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Post Mortem: It was all going so well...
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Author:  Poisson [ Mon Jun 15, 2009 8:18 am ]
Post subject:  Post Mortem: It was all going so well...

Sometimes I can be such an AFC, and I don't quite get what went wrong at this one. Opinions please!

A description first. Very slender girl, quite a bit younger than me but serious beyond her years. I was getting lots of IOI's - smiling, laughing, intense eye contact, physical closeness - so I said we should go out dancing another night. She was really really keen, but basically ran off straight away.

A couple of days later I fired her a message on myspace and suggested salsa on Saturday. She was keen but said how about this other one on Friday that she was planning on going to. I only said "maybe" because I had to get up really early Saturday morning and I'd give her a call. Turns out I ended up going with another girl, just someone I'm friends with, so I gave her a ring. She wasn't out that night, was just gonna do Sunday. Looking good.

Come Sunday I meet her near where she lives, and we walk in to the club. Talk so easily and get on really well. We get to the club and grab a drink and just chat for an hour or so. Other friends swing by and I get some social proof. The conversation gets pretty deep - religion, meaning of life, things like that - but I try to always keep it light. More IOI's, flicking of hair, that kind of thing. Then we go dance, and it gets pretty close and snuggly.

Then it goes nowhere. We both dance around with a few other people. Guys are dripping off her but she always is happy to dance with me (another IOI, or just a sense of obligation? AFC me wasn't sure). Eventually we decide to call it a night and I disarm another AMOG relatively gently, not too aggressive alpha. We talk, I try to initiate more kino but no reciprocation so I don't push it. A quick and friends-only hug goodnight and loose agreement to dance again sometime. I think I just got LJBF. Bugger.

OK, where did it go wrong? One place it definitely went wrong is maybe I should have forced more kino earlier on? Hug to greet and occassional hand on the back didn't seem to get anything back to her. This is one area of weakness.

She's quite a few years younger than me, so maybe another tactical mistake was praising her for being mature beyond her years. Now she has a standard to live up to where maturity = hard to get. Not sure how much influence this would have had.

A third mistake might just have been not being more aggressive. What kind of reciprocation do I need to get for the kino? I guess that's a calibration issue?

Thanks for any tips/feedback!

P.

Author:  Jaybot [ Mon Jun 15, 2009 8:27 am ]
Post subject: 

With day 2s you need to go in strong with kino early, I usually go for kinda one step back form what you were last up to or just a huge hug. But yar you should have been escalating the conversation sexually, in rapport that deep if you aren't showing her you like her and acting upon it you become a cool guy to talk to.

So yar next time go in strong with kino and sexually escalate the conversation whilst rocking more kino. It takes a while to get your head around but women go to day 2s because they are romantically/sexually interested in the guy (short of you saying we are buddies etc) so they are there to be seduced you just gotta do it.

Author:  Poisson [ Mon Jun 15, 2009 8:51 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
With day 2s you need to go in strong with kino early, I usually go for kinda one step back form what you were last up to or just a huge hug. But yar you should have been escalating the conversation sexually, in rapport that deep if you aren't showing her you like her and acting upon it you become a cool guy to talk to.

So yar next time go in strong with kino and sexually escalate the conversation whilst rocking more kino. It takes a while to get your head around but women go to day 2s because they are romantically/sexually interested in the guy (short of you saying we are buddies etc) so they are there to be seduced you just gotta do it.
Yeah, well fingers crossed there's a day 3 with this girl because she's pretty hot (8-9) but if not, well life goes on. What are some good ways to escalate sexually in conversation? It seems hard to do, it'd just feel like I was being blatant, but maybe that's the point??

P.

[Edited because what I wrote was confusingly worded.]

Author:  Jaybot [ Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:14 am ]
Post subject: 

In conversation I usually am either quite direct ("I would do filthy things to you" etc) or a favorite ask them their most embarrassing story, then when they hesitate say I'll go first. Then tell a sexual story and re-ask the question so what's the dirtiest/sluttiest thing you have ever done.

If they are a little more reserved you can just go for telling them they look sexy and that they should come back to yours (sounds AFC but works). Or just go completely kino, fluff talk whilst escalating physically.

Author:  Slowburner [ Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Post Mortem: It was all going so well...

Quote:
What kind of reciprocation do I need to get for the kino?
I don't think you need any. Escalate they will let you know if they don't like it

Author:  Clozer [ Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:40 am ]
Post subject: 

Sounds like you have no game plan. You went out with this girl on a day 2, but in your mind you had no vision on how you would f close at the end of the night. Maybe that's because you don't have a lot of experience. But when I do a day 2 and I'm planning to f close I have very specific things in mind on how the date will go, where I will bring the girl, the suggestions I will make to get her there, etc.

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