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a bad night question...
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Author:  dilequeno [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:58 am ]
Post subject:  a bad night question...
hey guys,
just came back home tonight wasnt a successfull one. i knew the minute i walked in my body language was off... i read lots of stuffs about it lately, tried it but it just didnt feel right. so i threw openers with few conviction, i even caught myself big time DLV couples of times and it stayed in my head throughout the night.

so it leads to my question: when you just don't feel right, is it better to leave or just try more? i was afraid that if i left so quick, i would regret it later. so i stayed a bit, it didnt go much better though, yet i'm glad i didnt run away right too soon now...
my main mistake i guess was not going social right away... i waited a bit, it was so crowded i felt overwhelmed. i made progress these last days and tonight kinda feel like a step back. an unpleasant feeling! the only good part i guess was at the bar. i didn't wait a long time like others did and put pressure on the barman to get it now. an old habit :) thanks for your opinions guys, cheers.
Author:  pillow_fight [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 1:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Just keep sarging, everyone has bad nights. They can't all be good. Maybe practice in front of a mirror or know in your head "I'm the best thing that can happen to any girl in this place".
Author:  JSmooth [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 6:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good questions...

I think when you are starting out it's important to try to plow through bad nights. You did the right thing in recognizing that you were off and eventually leaving though. There is one key problem in what you wrote that you need to address.

Stop going in your head while out there. "Thinking in field is the enemy." You need to do less thinking and more making moves. Thinking is for when you're at home or whatever learning. When you overthink things it trips you up and ruins your night, then you have missed opportunities.
Quote:
i even caught myself big time DLV couples of times and it stayed in my head throughout the night.
For example, you said you'd been doing a lot of reading about body language. Then you went in the club. Your mind starting thinking, and you were over thinking your body language. This screws up your attitude and mind then it becomes tough to approach. You are now concious that you're "off" tonight. GAME OVER.

Do the thinking about what happened when you get back and write your Field Report. Just try to stay on track, and open sets.

Be careful of allowing yourself to go into your head again in field. It's tough to master but I know you can do it. IF you start then open someone, anyone, to focus your mind on something else. It's like getting a bad song stuck in your head all day.

"We have identified the enemy. And they, is us."[/i]
Author:  dilequeno [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 1:42 am ]
Post subject: 
thats great advice man, thanks
Author:  Adam Francis [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 12:29 am ]
Post subject: 
work on your inner game and you will see a dramatic difference, if this happens agains just keep repeating "I'm the fucking shit and any girl in here is lucky if I talk to them."
Author:  skiepi [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:46 am ]
Post subject: 
These are the steps from being completely horrible at something to being a master at something

1 - You are bad at sargin but do not even know why you are not getting results. You are frustrated (AFC)

2 - After informing yourself, you now know Consciously that you are doing something wrong. You innevitably still act in wrong ways, but at least now you know why you dont get results and on what to work on. (The stage you are at now)

3 - You start getting success. You Conciously know that you are doing the right things.

4 - Doing the right things is now so natural for you that you dont even notice on a concious level. all the correct steps (having higher value, etc... are in your subconscious)


Dude, just be glad you are not in step 1 anymore!

It is the hardest step to take (from step one to step two)... Most of us have been AFCs all their lifes.


So my advice is simple. The sooner you accept that you are doing the wrong things the less you will think about them DURING THE FIELD. In the field it is important that you simply run sets. The more you go out there and expose yourself, the less bad sets you will have, and the more good sets you will have.

So smile while you are on set.
Another thing I read about (but do not remember who to give credit to) is that when sarging only remember the good things. For example "whit this set, this worked, ill try it similar or exactly the same on the next set. (which is right next to me...3 second rule!!!)

This will trick your mind into a positive momentum.


Only the next morning will you actually sit down and think about all the bad things that happened.Then think on how to avoid them on the next charge.
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