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My first outing. Just saying hi.
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Author:  Immortal [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:14 am ]
Post subject:  My first outing. Just saying hi.
So i went out with the intention of breaking approach anxiety.

It started out ok. i was just going to say hi and try to talk to anyone i could.

I said hi to a lady in her late 20s in an elevator. she smiled, mumbled something i couldn't make out that started with an h.

Outside however it took me a few trys to garner a response.
First i passed 3 girls talking in what i can only assume was an African language. i smiled said hello and turned my head toward them slightly.
No response.

A cute girl maybe 21 walked passed. she looked cold. she had a touque on, her ears weren't covered so i'm sure she heard me say hi. no response.

Well that sucked. old guy on the corner. he looked angry. "how's it going"
"i'm lost" i gave him directions to royal bank. my first real response. not bad.

A few more walk by's when i just said hi. then one guy said hi back. But didn't turn or look at me. Is it too cold out? or am i doing something wrong? Maybe i need to be a little loud, walk a little more confidently, smile bigger?

I tried these things. some people passed but more and more would say something back. a lot of blank who the hell are you stares, but i'm ok with that for now.

I decided to ask questions. no hi's, no how are you's, just straight up "where's the nearest coffee shop?" "how do you keep your ears warm without a toque?" this got things going somewhat. a few people seemed like they were just waiting to dump their knowledge onto you. some just pointed. others seemed almost willing to take you there. it was pretty cool.

I was in a store and was getting help from a girl there. i was legitimately looking for something for my sister. i handed her my coffee and got her to hold it. she ended up taking a sip and i made fun of her. i told her nothing in the store suited my sister and she started making suggestions of other stores. i feel i could have gone a lot farther with the interaction but didn't know where to take it.

i also bought groceries. flirted with the cashier, then used her bag boy to kind of poke fun at her cuz she was in a bad mood. she ended up smiling and watching me as i walked out. Again, maybe that could have went further but i didn't know where to take. and she was working.

Besides my mission was to just say hi to random people and gauge responses. i think i did that.
Author:  Reminis [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Excellent FR.
Seems like you learned something and thats all that you can ask for. 8)
Author:  redpill [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:29 am ]
Post subject: 
she sips from your coffee?

"Hey there! Did I say you could have some of my coffee?? Now you got cooties all over it!"

Smile of course.
Author:  Immortal [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Do you have a cell phone? If so hand it to her while things are going smooth,
What kind of indicators do you usually like see before trying this? how do know when things are 'going smooth'. is it something that happens quickly usually?

I will try this out tomorrow.
Author:  speed-bird [ Thu Jan 01, 2009 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
What a great FR! Good results considering you didn't set your goals very high, you reached the point where you ran out of game, which is good because now you can take it to the next level. Time to do some homework and get some routines ready.

I see every interaction with people as a chance to practice conversation skills and keep them sharp. I almost always ask the cashier how to pronounce the name on their name badge if it's a foreign one, then you can ask where that name is from, or have a backup plan for if it's a familiar name.

Keep up the good work.
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