I met up with a girl on X-Mas eve at one of my most-visited pubs. I was just generally being C&F with her, lots of kino, etc. Later on we sat down, we were getting on REALLY well. I tested her trust in me by putting her hand on my knee, etc. She passed the test very well.
Later on, my friend came over (quite drunk) and said shit to us like, "Dude, she is gorgeous! I'm going to teach you how to treat girls properly! I guarantee she will love you!"
I thought, "Riiiight... I'm sat here, with a girl who has her hand on my knee, has been kissing me on the cheek all night and YOU are going to tell me how to get the girls?!"
I said, "Yeah, cool. I'm going to the bar." The girl I was with said, "I'll get these in" and handed me a note.
My friend (AFC) follows me, drags me aside and said, "Mate, she is gorgeous. If you don't keep her, I'm going to laugh my arse off. I'll teach you the ways. Ok?"
I said, "*Friends Name*, I've got this far on my own, I'm sure I can hold on to her. Don't worry, man!"
The drinks came in, we sat down.
He says to us, "XeroXed, you should compliment her on her amazing looks, and very nice dress. Touch it when you say it, look her in the eyes and kiss her. Tell her how lucky you are to have her!"
I said, "She knows I like how she looks, I don't have to say this to her. Actions speak louder than words. She's lucky to have such an awesome guy with her!"
She was laughing her arse off at this point. So I thought, "fuck it!" and played along.
Very jokingly/sarcastic I said, "Oh my fucking God! I love your dress. You look so hot. I'm so lucky to have you sat with me. I have to compliment everything about you otherwise you will leave me! If you leave, I'll have nobody to wind up! Such a shame! *Friends Name*, thank you for teaching me how to talk to girls! I'd be fucked without you!"
Thank fuck for my other mate who dragged my drunk mate away at that point. After he left, the girl I was with gave me a fucking right kiss! Now she won't stop texting me!
I thought it was very, very fucking amusing and shed so much light on the life of a PUA and tought me how NOT to be! So, beware of EVERYONE, even the AFC's will try and AMOG you!
