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Long First Field Report
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Author:  Ocean Ice [ Wed Jan 28, 2009 3:32 am ]
Post subject:  Long First Field Report

Evening all,

First field report, didn't quite turn out like I expected, was basically a crash and burn, but I think it helped teach me that more practice is necessary.

After work, went to the gym with two buddies of mine, neither of whom has ever really lifted weights or gone to a gym. When we first came in, the HB8 behind the counter needed to take a picture of my buddy for his gym access. While she was doing that, I started talking to her and commented on an upper-ear earring (AFC thing to do to ask about something, but ice was broken already and figured it couldn't hurt). She opened up and started saying how much it hurt, blah blah, then another gym member came up so I said bye and headed off to run.

I ran for about a half hour, then met back up with my friends to go work out. One of them had to talk to the manager about some financial mixup, so I was hanging out with him near the front desk, waiting for the manager to get off the phone.

While I was there, I figured I would try to continue the rapport I had attempted to build earlier. I looked over my shoulder at her and tried to use the "Do you believe in magic?" opener. Unfortunately, the perfect routine that was in my head came out as stuttering. Here's basically how the conversation went:

Me: "I have a question for you, do you.. believe in.... magic?"
Her: "Do I believe in it? Not really, I think there's some trick behind it"
Me: "Well...a friend...I have a friend...there's this girl...she liked him and he didn't like her...then he found a trinket with some stuff wrapped around it...he thinks it was some spell...."

At this point, I felt retarded and the phone rang at her desk, so she motioned that she had to answer it, then avoided all eye contact. Her body language during the interaction went from fairly open based on our earlier brief "discussion" to being closed. At this point my buddy was finished with what he needed to do, so I walked away and said/half mumbled "Nice talking to you, we'll continue later". If she heard, she didn't make any signs indicating she did.

Typically I'm charismatic and easygoing with a good sense of humor; however, when I am purposely trying to flirt with a girl, it comes off unnatural and awkward. In comfortable social situations (at work, around friends) I'm usually the center of attention and well-liked. In one-on-one situations like this, pretty well bombed. I know I need to practice the routine more so it becomes natural, this is the first time I've ever tried to use it and I could tell it came off sounding rigid and awkward.

While leaving, had to get parking validated, and her body language was fairly open and she said "Good luck with that girl thing, sorry we got interrupted earlier". I just kind of smiled and said it wasn't a problem.

I've read through the Mystery Method, delved into the beginnings of NLP, have been studying body language in people at work, and am familiar with a few of the routines. Haven't gotten into the field much but am trying to use the techniques in places I go. Hard to sarge without a wing, and although friends say they are willing, haven't taken them up on it yet.

Well, this has been longer than expected, but as a first post, wanted to be thorough. Comments are welcome, and if anyone is in the Arlington, VA/DC Metro area, would love to learn from someone with experience.

"Ocean"

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