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| My first approach: A day that will live in Infamy! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=47648 |
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| Author: | Walter Sobchak [ Sun Jun 28, 2009 1:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | My first approach: A day that will live in Infamy! |
What’s the craic lads? Here’s my first approach story! I know...I deserve a medal Was out in my hometown last weekend with an old mate and his girlfriend, both of whom I would have known from secondary school. We’re in a popular bar, out in the smoking area - the place is practically overflowing, a real meat-market. There was electricity in the summer air; people are out to feast, fight and fuck. My mate is cock of the walk – thinking he’s the man, because now he has sex on tap and is AMOGGING the absolute shit out of me. “There’s a nice one for you Walter” he says, indicating towards the most unfortunate looking creature in the room whilst digging me in the ribs with his elbow. I take this friendly slagging in a good natured manner....for the first 25 minutes. I’d spotted a pretty girl in a blue dress who was giving me plenty of IOI’s (thank you "The Definitive Book of Body Language" – I was so utterly clueless before reading you!) and she looked vaguely familiar too. I had to act. I had to prove myself; I was going to take him up on his little challenge. As I psyched myself up to make the approach, my mind began racing through a vortex of potentially hellish outcomes. There she was, surrounded by five friends. Four were seated and one was standing right beside her – thankfully, the targets position suited my angle of approach perfectly. Nevertheless a tidal wave of anxiety had engulfed me. Sweaty palms. Self doubt. Adrenaline is pumping through my system. Fight or flight – facing down a ravening Sabre-tooth with a toothpick seemed like a more welcoming prospect. Then after what seemed like an eternity – something happened, I gradually began to zone out; all the while my mates babbling away and I’m giving perfunctory, one word answers and grunts, “heh”, “Really?”, “Oh Yeah?” - The holy trinity of disinterested responses. I’m in another dimension. Moving from AFC Limbo to a Valhalla of steely resolve, “Excessive thought impedes action”, “Excessive though impedes action”, this became my mantra. I say to my mate, “See that girl in the Blue dress there? I’ll have her number in 10 minutes”. I no longer gave a fuck. This is how I rationalised it to myself, “What’s important here Walter is not whether you ultimately get her number or if you make an ass of yourself. You’re not doing this to prove anything to your mate, you don’t really care if you get the girl or not – you’re doing this for yourself. This is the first motherfuckiing step. Whether you succeed or fail is irrelevant so long as you simply... do.” Before I know it I’m up from the table and am making my way over. It feels like the Bataan Death March, I don’t even know how the hell I’m going to open – but it doesn’t matter, I’m up and moving. As I draw near a spark of recognition ignites a firestorm across my brain...holy shit...I actually know this girl...sure, I haven’ seen her since 1998 but I’m almost certain it’s her, I hope it’s her. “Katie” with the lisp, I’d been in sixth class with her. I decide to take the plunge, it’s a risk but it could pay off big time.... W: “Hey there, If I can guess your name you have to buy me a drink, deal?” (“Boom headshot”, her eyes light up like Christmas) K: Sure... (she’s intrigued)... but how do I know that you haven’t asked anyone already? W: You’re just going to have to trust me... (Note to self – get her name wrong on purpose!) K: Ok...go on.... W: It’s Helen isn’t it? K: Sorry... W: Best of three (I say smiling?) K: Ok one more go...but thats all you get... W: It’s Katie. (Delivered firmly, without any doubt) K: Oh my god (She’s slightly tipsy), that’s kind of impressive. (She punches me playfully in the shoulder...) W: I notice You don’t have that cute little lisp of yours anymore... K: How do... (She takes it well and is definitely curious now) W: (I cut across) Well I did help you out in art class... K: Oh my God....Walter (She hugs me warmly.) W: Introduce me to your friends; you went to St. “Finians” secondary did you? K: Yes... (turning to her mates)...hey guys this is Walter I went to primary with him... W: (To the Group) Ah St “Finians” girls, you guys have a reputation... Group: Giggling etc... All the while this is going on I’m trying to keep focused and not fuck up, I’m trying to suppress relief and jubilation that this shit is actually working. I build a rapport with the group and before you know it she and I seemed to have magically moved at least five feet from the table and are in the middle of the floor, alone. Mission accomplished. Ultimately however it would prove to be a mission accomplished in the George W. Bush sense.... Ahh the power of nostalgia, “Remember crazy old...,””Remember that time when Jack...”. She’d just gotten back from a year in Australia and my nostalgic meanderings were a veritable aphrodisiac. I subtly attempt Kino escalation. “I’m scarred from my experience in that school literally, I was playing Basketball one day and that bitch Emma (A nasty piece of work who nobody liked) scratched my wrist. She takes the bait and suddenly grabs a hold of my hand to take a look at my wrist. My hand ends up resting against her right breast. It...is...on! She notices the Scar I have running right down the side of my neck behind my right ear. She traces it with her finger. “That’s impressive... how did you get that” she says. I’m officially hard at this point. I take a step back and decide to employ a time constraint. “Well that’s a story for another day...I’ve got to get back to my friend and his Girl over there... tell you what...give me your number and we can meet up..”. “Sure”, she says. I get the number, kiss her on the cheek and bid her adieu. I return to the table. I am officially the man, his girl even compliments me, “that was impressive she said, I wouldn’t have done that”. I try to play it cool, “Nothing ventured is nothing gained” I say nonchalantly. Inside however, I feel like I’ve stormed Omaha beach. I wait three days and call her, what ensues is an altogether different fuckin’ story...mission accomplished indeed. Kind regards, Walter |
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| Author: | hollywoodd [ Sun Jun 28, 2009 2:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
haha i love the enthusiasm on the report man well played! nice job on the saying "fuck it" part |
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| Author: | The Alien Elite [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 5:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Dude I love your reporting style for real..."Boom headshot" LOL! Good job! |
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