her in future entries. HB-B is most likely a dead-end but I would never burn a bridge with an HB8 I haven't f-closed, so I will keep practicing game on her as well.
Author:  Black Phantom [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 6:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Personal Boot Camp - Day 1
Quote:
especially since I'm running game on a girl who's engaged.
seriously dude, you have got to get your shit together.

Im not going to pass no judgements here, but you should work on your inner game a lil bit.

I can see you are a very analytical person, so you analyze every step of the interaction. Also you are very detailed. From one hand that is good, because you will really get it if you stick to it. But I also think that you are missing the opportunity to BE in the moment.

If you are not comfortable gaming women at work, than maybe try to find another place to meet women. Try BARS, or CLUBS, or LIBRARY, or even and wow, this is a huge one, try COFFE SHOPS.

My man you are putting waay too much weight on one interaction. I remember when I was doing the same. What I found out was, that NOBODY GIVES A DAMN about your conversation. So I don`t care if the interaction doesn`t go well, I just move on to the next one. But I had to do a lot of approaches too, and so my approaches are natural now.

So try this. Just try it. GO TO PLACES where you woun`t feel uncomfortable approaching women, and than do as much approaches and have as many interactions as you can. Make you goal to approach 100 women in 5 days. After that, you will be much more relaxed and your game will be much more smooth.

Try it.
Author:  Clozer [ Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
I kind of have to agree with Black Fantom. You are putting way to much emphasis on one interaction. Seriously, the way you analyze this is as if you have never been layed before. And it's just me, but I try to avoid getting involved in a non-professional way with women at work. But then again, if it's just a side-job for you, or a job you are not so serious about, I see no harm in practicing PUA techniques while you kill time at work.

I think a PUA who has been with many women sees the entire picture of the pick up process, whereas you are only focusing on one small part of the bigger picture. It's good that you are reflective though, because when you do that you can make yourself better. If you have any progress with this girl I would be interested to hear about it.
Author:  RVAIS [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Most females (anyone for that matter) especially working over-night will endulge any flirting/conversation their probably bored as hell! Ever hear the term workhot it means someone whos hot at work where you are trapped but you might not listen to or flirt with out in the real life. As far as the engaged thing I wouldn't touch that!! Daygame and/or go out on your nights off! Gaming at work is dicey but tempting!
Author:  APfritzMCG [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeah, im in agreement here. i have dated my fair share of girls from work and its not a good idea. complicates things way too much

do some inner game. you seem insecure. youre over-negging which is a good way to get girls to think youre just a jerk. i also used to have this problem.

here's how i fixed it:
remember when youre in like middle school or high school or whatever it is, you start talking to a girl you think is really cute? maybe you have a class with her, and you start thinking she might like you or "shes the one" or whatever line of bullshit goes through afc minds. and then one day she says something that makes you insecure. shes not being mean, but you know you have been friended.

i play that role with all girls i meet. i have social-proof, i have friends, i talk to girls, girls show interest in me. at that point, its just a matter of the girl seeing it, and me not showing that level of interest in her. be the coolest guy with everyone that isnt the target, and the target will wonder how to get you.

good luck. as always, pm me if you have questions
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